


Long Lost ____

by forceofduality



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #benlo, #breylo, #reylo, F/M, Fighting, Fingering, Fooling Around in the Shower, Half-Sibling Incest, Heavy Petting, Inappropriate touching, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Kylo gets handsy, Kylo/Rey - Freeform, Long Lost Sibling, M/F, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rey Solo, Semi-graphic violence, Sibling Incest, Sibling Rivalry, So much angst, Threesome - F/M/M, a wee bit of somnophilia, also some weed smoking, also they're a bunch of virgins, bad boi kylo has a soft heart, ben and kylo hate each other, ben/rey - Freeform, blowjob, but adorable, but also so much fluff and smut, but for a second and then its gone, funny han moments, funny leia moments, good boi ben has a dark side, guess who by, hint hint, it doesn't even come close to working though, kylo/ben/rey, nothing worse than what we see in TFA, plenty of drama, rey just wants a family, she gets a lot more, they're honestly clueless parents, tumultuous vacations, very brief attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2020-12-24 09:29:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 66,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21097226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forceofduality/pseuds/forceofduality
Summary: All Rey has ever wanted is a family to call her own. When she discovers a copy of her birth certificate, she finds Han Solo listed as her father, and reaches out to him. Though Han fails to prepare his wife and twin sons to welcome a new family member, Rey instantly bonds with one of the sons, Ben. Kylo, on the other hand, sees her as a fraud and an intruder, and is hellbent on scaring her away. The only way Rey can prove she belongs in the Solo family is through a DNA test. As everyone waits for the results, the twins find they have much more in common with Rey, and with each other, than they ever imagined.





	1. Long Lost ____

Rey had always felt like she was lost, drifting at sea, moments from falling under the waves and drowning forever. Truly, the British foster care system was nothing but a joke, and the American one even more so.

She’d spent the majority of her formative years in Westminster, bouncing from foster home to foster home. From one creaky, dilapidated building to another. The only real excitement in her life had come when she’d been lined up for adoption with a British/American couple, who brought her to Nevada shortly after she’d been placed in their care.

They had started out as the nicest couple; the most perfect people that Rey had ever been placed with. They were kind to her; listened to her babble on about her life and her dreams. They’d supported those dreams; sending her to a fantastic school, enrolling her in after school curriculars, and taking her on road trips around the state in the summer.

Nearing the age of eight, she thought she’d finally found her Forever Family.

Until the wife began sleeping with the next door neighbor, sometimes going as far as to sneak him into the house while Rey was curled up on the couch watching cartoons, giggling as they rushed up the stairs toward the bedroom. The husband, upon finding out about the affair, spiraled hard. He got himself mixed up in some shady business with a local gang, and it took no time at all for the American CPS to show up at the door to whisk her away to freedom and safety.

Yeah, right.

For the next ten years of her life, she bounced from one problematic family to the next. At times, she was an only child; until the wife got jealous of her for reasons that Rey was too young to understand. Other times, she had numerous brothers and sisters. Oftentimes, much too many. The house would be overrun with children who fought, squabbled, and stole food from one another until Rey had learned how to carefully hoard whatever meager portions she was given.

At the start of her junior year of high school, she was placed with _him. _ Not only was moving from one high school to another painful enough, he’d taken her to California just as she’d finally settled into her new school in Phoenix. She’d left behind the only small bit of familiarity in her life, of sweltering heat and wide open desert, for smog-filled skies and a junkyard on the outskirts of a major city. 

That placement had been nothing less than a nightmare. She didn’t understand how a _ creature _like Plutt had been approved to become a foster parent. It seemed all that was necessary in CPS’s eye was a roof, a semblance of a bed, and the promise of food.

Even if it was a promise that was not always kept.

The only thing that kept her afloat was hope. Hope and a single memory; though for all she knew it was only the memory of a dream. Regardless of whether or not it had been real, it helped her survive, kept her soldiering on. The memory was of a woman, with beautiful chestnut hair like her own, hugging her close and whispering in her ear that she would be back for her.

But that day never came.

Upon reaching the age of eighteen, Rey was expelled from the system. It was standard procedure; she knew it was coming. She’d made plans, prepared herself, but she should have known better than to think it would be at all easy. Two weeks after stepping out into the world as an adult, she was left with nowhere to go, no one who cared, and she’d quit the only job she’d managed to obtain on account that her boss had been the worst kind of predatory creep.

With no other choice, she lived on the street. Her only means of livelihood came from the pity of people who would toss her their spare change. It was demeaning, and humiliating, but she reminded herself every day that she’d put up with worse. Being known around school as the “junkyard rat”, coming in every day wearing torn and grease-stained clothes, and living with that awful excuse of a caretaker was, in her opinion, worse than being all on her own.

She was strong, she was cunning, and she knew when to scrap and when to flee. The money she earned that was not spent on food and a shower at the local shelter was carefully saved. She didn’t have a plan, exactly, but she had an idea.

That idea called for research. Quite a bit of it.

She went to the local library, signed herself up for a free card, and utilized her daily two-hour window of internet access per day to do as much digging as she possibly could. Some records were easier to find than others, but a few politely worded emails and a bucket load of patience lead her to find exactly what she was looking for; her birth certificate.

First, of course, she searched for her mother. It didn’t take long to find her, not when the very first result to appear on Google was her obituary.

That was the first time Rey had ever actually felt like she was on the verge of breaking. Leaving the library, she didn’t return for a few weeks. She was terrified that if she looked up her father’s name, he would be dead, too.

And then she really, _ truly _, would be alone in the world.

But hope won out over fear in the end, and as Rey settled herself back into the creaky plastic library chair, she held her breath as she typed in the name, her stomach twisted into knots.

Han Solo.

She exhaled when she saw no obituary. After a couple of misleading links, she stumbled upon a business email. Her throat had clenched as she highlighted it, and with shaking fingers she sent a man that she knew nothing about a request to meet, and talk.

She checked back every day, her hope rising each time she logged into her email, and spirit crashing to the floor each time she saw no response.

Then, a week later, she saw it. A little (1) next to the _ Inbox _ folder _ . _A response. Breath stalled, Rey just sat for a moment, staring at his name. Then, she opened the message. It was short and impersonal, but her heart had jumped into her throat upon reading that one line of text all the same:

"_Rey, I want to meet you. Come to Cantina at 2 o’clock tomorrow.”_

That afternoon, she splurged the money she had so carefully saved. Arming herself with the nicest blouse and pants the local thrift store offered, she let herself indulge in a small tube of lipgloss from an unused children’s makeup set. She didn’t sleep well as it was, considering the not-entirely-pleasant conditions under an overpass, but that night her eyes couldn’t stay closed for a single moment.

She was at _Cantina_ fifteen minutes early, tucked into a corner booth and shredding a paper napkin with nervous energy as her eyes darted around the room.

The door chimed, and her eyes flew over to the entrance. She saw him. And he saw her. And the look they shared was of mutual understanding; undoubtedly, he was her father.

Their first meeting had been, in a word, tense. Han had been on edge and nervous, his leg bouncing uncontrollably and his eyes looking anywhere but at her. He told Rey he had slept with her mother once, back in England while he was on a business trip, and that she had contacted him after only to say that she was pregnant, then vanished like a puff of smoke. He hadn’t known if she’d had the baby or not.

“To be honest, kid, I kinda forgot about it. But when I got your email, I just-- I dunno, I got this feeling in my stomach…” He’d traced the rim of his glass as he’d spoken, his expression pinched.

They sat in heavy silence until his phone chirped. He glanced down to it, his brow furrowed, and he told her he needed to leave. He must have seen the panic in her eyes, because he was quick to assure her that he wanted to see her again.

At their next meeting he told her about his family; his wife and his two twin sons. He talked about Leia with fierce admiration. She could feel the love there, and she grinned as he told her the story of how he’d won her over with his rugged good looks and his roguish charm.

He told her one of his twins was earning his PhD, while the other was in a band. Rey wondered what they looked like. Did they share any features with her? Would they like her? She didn’t know, but she also knew better than to hope she’d find out.

A month passed and they met at least twice a week. They spoke about everything, slowly becoming more and more comfortable with each other. At their most recent meeting, she told Han about her transition from the U.K. to America. He’d been stunned that she’d somehow ended up, of all places, in California.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d ever believed in something as silly as fate, but…” He shook his head, downing his beer in one gulp. He and his family had relocated to California only a handful of years ago. Even Rey had to admit that the coincidence was incredible.

Han smacked the bottle down onto the table hard enough that Rey jumped. His expression suddenly turned stern. He studied her for a moment, and never had Rey felt so much like a bug under a magnetizing glass. Then, he said the last thing she’d ever expected to hear:

“Look, I don’t know why we’re doing this. You’re my family and, honestly, I think it’s time you felt like it. My wife and I want you to live with us.”

Suddenly, his face split into a large, crooked smile that Rey had, over this last month, come to adore. “Kid, I’m taking you home.”

* * *

She felt like she was going to throw up, sitting in the passenger seat of Han’s car on the way to his home. Her stomach was a ball of nervous energy, and her head was swimming. In her childhood, she’d been forced to choke down some pretty vile things. On the street, she’d ate whatever half-molded thing had been flung in front of her. But never, _ never _had she felt this nauseous.

Driving through the suburbs, she gawked out the window of the old pickup truck at the sheer size of the houses they were passing. They only seemed to get bigger the deeper they ventured into the neighborhood. Han had hinted, half-jokingly, that he had done a bit of illegal smuggling back in the day. She hadn’t thought he’d been _ serious. _

But where else could this kind of money had come from?

“Wife’s a senator,” Han grunted, sending a smirk her way when he caught her eyeing him suspiciously.

Finally, after what felt like ages of driving through the neighborhood, Han parked his truck in the driveway of an immaculately-kept two story home that may as well have been a _ mansion _to Rey. Her eyes roved over the facade, trying to take it all in. There was movement in the corner of a window, and Rey glanced to it just in time to see a mop of black hair vanishing into the interior of the home.

_ Could it be…? _Han hadn’t mentioned if he’d told his sons that she was coming. But, surely, if he and his wife had already discussed her moving in, then their sons knew, too.

Jumping out of the truck, the door slammed shut behind her just as the door at the front of the house creaked open. In the doorway stood Leia; looking every bit of refined and immaculate as Rey had imagined she would.

What Rey _ hadn’t _imagined, though, was the look of cold anger that clouded her expression.

“Long trip to ‘the store’,” she muttered, crossing her arms. “Who’s this?”

Steps faltering, Rey shot a confused look to Han, but his gaze was trained steadily on his wife. He approached her like she was a wild animal, moving slowly with his hands splayed out in front of him.

A face appeared behind Leia. A man towered over her, making the older woman look extremely petite in comparison to his large frame. He was looking at Rey with his brows furrowed together, then his gaze flicked between Han and Leia as they spoke.

“This is Rey. Rey, this is Leia and Ben. So um. We need to talk… Maybe you and I could step away for a minute?” Han implored his wife, taking a tentative step forward..

Planting her feet, Leia crossed her arms tighter around her chest and said, “Just spit it out. Ben wants to know, too.”

Han ran his hand through his hair with a heavy sigh, hesitating for several long moments before giving a shrug. “Um. So… Rey here tracked me down we’ve been talking for a while and uh… It turns out... I’m her father.”

“WHAT?!” The exclamation came from both mother and son as they stared at Han, jaws dropped. Rey’s expression twisted up in a mixture of shame and frustration. Han had _ lied, _ and it stung. She hadn’t exactly expected a welcome party, but being _ expected at all _would have been nice. 

Reaching for Leia’s arm and pulling her into the house, Han started to explain in a lower voice as he lead her to the master bedroom. Even after they closed the door, the conversation was still mostly audible, as voices began to raise and shout. Rey watched out of the corner of her eye as Ben visibly cringed at every new detail that was revealed. Even from where she lingered on the doorstep after trailing Han up to the entrance of the house, she could hear.

“It was while we were separated for over a year, and it was just a one-time thing! _ Really! _I mean, I didn’t even know if the girl had the baby or not, she just disappeared and didn’t tell me anything else. Apparently, she chose the adoption route and--”

“Oh! So she has adoptive parents then, right? This is just a visit?”

Han’s voice quieted just a little. “Not exactly… she wasn’t that lucky. She’s been bounced around from one foster home to another her whole life and hasn’t ever gotten the chance for a real family so I–”

“So you think you’ll just add the product of a one-night stand in this family and everything will be fine?!”

“Look, I made a mistake, but she didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t put this on her!”

A beat of silence. Rey held her breath.

“You’re right… it’s not her fault. She can’t help that her father is a_ lying piece of shit! _”

“I didn’t know, I swear! Sweetheart, come on–”

But Leia was already stepping out the door, her expression the very definition of fury. Glancing towards Ben and Rey, she closed her eyes, relaxed her features, and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, this is… just a lot to process. I need a moment…”

She headed off to the kitchen, and Rey thought she overhead her mutter something about needing a stiff drink. Ben seemed to hear that part, too.

“No kidding,” he muttered, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. Rey glanced up at him, and their eyes met.

“So….I didn’t expect to be getting a new sibling today...” he said, attempting humor. Rey didn’t exactly feel like laughing, and she couldn’t manage more than a twitch of her lips before looking away. She heard him sigh, felt a ripple in the air as he fidgeted. “I don’t mean to make you feel unwelcome, though. I’m sure this is…. just as weird for you as it is for us.”

_ It wasn’t supposed to go like this. _

Crossing an arm over her stomach, Rey hung her head, knowing that defeat was coloring her expression.She closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears she felt threatening the corner of her eyes not to come. She appreciated his attempt at humor and the words he offered to try and comfort her, but shook her head.

Inhaling deeply, she forced herself to say, “This… This was a mistake. All of it. I think I should go.”

She knew she probably sounded no better than a kicked puppy, but how was she supposed to react? She hadn’t expected this meeting to go_ this wrong _, but since when had anything truly worked out smoothly for her?

Ben was silent for a moment, but before she could turn and flee, he spoke.

“If you really want to leave, you can… but please don’t feel like you have to on account of us. Or me, anyway. We’re basically strangers, but… if it’s true that you’re really my sister, I want to at least try and get to know you… if that’s alright.”

It was everything she wanted to hear. Well, not quite _ everything. _She wanted Leia to want her here, too, but she knew better than to push her luck. Glancing to Ben, she saw the sincerity in his eyes, his kind smile, and knew she couldn’t refuse.

“I would like to get to know you, too, honestly,” she admitted. “All of you.”

As badly as her stomach was churning with worry that this, too, would turn into a disaster, she couldn’t stop herself. All she had ever wanted was a family. As nerve-wracking as this whole situation was, she couldn’t stomp out that glimmer of hope.

Stepping out of the bedroom, looking like he’d taken a moment to collect himself, Han spoke up in agreeance with his son, “Please, stay. We’re going to get this all sorted out.”

Looking to Ben, he said, “And look... I’m sorry I sprung this on you and your mother.”

From the way that his already-gravelly voice dropped and grumbled, Rey got the impression that Han was not used to apologizing. Or, at least, wasn’t very good at it.

“And you should be sorry. Very sorry.” Leia said, reemerging from the kitchen. She shot her husband another glare, one which obviously said they had more to talk about, before she turned her gaze to Rey. The younger woman would have recoiled away from the attention of Han’s furious wife had her expression softened when looking at her.

Maybe whatever she’d downed in the kitchen had helped her nerves.

“Rey, dear, please stay with us for dinner. It’s nearly ready,” Leia requested.

“Alright, I will. Thank you.” Rey glanced between the three family members, and finally smiled back at Han, who was nodding his approval.

* * *

Dinner had, for the most part, gone smoother than Rey had expected. Leia made a conscious effort to be overly polite to her while as cold as possible to her husband. It was awkward, yes, but Rey was grateful that that hostile energy was not aimed anywhere near her.

Ben told her he was getting a doctorate in History. He’d looked surprised when Rey mentioned Han had already told her, muttering something about not realizing his old man ever paid attention to his major, and Rey wondered how he didn’t know just how proud his father was of him.

Speaking of Han, he had (wisely) kept silent during dinner. That was, until Rey had asked where his other son, Kylo, was and what he was doing.

Bringing a glass of whisky to his lips, Han muttered, “Piss all.”

She decided not to question him further.

“Rey, stay the night,” Leia said a little later as they stood in the kitchen with Ben. He was gathering plates, Rey was rinsing them, and Leia was loading them into the dishwasher. At the offer, Rey immediately shook her head and protested.

“No, no, thank you. I couldn’t. You’ve already been too kind…” _ By even letting me into your home in the first place, _she added mentally.

“Well, where are you staying now?” Leia asked, her brow raised.

_ On the street. _Her ratty, thrift-store clothes probably already made that much obvious, but Rey wasn’t about to admit it. “Oh, here and there.”

Looking over her head, Leia shared a look with her son that seemed to result in a telepathic understanding.

“I’ll show you where your room is,” Ben offered.

Ever stubborn, Rey had dug her heels in and insisted she couldn’t stay. She’d never met anyone who could match her stubbornness.

Apart from Leia and Ben, apparently.

They wore her down relentlessly. They were a damn tag team, the two of them. Finally, Rey had no choice but to give in.

Leia and Ben donned matching grins of triumph. With a huff and a barely-restrained smile, Rey gestured for the latter to show her the way.

Climbing the stairs, she peered at each and every framed picture that hung on the wall. She saw the twins grow up as she ascended the stairs; saw them as toddlers on their matching tricycles, then as kids on Christmas, Ben grinning through missing teeth at the camera as he happily displayed his freshly unwrapped telescope while Kylo stood on the couch in the background, pretending to shred on his new guitar. Later, she saw Ben and Kylo in their high school graduation photos, then Ben graduating with his Bachelor’s. The pictures ended there. 

“The guest bedroom is the second door on the left over here,” Ben explained. Stepping into the room, Rey marveled at the beautifully-decorated interior as he pointed toward the bathroom. “It’s Jack-and-Jill style. You’ll be sharing with Kylo, unfortunately…”

As if on cue, the front door downstairs opened and slammed shut so hard it seemed to rattle the entire frame of the house.

Ben rolled his eyes, and Rey looked at him curiously until he deadpanned an explanation.

“The prodigal son hath returned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! Jessica here! This work was made in collaboration with another fantastic writer and friend, Julia. It has been adapted from its original RP format into a story that we hope you all enjoy!


	2. The Prodigal Son(s)

Kylo’s band practice had ended earlier than usual that day, thanks to an argument with Hux over his piece-of-shit bass and piss-poor vocal skills… but then again, they had that argument almost every day. He’d cut the session short mostly because Phasma ran out of booze, and he couldn’t stand hanging out with his ‘friends’ sober any more than he could his family. But at least now, he could lock himself in his room, blast out the world with Black Sabbath, and toke until he _ almost _felt okay.

He trudged up to his room on autopilot, swaying a bit on the stairs as his buzz hadn’t quite faded. That was when he saw light streaming out from the guest room. 

What the hell? Did Leia need a _ second _ office? Was Han about to set up a home gym he’d never use? 

The thought an actual guest could be inside didn’t cross Kylo’s mind until he heard Ben talking with someone. A _ female _ someone.

Grasping the doorframe, Kylo poked his head inside, lips spread in a wide smirk as he surveyed his twin standing before a willowy brunette. 

“So you finally got a girlfriend, little brother… good to know you’re capable of surprises,” Kylo drawled as he gave the girl a once-over. He hadn’t expected her to be _ pretty _. Somehow, he’d pictured her clothes to be better than her bone structure, but it turned out to be quite the reverse. Did Ben find her modeling for Good Will? 

“You say that like you’ve had a girlfriend yourself,” Ben scoffed, arms crossed as he let out a slow breath. “This um… this isn’t what you think it is. You might want to sit down.”

Kylo snorted. Sit down? He might’ve expected such a somber air at a family intervention, but with a _ stranger _ here...

The gears clicked away in his head before grinding to a halt. 

“Oh fuck, you knocked her up—!”

“Jesus Christ, Kylo, _ no! _” Ben snapped, then clenched his fists, silent for a long moment before he tried again in a calmer tone. “Dad’s the one who… I mean… when he and Mom separated… he, uh… met someone.”

Kylo wrinkled his nose. “I’m sure he met _ many _ someones, but why should I care?” 

“Because…” Ben turned to the girl beside him and sighed. “This is Rey. She’s our half-sister.” 

The girl -- _ Rey _\-- raised her hand and offered him an awkward little wave. “Uh, hi.” 

All the smugness in Kylo’s face evaporated in an instant. A twitchy, humorless smile remained as he narrowed his eyes at Ben. “Nice one. Really elaborate...”

Ben didn’t budge. “Since when do I ever joke with you?”

Kylo’s eyes flew between him and the girl, back and forth, until his teeth clenched so hard his brain hurt. Could Han really have been so irresponsible? Abso-fucking-lutely. But that didn’t mean Kylo had to believe this was his...his… 

“Interesting, how you’re just turning up now.” His shoulders raised as he took a long stride towards Rey. “Gotta admit, pretty clever scheme. How many Senators have you tried this with already?”

“Excuse me?” Her smile faded instantly, and her arm dropped to her side like a limp fish. Gone was the fake-friendly charade, her tone doused in ice as she bit back, “Han isn’t a Senator.” 

Kylo snorted and shook his head. How stupid did she think he was? “Our _ mother _ is. You get cozy with Han, you get cozy with Senator Organa, and all her money, too. Pretty famous for her charity work, isn’t she? You _ almost _ picked the perfect family…”

“I am _ not _ a charity case,” she growled. Clearly, he’d struck a nerve. She took a step away from him, closer to Ben. “I didn’t come here for money. Or handouts. I just wanted to know who my father was. _ He’s _ the one who brought me here, and _ your _family asked me to stay. And the second they want me gone--” She hesitated, sparing a nervous glance over to his brother. “I’m gone.”

“Great! I’m part of this family, and I want you gone, _ now-- _” Kylo snarled before Ben cut him off, standing firmly between him and Rey.

“You haven’t been a part of this family for a long time. No one gives a _ fuck _ what you think,” he spat. “I knew you’d do something like this...but someone had to tell you, and I did, so it’s done. You can go tranquilize yourself now.” 

Had they been alone, Kylo would’ve throttled him. He didn’t know what was stopping him now, except perhaps the need to subvert Ben’s rock-bottom expectations. He sure as hell wouldn’t restrain himself for the sake of this _ leech _. 

“Where’s the birth certificate? The DNA test, the proof?” he asked through gritted teeth. 

“I found my birth record online,” Rey said. “Through the archives in the Westminster Hospital’s online database. It… Wasn’t an exact copy of the birth certificate, but it had my name, my mother’s name, and Han Solo’s name.” 

She inhaled deeply, spreading her fingers out over the top of her ratty jeans. “_ But, _we can do a DNA test. Definitely. I want real, tangible proof just as much as you do.”

Westminster Hospital---so that’s why her voice sounded weird. It wasn’t a full-blown British accent, but her tone had a distinct note of snobbery. No wonder Ben was so taken with her. Two pretentious peas in a pod. 

“So...there _ is _ no proof. Not yet.” Kylo turned a cold eye on his brother. “But you, Han...even Leia...you’re all buying into this.” 

His lip curled with a huff as he turned on his heel, but before he left, he had to hurl one more insult at his twin. “You know what, I get it. I’d probably be this gullible if it meant I got to replace _ you _.”

* * *

_Bastard. _Ben fumed as his brother stormed off, far too quickly for him to make any halfway-decent comeback. It truly amazed him how Kylo could make anything, even_ this, _about himself. Like the whole family just went out shopping for a new sister. Ben didn’t need a replacement sibling--he would’ve been thrilled to wake up one day as an only child. Alas, his mother really _was_ generous to a fault, and refused to kick Kylo out no matter how many times he fucked up, no matter how much misery he caused...

“I’m… really sorry about that,” Ben muttered to Rey, just before the wall adjoining her room to Kylo’s shook with the slam of a door and the screaming of electric guitars. Slayer, if Ben had to guess. 

“I’d say I hope Dad warned you about him, but since he didn’t exactly warn us about _ you _ , well…” He flinched as Han screamed, as if on cue, for Kylo to _ ‘turn that shit down or so help me--’ _

Ben screwed his eyes shut, took a breath, then attempted to speak over the muffled shouting. “D-Do you want to get out of here? Like go for a walk or something?” 

For a beat, Rey stood in silence, looking pensive. Maybe a bit sad, too? Or disgusted? He couldn’t really tell, but her shoulders did a little shimmy in what he assumed was her _ shaking it off _before she turned to him with a smile. 

“Yes, please. A walk sounds--” she was cut off mid-sentence by the music cranking up even louder, followed soon after by the sound of footsteps stomping up the stairs. 

Within moments, Han appeared in the doorway, red in the face from the combined exertion of hollering and climbing the stairs.

“So you’ve met my…less charming son,” he grouched, sparing a grimace toward the connecting door. 

“Uh, yeah,” Rey responded, awkwardly. 

“Just try to avoid him, honestly. That’s what I do-- when he’s not MAKING OUR EARS BLEED!” He tilted his head to yell at Kylo’s door, then looked back to them and sighed heavily.

“We were about to do just that,” Ben muttered. 

He put on a weak smile for Rey, tilted his chin towards the door in a silent motion for her to follow, and squeezed past his father into the hall. Once she caught up, he lead the way down the stairs. Leia was nowhere in sight--probably holed up in the master bedroom, sipping a Long Island and distracting herself with some political drama. 

“It’s a good neighborhood for walking, at least,” he said as he held the front door open for Rey. The breeze that floated in was cool and moist, fresh from the recent rains. Stuffing his hands in the pocket of his university hoodie, he walked slightly ahead of her down the sidewalk, glancing back every so often without saying anything. He felt he _ should _speak, but had no idea what to say. ‘Sorry my family sucks’? ‘Sorry if this is awkward, I didn’t think I’d be getting a new sister today’? Sorry, sorry, sorry…

“It’s beautiful here. Not very long ago, I would have believed you if you told me these houses were mansions,” she spoke up before he could spiral, a wry smile on her face as she studied each and every house they passed. 

“Beautiful on the outside, yeah…” 

Shit, did he say that out loud? He coughed as he walked on down a neighboring street, watching the sun sink over the horizon. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to stay after seeing...all of that. But if you do, I can trade rooms with you--just so you don’t have to be right next to _ him _.”

The last thing he wanted was to share a bathroom with his brother again, but he had to throw the offer out there, didn’t he? Who knew what kind of havoc his twin would wreak on someone he viewed as a rival? If Rey swapped places with him, she’d at least lower her chances of finding bleach in her shampoo bottle, or a threatening message scrawled on her mirror in red lipstick. 

“Oh-- no, don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with punks like him for as long as I can remember. I’m already taking advantage of your kindness as much as it is…” Worrying her bottom lip, she said, “Tomorrow I’ll talk to Han about the paternity test. Kylo was right; I could be scamming you without even knowing it…”

_ ‘Punks like him’. _ Ben couldn’t help but smile at how she took everything in stride. Most people who visited their house fled after five minutes and never came back, thanks to his brother--it was part of the reason why Ben didn’t have many friends. 

As they passed under the shadow of a flowering tree, his shoulders eased, and he slowed to a relaxed pace at Rey’s side. “You can’t call it a scam if it isn’t on purpose. If the results turn out negative, it’s just an honest mistake. No harm done.” 

She inclined her head, her shoulders lifting and dropping in a weak shrug. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but… I’d still feel horrible. It’s just-- I don’t know. I’ve wanted a real family my whole life.” She looked to the window of the closest house. “I used to look at houses like this and imagine everything perfect inside. And-- I don’t mean perfect like _ Stepford Wives _kind of perfect. Just… Real. A family that loves each other, even when they fight.”

Though he didn’t want her to feel horrible, he felt more at ease around her for the sheer reason she was _ capable _ of guilt, or shame. He couldn’t say that about anyone else in his family except his mother--for the most part. Even she had a tendency to justify her more selfish actions from time to time. 

“Well...we do love each other,” he said. “At least, I love my parents, and I think they love each other…” 

He couldn’t remember a time his father had ever showed overt affection to his mother, but returning home after a long separation had to mean something, right? 

“And Mom _ clearly _ loves my brother, otherwise he wouldn’t still be in the house, but...as you can tell, he doesn’t love any of us. He doesn’t even like his friends. Honestly, he’s a born psychopath.” His eyes set firmly on the ground as his jaw tightened. “But eventually, he’ll screw up so bad, they’ll _ have _ to kick him out. Then, maybe we’ll start to look more like a real family.” 

A sigh sounded next to him, and when he glanced over, her expression was pinched. 

“Yeah, maybe…” She looked like she wanted to say more, but she met his glance and quickly looked away. The air between them was a bit tense for a moment, but she rushed to clear it. 

“So, what do you do for fun?” she asked, her tone noticeably brighter. 

He let out a shaky laugh and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m a pretty boring guy, honestly… I mean, I go on walks… like this. Um. I read a lot. Mostly nonfiction. And uh… I haven’t done this in a while, but I used to go out on the roof and look at the stars. If I were better at math, I would’ve probably gone into astronomy...” 

His gaze shifted up to the sky for a long moment before he remembered his manners and turned back to Rey. “What about you?”

She shrugged her shoulders, a small smile appearing on the edges of her lips. “Oh, not much. I’m a pretty decent cook, whenever I can get my hands on fresh ingredients. I like treasure-hunting, or-- well, _ scavenging _ is what some of the other foster kids would call it. Camping is pretty fun; being in nature, surviving on the bare minimum, hanging out under the stars…” she trailed off as her eyes strayed toward the heavens, and her grin grew a little when she said, “So I guess we have that in common, huh? The stars part, at least.” 

His eyes lit up more with each point she made. He didn’t know what answer he expected, but he never would’ve assumed he and his half-sister would be so similar. After all, he shared 100% of his DNA with Kylo, and they had _ nothing _ in common. 

“I haven’t been camping since I was ten, but from what I can remember, I loved it. Can’t say the same for the rest of the family, though...” He almost suggested they camp out in the backyard one day, but caught himself just in time. Too soon. Way too soon.  
  
“Don’t tell anyone else you like cooking, or you’ll be the live-in chef,” he quickly added, flashing her a grin. “If it weren’t for take-out and TV dinners, we would’ve all starved ages ago.”

“Actually…” she started, perking up, “Maybe that’s how I can contribute. I don’t want to just mooch off you and your family while we’re waiting for the results of the DNA test.” She nodded her head, as if agreeing with herself. Turning to him with a grin, she raised a brow and commented, “Besides…I imagine you’re all a bit tired of TV dinners and take-out, right?”

He shook his head on instinct, lips parted to tell her a guest didn’t need to ‘contribute’--but then she made an excellent point. Sometimes, he got so sick of freeze-dried, sodium-saturated garbage, he skipped meals entirely. He hadn’t exactly been keeping track of his weight, but his clothes felt looser lately. 

“Don’t even try protesting, I can see the interest written all over your expression,” she said with a light chuckle. 

He hid a smile as their steps fell in sync, feet tapping the same rhythm against the sidewalk. “I can neither confirm nor deny that observation.”

“So we both like stargazing,then. We should make plans to… y’know… stargaze together. If you want,” she finished awkwardly.

If _ he _wanted?

It had been so long since he’d spent time with anyone who wasn’t his mess of a family, or other students who were only friendly to him inside the classroom when they had to cooperate to get the work done. ‘True friends’ hadn’t been around for him since high school. 

“Yeah, we could do that. We can climb up to the roof whenever you want.”

“Your mother lets you go on the roof?” she asked, her eyes wide. Before he could ask how old she thought he was, she added, “Sorry, I mean-- you’re an adult, so of course you can do what you want, but… I would have thought your mom would have something to say about it.”

A flush rose on her cheeks, and he waved her off with a wry smile. “Can’t have anything to say if she doesn’t know…” 

They circled back after reaching the end of the street. As his house--_ their _ house, he supposed--peeked through the trees, his sneakers dragged across the pavement. He parted his lips to ask Rey if she wanted to walk along a different road, but he couldn’t push himself to speak. She’d know he was making excuses. She’d already offered to spend time with him later, and he wasn’t about to mess that up by being so clingy up front. 

When they finally returned home, he called it a night, blaming an early class the next day. It wasn’t a total lie. Ten AM _ was _ kind of early. In any case, she probably wanted some time to breathe and adjust, and he needed time to process. 

For the first time in years, things around the Solo house were going to be different. If he was lucky, life might even be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Jessica here! Julia and I thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks! Once we posted the first chapter, we messaged each other to celebrate the wonderful response! We hope you enjoyed this chapter. We're planning to post on a weekly basis, so we can both keep up with the writing and editing. We hope that sounds good to you!


	3. Man in the Mirror

“I’m sorry, sweet bed, but you’ll have to wait a little longer.” 

Rey should’ve been embarrassed to talk to an inanimate object in such a way, but damn if that bed wasn’t about to become her new best friend. Hell, she probably wouldn’t mind getting sick if it meant that she got to lie in it all day. Not that she was likely to get sick. Growing up surrounded by other children in a dismal environment had gifted her with a fantastic immune system. At least one silver lining had come from that dark cloud.

Throwing her hair up into a single bun at the top of her head, she pulled her toothbrush and toothpaste from her bag, along with the rag she always used to wash her face, and made her way into the bathroom. Flipping on the light, she headed straight for the sink and leaned over to splash her face with cool water. 

Grabbing her towel, she dabbed the water from her face. When she raised her head and looked in the mirror, a pale face loomed over her shoulder. 

“Holy Fu-!” 

She whirled around, ready to fight back, when she realized it was only Kylo. He gazed down at her with grim amusement, head tilted and eyes gleaming. 

A hint of nervousness tinged her tone as she greeted him. “How uh– how long were you there? That was a pretty creepy move.”

“It’s my space you walked into. Not my fault you’re scared by my presence in it…” 

After the long, stressful day she’d just had, she wasn’t thrilled to be confronted by the less friendly of the two brothers. Especially when said brother was setting off major warning bells. Sneaking up on her at night, in the bathroom, looming over her shoulder… What kind of horror flick had she just stepped into?

“I see you’re pretty friendly with my brother,” Kylo drawled, lips twitching in the faintest hint of a grimace. “He trusts people easily–too easily, sometimes.” 

He shifted closer and closer as he spoke, until he had her cornered against the sink. He loomed over her, doing his best to intimidate her, but Rey wasn’t the type to be cowed. She held his gaze, hands gripping the edge of the sink.

Why was he so territorial over a family he obviously didn’t have any love for? Maybe it was pride, or ego. Whatever it was, it wasn’t her problem. 

“This isn’t my first turf war, you know,” she said, dipping her chin as she glared up at him.

“Ooh, what did you fight over before?” he sneered. “Who gets to beg at which street corner?” 

That stung, but she didn’t give him the satisfaction of letting it show. She hadn’t just scrapped for corners to beg, but places to sleep and food from the shelters. This privileged, narcissistic _ boy _ had no idea what the real world was like. 

“Your brother actually spoke with me, rather than mistrusted and accused me from the very first second. So sorry if you’re feeling left out, but you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”

“My brother is an idiot,” he seethed, pressing closer. She winced, slightly, as the marble counter dug into her lower back. “If his little act isn’t because he desperately wants another sibling, then it’s because he knows damn well you _ aren’t _ our sibling. He’ll swoon over any pretty girl that talks to him. And as for my feeling ‘left out’? Please. I know my place in this family. Do you?”

She held her head high and kept her tone even. “I know I’ll find out real soon. As soon as Han and I take the DNA test. Then you’ll either have to deal with me, or you’ll be rid of me forever. I guess you’re hoping for the latter?”

“Obviously. We have enough problems here without adding you to the mix.” His eyes narrowed as he paused. “When, exactly, are you expecting to take the test?”

“As soon as possible. Tomorrow, even,” she said. All she had was that gut feeling, but that was enough for her. She knew that she was Han’s daughter, deep in her gut, but she wanted real, irrefutable proof.

If only to shove it back in Kylo’s smug face.

“I hope you realize there’s no way you can get a DNA test done by tomorrow. That shit takes a month if you’re lucky,” he scoffed, and the color drained from her face.

_ A month? _ She desperately hoped he was lying, that this question wouldn’t hang over their heads for that long. 

She’d talk to Han tomorrow. Do some research. But right now, she needed to get out of this bathroom and put a locked door between her and Kylo.

“This is a discussion I’ll be having with Han, then. We’ll get the test and I’ll prove that I’m meant to be here. I’m excited for that day to come.” Digging her shoulder into his, she ignored the intimate brush of his body as she shoved past him.

“Good to know you’re so_ excited _to be around me,” he muttered under his breath. “It’ll be a real fucking joy, seeing all the problems you’ll cause…” 

She kept her mouth sealed shut until she reached the threshold of her room. With one hand on the handle, she glared at him and let the thought that’d been niggling in the back of her mind slip, “I’m sure you have enough problems. I wouldn’t want the fact that you think I’m pretty to be another one.”

Though it would have been satisfying to savor the look on his face, she knew better than to leave the door open much longer. Slamming it shut, she turned the lock and went to bed.

* * *

The next morning, Leia and Han left early for work. For Leia, this was fairly typical, but for Han… it seemed he was avoiding the chaos at home. At least, that was how Kylo read it. He trudged downstairs to find his brother trying to cook only god-knew-what in the kitchen. 

“Since when did you become Martha Stewart?” he snarked, lurking by the stove while giving Ben major side-eye. 

“I thought it’d be nice if I made breakfast for Rey… and you, if you’re nice… not that I expect you to be,” Ben muttered as he struggled to flip a pancake--or maybe a crepe? It was impossible to tell. 

“That _ would _ be nice, except you can’t cook for shit.”

“Neither can you,” Ben snapped, then sighed, trying to smooth the edges of his concoction with a spatula. “I’m following a recipe, it can’t be that hard…”

“Then why do I smell smoke?”

“As much as I don’t like agreeing with Kylo, I smell something burning, too,” a voice piped up from the stairway.

When Kylo turned, he found Rey trailing down to join them. Brow raised as she agreed with him, he shot a smug look to Ben, then followed Rey with his eyes, ranking over her form. She was wearing a ratty t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts, leaving her legs on full display.

She refused to meet his gaze. Was that because she despised him, or because he made her uncomfortable? Either way worked, but he hoped for the latter. It’d drive her out of here sooner. 

She went to Ben’s side, peering around him and into the pan. 

“Oh, that’s uh-- Hm.” She chuckled and plucked the pan off the stove, turning to the trash and dumping it. “Here, let me help.” 

Both brothers stood back in surprised silence as she took over; washing out the pan and scraping the burnt bits, then searching around the fridge until she found what she was looking for. 

Extracting eggs, green onion, mushrooms, and cheddar cheese, she turned to Ben.

“How about an omelette?” she asked. When he nodded, she turned to Kylo. “You want one too?” 

He blinked, unsure if he heard her right. Was this a trick question? Why was she being so nice?

“Sure, if you’re offering…” he finally said. He’d have to watch her closely while she cooked, make sure she didn’t sneak in a dash of arsenic. 

“Oh, you don’t have to actually cook for us, I can do it…” Ben protested, because _ of course _ he couldn’t just accept any kind gesture with a simple ‘thank you’. 

“Yes, she does, if we don’t want to die from your awful cooking,” Kylo deadpanned as he padded to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup. “At least she’s useful for something…”

He caught Rey’s glare in the corner of his eye before she announced, “Well, looks like someone’s not getting any mushrooms or cheese in their omelette.”

“Why? It was a compliment!” 

She just scoffed.

Rolling his eyes at his ‘punishment’, Kylo skulked to the kitchen table with his mug. Their mother had left a newspaper there, opened to the political section where her face was printed. He grumbled and flipped through page after page until he got to an article on local crime.

Ben, meanwhile, was enough of a hovering nuisance that Rey offered him the job of monitoring the omelettes while she started on pancakes.

“Oh, flip that now. It’s perfect after just one more minute on the other side.”

Kylo only half-read his article, keeping an ear out for the exchanges between Ben and Rey in the kitchen. Their conversation was nauseatingly pleasant, and they spoke with far too much ease for near-strangers, but nothing they said or did was too damning--so far. That might change with a little _ push _. 

Plates of food soon appeared on the table, and as promised, Rey slid a completely plain omelette in front of him. He might have complained if it weren’t the first home-cooked breakfast he had had in forever. 

As it was, he made a strict mental effort to not let on how delicious it tasted--especially when his brother was so absurdly vocal with his praise. Ben had, of course, taken the seat furthest away from him and less than a foot away from Rey.

“I really did want to make this for you myself, but--_ mm _\--it wouldn’t have been half this good,” Ben said between bites, leaning in closer to Rey with utter adoration in his eyes.

At this point, Kylo wouldn’t be surprised if Ben actually kissed her on the cheek and said ‘Thanks, honey’. 

Kylo felt the muscle under his eye jump as Rey smiled back at Ben around a forkful of eggs. 

“You’re not that bad yourself. You actually may have some potential.”

Ben let out a breathy laugh at her compliment, and held her gaze for _ far _too long. “Glad you don’t think I’m a complete lost cause…”

“Aw, you two are such a cute couple,” Kylo cooed, plastering on a fake grin as he rested his chin in his hand. “Really, it’s like a Hallmark movie.”

Ben recoiled as if he’d been slapped, and Rey’s eyes dropped to her plate. Kylo took a slow sip of coffee and smirked. He expected Ben, at least, to fling an insult at him, but no one bothered with a counter-attack. 

_ Why so silent, hm? _ He thought, glancing between them as Rey shoveled down her food. _ Why the guilty faces? _

“I’ll take care of the dishes,” she said after finishing her meal in record time, and he gladly held out his plate. Ben, meanwhile, rose from his seat and headed towards his room without a word.

_ That’s it, go on and sulk... _

As soon as his twin was out of sight, Kylo sprung from his seat, slinking towards Rey as she started on the dishes. His lips almost brushed her ear as he pressed in behind her. 

“Thanks for the food, _ sis… _”

Like the night before, he only aimed to unnerve her as much as possible, to torment her until she had no choice but to run. All he expected to feel in return was smugness. The same, bitter satisfaction he got from crawling under _ anyone’s _ skin. But the rush of blood flowing through his veins felt hotter this time. This time, he noticed the citrus-sweet scent of her hair, the curve of her hips, the shakiness of her breath...

“I’m pretty sure you realize how inappropriate this is,” Rey said, tone pointed. When he peered over her tensed shoulder, he found her gripping the edge of the sink so tightly her knuckles went white.

“That’s how things work in this family now, right? Uncomfortable intimacy between ‘siblings’?” he hissed, still close to her ear as he pressed her even tighter against the sink. The disgust in his tone was intentional, to call out her scam and Ben’s _ questionable _ response to it, but something even darker slipped out. His words were far more breathless than they should’ve been. Not so controlled. He swallowed, but rather than shoving down his feelings, he decided to use them to his advantage. 

“If you and Ben can be close, why can’t we?” 

Again, it wasn’t like they were _ actual _siblings. At worst, Rey was nothing but a liar, and at best, she’d just tracked down the wrong Han Solo. They’d all find that out soon enough. Before then, Kylo had a whole month to toy with her. 

His senses ran wild with how he had her at his mercy, her lean little body pinned so tightly against his. Not that he’d ever admit it, but this was the closest he’d ever gotten to a woman. The pressure alone was enough to make him ache for release. God, he could only imagine what it would be like to fuck her right here against this counter, punishing her for lying, making her _ scream _ the truth for him…. 

He was yanked back into reality when Rey finally fired back. “You _ know _ nothing like that is happening – we’re _ friends _.”

“Sure, ‘friends’...” He let out a low chuckle. “I know my brother better than you do.” 

Not a single soul under the sun had pure intentions. Least of all his saintly twin. Ben only wanted one thing from Rey, just like Kylo did… he was just more subtle about it. Maybe he’d even fooled himself into thinking he _ cared _ about her. Prudish moron. 

Despite his mad fantasies, Kylo wasn’t so delusional as to think this moment would lead to any major victory-–it’d take one hell of a mating dance to seduce a girl who hated him with every fiber of her being. 

His thoughts were confirmed when he caught her hand flying for the pullout faucet. He was faster, though, snatching her wrist before she could spray him in the face.

“Nice try…” 

Though he’d already pushed his luck further than was reasonable, he was tempted to go for more, to see how much she was willing to take before she’d scream for Ben. She could’ve done so already--and yet, she hadn’t. All she did was let out a soft whimper that could mean anything from pain to to fear to pleasure. Did some part of her actually enjoy this? Or was that just wishful thinking? 

“Get...off me…” Her command came out as barely more than shaky whisper as she trembled against him. With rage or fear, he didn’t know… but he’d made his point. His work here was done. 

“I hope every time you’re with him, you’ll be reminded of me.” His grip around her wrist slowly loosened before he jerked away, flinging one last thought for her to chew on as he trudged for the stairs. “He and I aren’t as different as you’d think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! Jessica here! As always, Julia and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We look forward to your comments. They make us so happy!
> 
> Also, Julia made a playlist for this story on Spotify. [Check it out!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QQPRBDYisCdvuM3dlfZo1?si=itQqQP4fTqyamBWAkOiWpA)


	4. Stay

Rey waited until she heard Kylo’s door shut before she expelled the breath she’d been holding. Her hands were still trembling, so she steadied them by grabbing the edge of the counter. 

_ Inhale… Exhale…  _ She breathed deeply in through her nose, out through her mouth. Eyes closed, she focused on calming her racing heartbeat. Only when she felt less rattled did she slowly step away from the sink.

She looked down to her stomach, feeling a sting, and lifted up her shirt just slightly. As she expected, she saw an angry red indent from where the countertop had dug into the softness of her belly.

She lowered her shirt, casting her eyes around the kitchen. Her body wasn’t willing to move yet. Her mind was racing. If it wasn’t clear before, then it was certainly clear now; she needed to do everything in her power to avoid being caught alone with Kylo again. She should have figured that out last night, true, but him cornering her in the bathroom had been about territorial posturing; she had more than enough experience with that.

What just happened, though… It was different.  _ Much  _ different. He had touched her; molded the length of his body against hers and  _ trapped _ her. She’d felt him, too; his burning excitement stiff against her tailbone. The sick bastard had gotten  _ aroused  _ toying with her.

Shuddering, she decided the safest place she’d be was in a room he couldn’t get into. Tiptoeing back upstairs, she retreated into the guest bedroom — her bedroom — and locked the door behind her. She sat down on the bed for a moment, eyes trained on a small smudge in the paint, then finally laid down. Throwing her arm over her eyes, to shield against the light that filtered into the room between the sheer curtains, she continued to take deep, calming breaths.

About an hour later, she heard Kylo’s bedroom door open. Sitting up, back straight as a board, she glanced to the door to make sure her lock was turned even though she vividly recalled turning it into place. 

Though there was no need, because rather than coming towards her room, the thumping of his feet marked his descent down the stairs. Holding her breath, listening closely, she breathed a sigh of relief when the front door opened and slammed shut. Not long after, she heard Ben depart; presumably off to his classes.

Not wanting to be cooped up in the room stewing in her own thoughts for a second more, she leapt out of bed and padded downstairs. She didn’t know how to use the remote to navigate the television (it looked much more sophisticated than what she was used to), so she picked out one of the books from the shelf in the living room (presumably Leia’s) and read to get her mind off of the morning.

It ended up being quite an interesting story, enough that she happily wasted several hours curled up on the couch, taking up as little space as possible even though there was no one around to want a seat. She didn’t feel entirely comfortable in their home yet. 

It was flattering, if not a bit concerning, that they trusted her enough to leave her alone at all. Unless... it was a test. If she were a thief, this would be her opportunity to steal whatever she could and vanish without a trace. But she wasn’t a thief, and moreover she was afraid that anything she did might incriminate her. So she ignored the note left behind by Leia that invited her to help herself to anything in the fridge or from the pantry, not wanting to be accused of taking more than they were willing to give. She was hungry, sure, but that was a feeling she was used to.

When Leia came home to find Rey dozing on the couch, book resting against her chest, she’d smiled and gently woken the young girl up with a pat on the shoulder. Rey had been embarrassed at first, but Leia had been kind and reassuring. They’d slipped into an easy conversation when Rey asked how Leia’s work had been and the woman had jumped into a tirade about incompitent interns and entitled bureaucrats. The chatter went on for a while, until Han arrived home with Ben trailing not far behind.

Kylo was still AWOL, which suited Rey just fine. She didn’t need his running commentary ruining the delicate conversation she was working up the courage to attempt. 

“Could we chat for a minute, maybe?” she quickly asked when Han announced that he was going to work on his project in the garage. 

“Of course, dear,” Leia responded, stopping her path toward her room for a lavender bath. She came back over, but still kept her distance from her husband. She may be warming up to Rey, but Han was still in the doghouse. 

Ben lingered close by, looking uncertain as to whether he should be included. Rey glanced over to him with a smile, and his shoulders relaxed. He stepped closer, putting himself between his parents and crossing his arms. 

“I’ve explained to Han that I found my birth certificate online, in the archives of the hospital I was born in back in England. His name was on it, but I want to be absolutely certain that I’m not mistaken. So, I think we should do a DNA test.”

Han and Leia both exchanged looks that Rey could not decipher, and so she felt compelled to explain, “I just don’t want to take advantage of your kindness, even accidentally.” She met Ben’s eyes, and he offered her a kind smile.

Han seemed to think over her words before slowly nodding. “That’s… probably a good idea. I mean, I believe you, kid. I do remember your mother. But just in case she was wrong, and there could’ve been someone else….” He trailed off there, clearly not wanting to end up saying something stupid. “I’ll figure out how to set that up for us. You don’t worry about a thing. Just… make yourself at home.”

Leia nodded, agreeing, “We’ll have it done quickly, so don’t worry about taking advantage or any other nonsense like that.” She waved a hand, as if she found the notion absolutely ridiculous.

“Well, that’s another thing,” Rey started, swallowing dryly, “It’s going to take a while for the test results to come back-- a month, probably, and I can’t impose on your family for that long without knowing for sure. I just… Can’t.”

_ Scam artist, moocher, charity case, freeloader…  _ She didn’t want them to think of her as any of those things. If the results came back negative… She didn’t want to imagine the triumphant expression that would paint Kylo’s face, and what they all may think of her.

Han gave a shrug and a heavy sigh. “Well, I’m not going to  _ make _ you, but you’re welcome to stay–” Glancing over towards Leia, he quickly added, “As long as it’s alright with everyone else, I mean….”

Seemingly satisfied that he at least considered her opinion this time, Leia gave a curt nod to her husband and turned with a smile to Rey. “It’s alright with me. It’s nice to have another woman around for once in this place.”

After the other two had spoken, Ben was quick to jump in, quietly saying, “I’d love it if you stayed.”

Rey blinked, not expecting the generosity they offered and not knowing how to respond. Part of her wrestled to insist that she should go, but part of her really,  _ really  _ wanted to stay. 

Because these people… They already felt like family.

Before one side of her warring mind could win, the door to the house slammed open and everyone turned just in time to see Kylo saunter inside.

“Well, well. Another gathering about our house guest?” he asked flippantly, earning a glare from Ben.

“She’s staying here another month until the test results come back. Don’t bother protesting, you’re overruled,” Ben snapped, taking Rey -- and probably Han and Leia, too -- by surprise.

“Wasn’t going to protest…” Kylo threw his hands up in defense, then looked pointedly at Rey. “We’ve already had so much _ fun _ together… can’t wait for more.”

She felt heat crawl up her neck, but she didn’t give him the satisfaction of her expression changing from anything but passive. Turning back to Han, Leia, and Ben, she said, “I’m really, truly grateful. Thank you. And I want to help out. However I can.”

“From what Ben says, you’ve already helped out,” Han said with a wry smile. “I’d judge them for not knowing how to cook, but honestly, if I knew how to do anything myself I would’ve taught them. And Leia here barely knows how to boil water–”

Leia shot him a look, but shrugged in silent admission, glancing back towards Rey. “I think he’s hoping you can help us break our steady diet of frozen food and take-out…”

There was the sound of a scoff from somewhere in the direction Rey knew Kylo was standing, but she didn’t bother looking at him. Instead, she smiled even more widely at Han and Leia.

“I’m happy to help out in that area, for sure. But you shouldn’t count Ben out too soon. He managed the last omelette at breakfast by himself and it turned out pretty good.” She shot him a wink, and he rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his sheepish grin.

Han raised a brow at his son. “Not bad, kid.”

Leia also seemed pleasantly surprised, going as far as to say, “That’s great, Ben. Maybe you could learn even more from Rey.”

“I’d love to teach him,” Rey said, flashing Ben a crooked smile. Whether or not he actually had any desire to learn how to cook with her, it was her own little way of getting payback for him speaking up that she would be staying with them. Which she would have done, anyway… But still. 

He raised a brow, but nodded after a pause. “Yeah, I’d...I’d like that.” 

“Well then,” Leia started, looking to her husband. “It’s been a long day and I think I’m entitled to a long, luxurious bubble bath.” 

She offered Rey another warm smile. “We’re so glad to have you with us -- really.” 

Suddenly finding herself fighting past a lump in her throat, she bit her bottom lip, nodded and, with a wavering smile said, “Thank you, Leia.”

Their gazes held for a moment, Leia’s eyes kind, then she headed to the master bedroom. About halfway there, she paused, recalling something. Over her shoulder, she said, “Oh, and Rey, please don’t worry about dinner tonight. I’ll make sure the fridge is stocked up by tomorrow, okay?”

“You’d think she was starving instead of eating lunches at five-star restaurants everyday,” Han guffawed. He recoiled slightly under the withering stare his comment earned from his wife, before she finished making her way into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

“I think I’m going to get myself a stiff drink,” Han muttered. He glanced between Rey and Ben. “You’re both good kids. I’m grateful for that,” he said. He stood up, and stretched a bit, his back making an unpleasant popping sound and he let out a groan. He walked towards the liquor cabinet, rubbing at a sore spot.

Rey looked over to Ben. There was a soft look in her eyes, one that spoke volumes about how happy he was. Despite the black sheep, Rey already knew that she couldn’t have hoped to find a better family to try and become a part of. She just prayed that things would go more smoothly from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Jessa here! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry if it felt a little slow-paced, but we have a wild chapter for you next week! ;)


	5. Seeing Double

The next few weeks passed without incident. Han and Leia usually left for work before dawn, and a little while later, Ben would softly knock on Rey’s door to ask if she wanted to help with breakfast (which she always did). She endured Kylo’s presence throughout the morning and carefully waited to do the dishes with Ben. When he headed off to school, she locked herself in her room until Kylo left for practice--or whatever it was he did during the day. Ben would return several hours later, followed by Han and Leia, and then Kylo just as they were settling down to eat.

Though Rey enjoyed their routine, all those empty afternoon hours left her restless. With Leia’s permission, she borrowed the office computer and sent out a number of job applications. Today she’d be interviewing, so she’d used the rest of the money she had to buy a nice pair of trousers and a blouse (on heavy discount) at the local shopping center.

Ben had apologized before he left for school that day, saying wouldn’t be able to help with dinner (unfortunate, as he’d become her champion vegetable mincer). He cited a long school day as well as a group project meeting. Having a long day ahead herself, Rey reassured him it wasn’t a problem. 

After breakfast, she quickly got dressed for her interviews, applied a little lip gloss, and thanked Ben for offering to drive her into town. She waved at him as he sped away, hoping she hadn’t made him late for class. After that, it was off to her various interviews.

By the time she left her final destination, a local coffee shop, she was cautiously optimistic. She’d gone through four interviews so far, none of which had been ideal. But  _ Jakku Java _ said they’d get back to her, and the manager had been friendly enough... 

She was lost in her own world outside the cafe, staring off into space with her complimentary latte when a familiar voice sounded from behind. 

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Spinning in her seat, she beamed to find Ben leaning over her shoulder. 

“Fancy seeing you here, too,” she greeted with a little laugh. What was he doing here? Didn’t he say he was going to be busy until later tonight?

“My group meeting got cancelled so I’m out early,” he said, seeming to read her mind. “How have the interviews been going?”

She stood and gave a noncommittal shrug. 

“Not too bad. I’m finally done for the day.” Her nails tapped against her cup as she glanced down the street. “Do you want to take a walk? I read the park in the city center is beautiful. Have you been to it before?”

He followed her gaze with a nod, lips curved in a faint smile. “That’d be nice, yeah. I uh…I don’t think I’ve been there before, no.”

Good. She’d worried that if Ben had already been to the park, he wouldn’t be interested. But when had he ever said no to her? 

She mulled over that thought as they started down the sidewalk, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. They’d grown pretty close over the past few weeks, and he rarely denied her anything. Walks, movies, recipes… she never thought anyone would ever dote on her so much. Or at all.

They walked in easy silence towards the city center, taking in the fresh air and flowering wisteria, before Ben cleared his throat. 

“The results are coming back any day now, aren’t they?”

“I hope so,” she sighed. “I get excited every time I see the mailman, and then it’s still not there. And it’s a whole day I have to wait again. It’s– frustrating. I just want to know, y’know? For absolute certain.”

After a pause, she glanced back at him with a cheeky grin. 

“Han’s itching to get the results, too. Every time he walks through the door, he’s got this excited look on his face...” 

Ben pursed his lips and nodded. “Oh, I bet…” 

Something in his tone sounded a bit...off. Before she could think on it too long, he cleared his throat. “We’re all pretty anxious to find out for sure. But I really think it’s going to be positive. We just get along too well, you know?”

She chuckled, wrinkling her nose. “You and your brother don’t get along at all, so I’m not sure if that’s what determines if we’re related.” 

“Hm, true...we have the exact same DNA, and all we have to show for it is the resemblance…” He bit his lip, eyes downcast. “What are you going to do if it’s negative? I’d really hate it if you just…disappeared.”

Her gaze dropped to the sidewalk as they passed under the arched park entrance. “I’d like to think we could still keep in touch. Continue to be friends. But…but if it’s negative, I’d have to find somewhere else to live. There’s really no way around it.” 

“I’d like to be friends,” he murmured, expression bittersweet. “But I’d miss having you around at home.”

A small blush stained her cheeks. “I’d miss having you around, too.”

He’d become such a constant in her life. They worked well together, often times falling into sync as they cooked or walked in the forest behind the house. He had given her more affection in a few weeks than she’d had her entire life, and she hated the thought of losing that. 

But like she’d told him, there really was no way around it.

They walked in silence for a moment. Then, in a measured tone, Ben asked, “Kylo hasn’t been too bad to you, has he? When I’m not there, I mean.”

She bit her lip as she was taken back to the first couple of days, when Kylo had cornered her. A part of her wanted desperately to tell Ben, but another part worried that if she did, he’d confront Kylo -- and it wouldn’t be pretty. 

She didn’t want to worry Ben. Nor did she need to, because she’d been on her guard. She’d successfully avoided being left alone with his brother. She’d locked her door, and looked around the bathroom every which way before stepping fully inside. 

She could handle herself. 

Shaking her head, she finally answered, “No, nothing. He always leaves soon after breakfast, pretty much right after you leave for school.”

“Oh okay...good. Maybe he’s getting used to you.”

_ Or maybe I’ve just been avoiding him at all costs, waiting until you or your parents are around so he can’t try anything,  _ Rey thought, a bitter taste on her tongue. She highly doubted that Kylo was ‘getting used to her’. Was he biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to attack? Maybe he was waiting for the test results to determine if and when to strike next. 

Ben lead them to a lakeside bench in the middle of the park, and she sat down with a smile, happy to take a moment to stop and watch the ducks as they glided through the sparkling water. Ben’s leg pressed against hers as he squeezed in beside her. 

She noticed their proximity, but it didn’t phase her. He wasn’t the most agile person she had ever met– he was actually a little awkward most of the time. The amount of times that they’d bumped or brushed together while in the kitchen was uncountable. One time, he’d even let her rest her head on his arm while stargazing, since the roof wasn’t too comfortable. Innocent gestures. Little accidents. This wasn’t any different.

“I’m glad you brought me here,” he murmured. “It’s really beautiful.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty today,” she hummed in agreement. 

When she glanced to him though, she found him staring not at the lake or the trees, but at her. Her heartbeat spiked and her gut clenched. There was something his eyes that she’d never seen before– something she didn’t quite recognize. She smiled, a bit awkwardly, and broke eye contact. 

He turned ever so slightly to face her. “You know, you’re the only person I don’t get tired of. I mean, I love my family and everything, but they drain me…”

"Well, I'll be family too, soon enough. Y'know, officially," she reminded him, her smile faltering a little. Of all people, she would have expected Ben to think of her as family already. Had she been wrong?

“Right, right...it’s just...you feel like more than family to me. With them, all I share is a last name, but with you...” His eyes flitted over her before he looked away with a breathy laugh. “I’m just not used to getting along with a sibling. Or actually...connecting with someone.”

More than family? What...even was that? Her brain floundered, trying to figure him out. She wasn't sure if what he was saying was a good or bad thing. But then he mentioned his sibling, and she thought maybe she understood. 

"So you and Kylo...you never had a connection? I guess I always believed the stereotype; that twins were basically joined at the hip."

He snorted and shook his head. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he and I are about as different as it gets. If he didn’t look like me, I’d think he was adopted.”

"Well, yeah, that's true. So there was never a time you got along?"

His gaze turned upwards as he hummed, seeming to think it over for only about half a second before giving his flat response. “Nope. Never.”

Her brows rose. "Wow, really? That's...sad, isn't it?'

“I wouldn’t call it so much sad as extremely annoying… I would’ve been much happier as an only child. But it would’ve been harder to stand out or feel accomplished without having him there for comparison.”

That was a surprisingly bitter comment. She blinked, wondering if something had happened at school to make him crabby. “But you stand out fine on your own, anyway. You’re getting a PhD. That’s already mind blowing, isn’t it?” 

“No, no, that’s the thing—if I were an only child, I would have to work twice as hard to get half the praise. With him there, I look like Elon Musk just for avoiding juvie. Our parents are so busy screaming at him, I can basically do whatever I want so long as I’m quiet about it… It’s pretty great, actually.”

Her brows only furrowed further. “And have you, then? Always done whatever you want?”

“I mean, nothing half as crazy as what  _ he _ does...but a beer might’ve gone missing from time to time when we were teenagers. You can guess which one Dad blamed.”

“Just a beer? Really?” she laughed. “Such a rebel.”

“Hey, underage drinking is pretty hardcore by my standards,” he said with a sheepish smile. “Being a rebel is Kylo’s job, not mine...”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Looking out over the lake, she sighed. “I’ve just— well, you witness some pretty bad stuff when you’re in the system. Kids get hooked on hardcore drugs when they thirteen years old, and they’re dead by fifteen. It’s— not fun to see.”

His expression fell in an instant and he coughed, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Yeah, that’s...that’s rough.“ He went silent for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “But I’m glad you were smart enough to avoid going down the same path.”

She rubbed at the back of her hand with her thumb, eyes trained on the shifting water. 

"Not completely." Making sure he didn't get the wrong idea, she quickly said, "I'm completely clean now. Could take a drug test and pass with flying colors, but...when I first got to California, and I was put with  _ him _ , in that junkyard, I... I needed to get away. I couldn't run away, so I found a way to use."

His eyes widened and he stiffened. “You...you’re serious? What did you use?”

She glanced over, taking stock of his expression. Shit. She shouldn't have told him. Now he would think-- well, he would think she was like his brother. "It-- It was a long time ago. I shouldn't have mentioned it. Please-- please don't think worse of me."

“No, no, I don’t think worse of you at all, I completely understand,” he blurted out, then winced. “I mean, I obviously don’t understand what it’s like to be in the system, I just...I get wanting to escape. Not having anywhere else to go, searching for anything to make the pain go away...”

A sigh of relief escaped her with his assurances. She swallowed, thickly, berating herself. How could she have been so careless? If Kylo ever knew... God, she didn't even want to think about how quickly he would probably go running to Han and Leia, telling them that she was a drug addict and she needed to be kicked out. 

Inhaling shakily, she said, "It didn't last long. Maybe a semester or two. I just...if you had met the man I'd been placed with..."

His jaw rolled as several emotions passed over his face, too quickly for Rey to keep track. 

“Is he still alive? Does he live in this state? I could send Kylo to kick his ass or blow up his car—I wouldn’t even have to pay him, he’d just do it for kicks.”

"Woah, there, Ben!" Rey found herself laughing, holding up her hands in mock-defense. "I appreciate it, but I've worked hard to put it -- and him -- far behind me."

“Okay...but if you change your mind, or think of anyone else who deserves a beating, just...let me know. Or better yet, tell Kylo, skip the middle man--” 

Reaching out, she placed her hand on his arm, smiling up at him warmly. "Thank you for your concern. It--it's not something I'm used to, but it's really nice."

He glanced down to her hand, a wide grin split his features for a half-second before taming itself into a soft, crooked smile. “Yeah, I...I’m not used to this, either...it’s nice to have someone worth fighting for.”

She grinned back at him, a flush staining her cheeks. "Well, I'm glad we have each other."

His eyes shifted around before fixating on her reddening cheeks… or was it her lips? “Me too...”

Dropping her hand, she returned to the point he’d made before. "Anyway...I don't think Kylo is going to want to fight anyone for  _ me _ , the person intruding in on his family.”

“Eh...he doesn’t need a reason to fight someone. If nothing else, he’d say no one but him gets to torment you.” 

"Isn't that sweet?" she grumbled with a slight huff, and he let out a low chuckle. Her annoyance quickly faded when she caught his eyes again. The way he was looking at her, with such warmth in his eyes, it made her want to melt. But...she shouldn't be feeling that way, right? Or was this how siblings who actually got along felt? She didn't know, but for whatever reason her heart was beating a bit faster in her chest. 

"Did you ever imagine having a little sister?" she asked, genuinely curious.

His brow furrowed and he gave a weak shrug. “I think I used to wonder what it’d be like to have another sibling in general. A nicer brother, or a sister. I didn’t really give it much thought though...didn’t exactly expect one to show up.”

"Well...Surprise!" she cheered with a little laugh.

“What about you? Did you ever think about having a brother?”

She considered his question for a moment. "Yeah, I suppose. I mean, sometimes I had brothers and sisters at the homes I was placed in. But I always imagined having a real family. A mom, a dad, a sister, and a brother that I shared blood with. Though, I'll admit, I was never creative enough to imagine _ twin _ brothers."

Again he smiled, but it was tighter this time, and didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Well, you got almost everything you wanted....Sorry you got Kylo instead of a sister. I feel your pain.”

"Your kindness makes up for it in spades. And who knows? Maybe when the test results come back, and Kylo is forced to accept that I really am part of this family, maybe he'll...I don't know...come around? A little?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, and he went silent for a long moment before shaking his head. “He’d still think it was fake. But if he believed it...he’d at least prefer you over me.”

She rolled her eyes, scoffing, "Of course he'd think that... How could I fake a bloody cheek swab?" 

“Use the swab on my toothbrush or Kylo’s, swab one of us in our sleep, I don’t know,” he muttered, then barked out a laugh. “Ridiculous, of course...” 

She huffed, forced to accept the fact that she’d likely never win. "Well, I'd still prefer you over him."

“Yeah...most people do,” he snorted. After a pause, he added, “Not to sound cocky or whatever, just...doesn’t take much with him. And I obviously prefer you, too.”

She had just started to feel a bit better, to relax, but once again his words had her feeling off...she was starting to wonder if that strange feeling in her gut was warning her of something after all.

"Hey, so uh...when did you want to go stargazing? We could look for... Oh, sorry, I'm blanking-- what's your favorite constellation again?" 

It was crazy, the suspicion that was growing in her mind; that Ben didn't seem to be...Ben. But that couldn't be possible, because if this wasn't Ben...

His lips pursed as he stared at her for a long second, then glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Any night would be good really, whenever you want...and it’s uh...Scorpio.”

"Really? I don't think that's what you told me it was last time," she stated, scooting just a little bit away from him. That ball of nervousness in her stomach quickly dissolved into dread, but no...it couldn't be.

“Yeah it was,” he insisted. “You don’t remember? Anyway, I have a lot of favorites...”

"I'm pretty sure you had one specific one that was your favorite. I think you even had a whole explanation behind it, didn't you?"

He glanced down at the space between them, swallowed, and shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t remember that...”

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. That dread morphed into full-on horror when he looked to her screen to see Ben’s name glaring back at her. 

_ No... No. No bloody way... _ She stared, dumbstruck. Tapping the 'Answer' button, she swallowed thickly, feeling numb as Ben's voice filtered in from the other line.

“Hey, looks like my group wanted to reschedule. Are you done with your interviews yet? Do you need me to pick you up?”

"You're group's rescheduled?" she asked, her pitch jumping a few octaves.

“Yeah...” Ben slowly confirmed, as if he wasn’t sure she could hear him. “So do you need me to pick you up or not?” 

Slowly, she turned to look into the eyes of-- of--

" _ Kylo _ .” 

His name wasn't a question when it left her lips. It was an  _ accusation _ . His face was bone white by the time she met his eyes. He stared blankly back at her, holding her gaze for two long seconds, before suddenly leaping from the bench. She gasped and bellowed after him. 

"GET BACK HERE!" 

How dare he? How fucking DARE he?! 

He knew. Oh god, he  _ knew. _ She didn't even think to hang up the phone (or give Ben an answer) before she bolted from the bench and perused Kylo like a cop on a felon.

“Did you say ‘Kylo’? Rey, what’s going on, are you—“ Ben‘s voice cut off on the other line as she tore through the park. 

Kylo shot down the sidewalk, then veered off through the bushes. She was right on his heels. He’d almost reached the gates when he glanced over his shoulder, face red and eyes wide.

People stopped and stared. Some children giggled and pointed, amused at the two full-grown adults running through the park, one in obvious pursuit of another.

"This isn't an episode of NCIS, you know!" some dudebro shouted, laughing along with his buddies.

Rey didn't hear them. She did see them. All she had eyes on right now was Kylo. And her intent was  _ murder _ .

Well, maybe not quite murder, but a good arse-whooping.

She had trouble gaining on him until he made the crucial mistake of flipping off the dudebro. The distraction slowed his steps just enough for her to gain the last little bit of distance she needed, and she  _ launched _ herself on top of him with a vicious roar. He faceplanted in the grass, sputtering breathless curses. 

“Get... _ off _ me!” He seethed, thrashing beneath her. 

"Not a chance in hell!" 

She might not have been as strong as him, but what she lacked in brute strength, she made up for in knowledge of how to distribute her weight and keep him pinned. When he flipped on his back, she grabbed his wrists to leverage his arms down with her upper weight, and placed her shins on his hip bones to keep his lower body pinned. 

"Where do you get off, you bleeding wanker?!" 

“On  _ you _ if you keep straddling me like that,” he sneered, eyes blown black as he bared his teeth. He kept struggling, but much more weakly than before, like he wasn’t really trying. “‘ _ Bleeding wanker’ _ , my, my, what would the Queen think of such foul language...”

“Shut the  _ hell _ up," she growled, digging her nails into his wrists for good measure. She may not be a killer, but that didn't mean she wouldn't  _ hurt _ him. "What's your angle? Pretend to be Ben, soak up everything I say and then go running to Mummy and Daddy?"

“You seriously think my grand plan is to  _ tattle _ ? You think  _ mummy _ would believe me even if I did?” His arms jerked as her nails nearly drew blood. “If I wanted dirt on you, I would’ve asked more questions...and I sure as fuck wouldn’t be so nice about it.”

“Then  _ why _ ?” She asked, pushing more of her weight onto his arms as she loomed over him. “Why would you do this? Pretend to be Ben?” 

Despite her desire  _ not _ to let him see more than anger, the smallest hint of hurt seeped into her voice.

He huffed and went limp, hair splaying over the grass as he surrendered. “I was just speeding up the inevitable....doing what he would’ve done anyway, given enough time. But you threw me off. I didn’t expect to... _ relate _ to you on anything...”

‘What he would have done anyway’? What the hell was that supposed to mean? What had Kylo’s plan been, then? She wanted to know, but his latter words threw her off completely. 

"Wait, what?" she asked, dumbstruck.

“Let’s just say I knew you had baggage, but nothing that hardcore. Or familiar.”

Her stomach churned at the word 'hardcore', her mind once again jumping to the fear that he would tell Han and Leia, and get them to turn on her. But then he said 'familiar', and she was thrown for a loop once again. 

"I...don't understand. Shouldn't you be jumping up and down with joy? You could threaten to blackmail me, you know..."

“One druggie blackmailing another one? To two  _ former _ druggies? Please.” He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Even if they took me seriously, you said you quit a long time ago, so it doesn’t matter. Unless you’re hiding oxy in your suitcase or something.”

"Wait,  _ what _ ?" she felt like she was repeating that line a bit too much, but it was the only way she could articulate her confusion. "You mean Han and Leia both...?" 

“Did you forget how to talk?” He snorted. “Yeah, they were real hippies. Coke, shrooms, LSD...they get on my ass about toking in the house, but Dad’s car still smells dank every now and then.”

"Oh...okay, then." So maybe she wouldn't have to fear judgement from Han and Leia. And maybe she wouldn't have to worry about Kylo blackmailing her, which lead her to her other question. "So then what were you trying to do? Before? You said something about pretending to be Ben do to...what? Something 'inevitable'?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” His gaze raked over her body, and his hips bucked and rolled beneath hers.

Her breath hitched, eyes widening as it dawned on her. She wanted to be revolted by the shifting of his hips, but all she felt was... _ warmth.  _ Tingling, molten warmth.

_ What the fuck? _

She scrambled off him as an engine roared nearby. "What the-- How  _ dare _ \-- you're-- you're disgusting!" 

His lips parted to say something, but before he could respond, Ben’s car screeched to a halt beside the park gates. 

“Oh no, Big Ben’s gonna be jealous...” Kylo taunted with a little snicker as his brother stormed their way. 

She swallowed thickly when she turned to look at him, feeling like she'd been caught doing something very wrong when, in reality, it was all Kylo. All his  _ bloody _ fault.

“What did he do?” Ben demanded as soon as he was within earshot, glaring down his brother with clenched fists. “Why the  _ fuck _ are you in my clothes?” 

“Trying out a new look,” Kylo deadpanned as he started to get up, only for Ben to force his chest back down with the toe of his shoe. It wasn’t a hard kick by any means, but Kylo pretended otherwise, flailing and crying out to anyone who would listen. 

“Help! Assault! They’re assaulting me! Isn’t anyone going to stop them?!”

"I'm pretty sure no one’s going to rescue a tree of a man from his doppelganger, or from a girl who’s a foot shorter than him," Rey huffed, placing her hands on her hips. She'd didn't answer Ben's initial question, but she didn't make a show of moving closer to him, either. She was...a little afraid, if she were honest. Afraid and...something else. Something unnamable.

“I don’t know these people! They’re mugging me! Call the cops already!” Kylo kept shrieking, until one distant onlooker took out his phone. Kylo’s eyes lit up, just before the man laughed and started to record him. “Oh, fuck you too!”

“Forget him,” Ben growled. “Let’s get out of here.”

"See you at home," she spat at Kylo, just as Ben took her by the arm and led her towards the car. 

She didn’t want to be with Kylo for even a second longer, but now that she thought about it, she wasn't too sure she wanted to be with Ben, either. For no reason other than she wasn't looking forward to his inevitable interrogation.

Ben walked faster as his brother shouted something else behind them. She struggled to keep up, just a bit, with his strides. Her legs ached from sprinting after Kylo, and her knees stung from tackling him.

Upon reaching the car, Ben yanked open the passenger door for her. 

“Lock it,” he said before getting in on the driver’s side. 

She did as Ben bid, sinking into the chair with a sigh. Her relaxation didn't last more than a second before Ben spoke.

“You never answered me. What did he do?” As he buckled in, he stared past her into the park. Kylo had already vanished from view. 

“He...pretended to be you.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.” 

He ground his jaw as he twisted the key in the ignition, and she flinched slightly at his tone. While she knew, logically, that he wasn't upset with her, she'd still grown so accustomed to his ever-present kindness and patience that the lack of it was...startling.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to snap,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Just…what did he  _ do _ while pretending to be me? Why were you on top of him?”

His apology made her feel a bit better. But what she didn't really want, though, was to answer his question. She'd handled herself just fine. She didn't want this to get any worse than it already was. 

"He just pretended to be you. Got me to open up a little. When you called, and I realized--I just...I don't know-- tackled him. I was so mad. All I could think of was to push him to the ground and make him talk."

He pulled out onto the road with more impatience than usual , fingers drumming against the wheel and eyes shifting every which way. 

“What do you mean ‘open up’? What did he say when you made him talk?”

She grit her teeth, plucking at the skin around her nails. "I told him...something I didn't want him to ever hear. But then, when I got him to talk, to tell me what the hell he was doing, he said that he related to me. That I had thrown him off his plan because he didn't expect to, y'know, think we might have anything in common, I guess."

“Something  _ he _ could relate to?” Ben narrowed his eyes, glancing at her every so often as he drove. “Something you would’ve told me? What was it?”

"Ben, that's...not really something I want to get into right now," she muttered, her voice quiet. How was she supposed to blurt out that she used to be addicted? But don't worry, she's completely fine now. She just had to escape her abusive foster father but, again, don't worry about it. Because it's all in the past but, well, the brother Ben hates now thinks he has a connection with her thanks to their mutual fucked-up-ness...

“I don’t see why not, you basically already told me,” Ben muttered, then corrected himself with another heavy sigh. “Sorry, sorry, you don’t have to say…it’s fine…I’m just really paranoid when it comes to Kylo. There’s a reason I have a tracking app on his phone.”

Her stomach clenched at his muttering. He wasn't  _ wrong _ , but...that conversation had come up organically, and she'd panicked when she'd thought that "Ben" was judging her, but now maybe the only reason he hadn't judged her was because he wasn't Ben and--the beginnings of a migraine pulsed behind her eyes. 

Thankfully, he saved her by assuring her she didn't have to say, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She did snort, though, at his revelation. 

"What, really? You seriously have a tracking app on his phone? That’s...kind of brilliant. And totally explains how the hell you found us."

“As soon as I heard you say his name, I figured I had to go wherever he was. I mainly got the tracking app for Mom’s peace of mind. Kylo likes to go ‘missing’ from time to time—to see if anyone cares. This way, she doesn’t have to call the cops or waste her time looking for him. He’s almost always within a five mile radius.” He gave her a serious look when they reached a stop light. “He doesn’t know about the app though, so don’t tell him. Or mention it to ‘me’ unless you know for sure it’s me.”

"Ha...yeah. How uh--How often does that happen?" She asked, stomach churning. Was this going to be the first of a number of occurrences?

“Eh, not too often. He hasn’t pulled that Parent Trap stunt in a  _ long _ time...” He stared blankly ahead as he turned into their neighborhood. “But the last time he did, I ended up in cuffs.” 

“Seriously? What the hell did he do?” she asked, barely able to comprehend it. 

“Stole a motorcycle. Mom refused to give him the money for it—because she actually cared about his safety—but he was hellbent on getting one. He overheard me talking about an acquaintance who owned a Harley, so he dressed as me and stole it. Thought he could just blame it on me if he got caught—which he did, less than a day later. Idiot walked right in front of a security camera.”

“Jesus....” she murmured, heart clenching for him. She couldn’t imagine his confusion, his upset, his  _ anger _ at being dragged away by the cops. “Where uh...where did they arrest you?” 

_ Please say it wasn’t at work, or while out with friends, or at school... _

“At home. Which was for the best, since Mom could shake down the police, and Dad could immediately blame Kylo. Pretty open and shut, considering Kylo already had some misdemeanors on record...but definitely stressful.”

“So you didn’t have to go to prison or anything, right?” she asked, immensely relieved. At least Ben hadn’t had to suffer through a jail cell, but to have the cops show up at his home and put cuffs on him? When he did  _ nothing _ ? Just...terrible.

He shook his head with a grim smile. “No jail time for me...or for him. Just some community service and a fine—paid up by Mom, of course.”

“That’s so...” She sunk into the seat, staring out the window for a long moment. 

What privilege did for a person… She’d had friends—well, people she’d survived the system with—who were serving time for a lot,  _ lot _ less. It made her sick.

“I’ll be careful. From now on. A  _ lot _ more careful,” she said as they pulled into the driveway. “But...I did start to suspect. I asked him a question that he couldn’t answer just before you called.”

“After you pinned him like that, looks like he’s the one who should be careful.” 

“I had the element of surprise on my side. Don’t think I’ll be able to get away with pinning him again, now that I’ve done it once,” she said, waving a flippant hand. Part of growing up the way she did was learning when to fight, when to run, and when scrap old strategy. 

“It’s still impressive, given the size difference. Wish you’d told me you were a martial arts master,” he teased with a tiny smile.

She chuckled, rubbing at the back of her neck. “If you want to call it martial arts, by all means. I wouldn’t mind learning a proper way to fight, actually. I’m mainly versed in ankle-biting and bollocks-kicking.” 

A full laugh escaped him. “I, for one, would love to learn the fine art of bollocks-kicking.” 

A moment later, he seemed to recall something. “So what was the question? The one you asked when you started to suspect it wasn’t me?”

The faintest blush came to her cheeks, though she didn’t know  _ why _ . It wasn’t like she’d asked anything too deep. 

“What your favorite constellation is.”

“You remembered that?” For half a second, a toothy grin split his features from ear to ear. “What did he say it was, the Big Dipper?”

“Of course I did,” she murmured, blush deepening before his question made her chuckle. “Not exactly. He said Scorpio.”

His brows rose as she continued, lips parted in disbelief. “The enemy of Orion? That’s… almost too perfect. Hm. Maybe he just thought of our zodiac sign and hoped it was a real constellation.”

She laughed again. “He basically told me then and there that he was Kylo, didn’t he? I had a feeling, but...I guess I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t think he was  _ capable _ of something like that.”

“What tipped you off before asking him about the constellations?“ he asked, glancing down the driveway as if he expected Kylo to show up at any second, but the street was empty. 

"He said things that sounded more...well, like  _ Kylo _ , and less like you," she said.

“Did he ever say what his original plan was?”

She’d been honest so far, but she didn't want to be honest about that question. Her stomach clenched at the memory of Kylo's hips thrusting up against her, the look in his eye, his words;

_ ‘Isn't it obvious?’ _

No, no. He had to be wrong. Because  _ that _ ...was wrong. And Ben...she couldn't put that in his head. That was what Kylo  _ wanted _ . So instead, she shrugged. "I uh-- I don't know. My knight in shining armor came to the rescue before I could beat it out of him."

“I’m flattered you could tell the difference so soon,” Ben said with a weak smile. “Seemed like you were your own knight in shining armor. But don’t worry...I’ll get it out of him myself, whenever he comes crawling back home…”

"Well, we're friends, aren't we?" she asked, a smile growing on her lips. "At least, I consider you a friend. I understand if, y'know, you're still on the fence about me." 

An awkward chuckle followed her babbling, and she cleared her throat, before noticing how his withered smile bloomed to life at her words. 

“Of course we are.” 

"Oh, good! That's...good...so what, uh, what are you planning to do?" she asked, thinking back to the  _ rage _ that had painted his expression as he'd rushed them in the park.

“Eh...I’ll figure something out. Hold his guitar for ransom, maybe,” he said with a wry grin before heading up to the house.

Chuckling, she hopped out of the car and followed him into the house.

_ Such a criminal, _ she thought, fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who figured out it was Kylo before Rey did? Sound off in the comments!


	6. The Results

Contrary to what he told Rey, Ben didn’t squeeze a confession out of Kylo by hiding his uber-special, limited edition, so-sharp-it-could-kill-someone arrow guitar. No, he knew of something Kylo valued just as much, while being much easier to conceal---his weed stash. 

Kylo wasn’t particularly original with his storage spaces since he hit eighteen, when their parents_ really _ stopped giving a shit about his still-developing brain cells. Ben barely had to take five steps into his twin’s trashed room to find the little bag, not crammed in a sock drawer or under the bed, but in plain sight on the nightstand. 

_ So paranoid, yet so stupid _, Ben thought, pocketing the bag before slipping downstairs to relocate it. 

He was lounging at his desk an hour later, lost in an article about newly discovered black holes, when the obnoxious hum of an engine signalled Kylo’s return home. Heavy boots stomped up the stairs, followed by the slam of a door. All was silent for a moment. Then, Ben’s ears picked up on frantic shuffling, muttered curses, and finally, more angry footsteps. 

Ben fully expected Kylo to burst in his room then. Instead, he heard metal clicking as a door--but not his own--rattled on its hinges. 

When he stepped out to the hall, he found Kylo crouched before Rey’s door with two bent paperclips. 

“Uh...what are you doing?” Ben asked. 

“Taking back what’s mine,” Kylo snarled, not sparing Ben a single glance as he kept jimmying the lock. “Should’ve known she’d do something like this...I knew she was a thief right from the start…”

“She doesn’t have your drugs.”

Kylo’s head jerked towards him then, eyes narrowed to slits. “Oh, so you’re in on it? Is this some kind of tag-team revenge for the other day?”

Ben snorted and shook his head. “Better than revenge--it’s blackmail.” 

Turning back to his room, he waved a lazy hand for Kylo to follow him. 

“Well, well, look at you, trying to call the shots,” Kylo drawled, arms crossed as he stepped inside, and Ben closed the door behind him. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this. You do realize I can just buy more weed--”

“You had at least a hundred dollars worth in there. Instead of scraping up the cash to pay _ twice _ for the same amount, I think it’ll be easier to just answer my question.”

Kylo’s nose wrinkled with a sneer. “And _ what, _ pray tell, would that be?”

“What were you trying to do the other day? At the park. Why pretend to be me?” Ben asked, chin held high as he maintained a flat, steady gaze on his brother.

Instead of averting his eyes, dodging the question, or making up some bullshit excuse, Kylo _ laughed. _

“You mean Rey hasn’t told you? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised--there’s a_ lot _ you don’t know about her…”

Ben grit his teeth, caught between curiosity and suspicion. “Like _ what? _” 

“Mm, I’m not really in a position to say,” Kylo hummed, hands shoved in his pockets as he gave a little shrug. “I should let her be the one to tell you…if she _ ever _ wants to tell you, that is.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You mean whatever she said when she thought you were _ me? _ Pretty sure she’ll open up on that one, whenever she’s ready.” 

“Sure, there’s that...but there’s other things…things she’s been keeping from you for weeks...” 

This time, Ben refused to take the bait. Kylo was a pathological liar. Obviously, he was trying to derail the conversation by any means necessary, and Ben wasn’t about to fall for it. 

“It’s a simple question,” he growled, patience unraveling bit by bit. “If you lie to me, I’ll know. So I’ll ask you one last time; _ Why _ did you impersonate me?”

Kylo let out a slow sigh, shouldering past him to sit at the edge of the bed. He took his sweet time getting comfortable before he finally spoke. 

“Well, brother, in the spirit of honesty...I know you want her.”

_ You want her. _

_ You want her. _

_ You want her. _

Ben’s stomach crashed through the floor as the words echoed in his mind. His mouth twisted in an open scowl as he tried to snap back, to make it _ crystal-fucking-clear _ that Kylo was either gaslighting him, or else so socially fucked up he couldn’t differentiate friendliness from attraction--but Kylo didn’t give him a second to respond. 

“You might think you’re being subtle enough that no one will notice, but _ I see you _.” His eyes bored into Ben’s with chilling confidence. “I’ve seen the way you act around female friends and relatives, even our more genetically-blessed cousins--”

“Jesus Christ, Kylo!”

“--but you _ never _ looked any of them the way you look at Rey. She’s not a sister to you, or a friend. So I wondered...how would she react if she knew? If you _ weren’t _ so subtle about it? Of course, I hoped she’d be disgusted, that she’d pack her shit and run along to wreck some other family, but...the results were inconclusive. I only got to drop a few hints before it all went to hell.” He huffed, as if he’d been horribly inconvenienced. “But make no mistake, she knows what I was trying to do. I had no problem telling her. Interesting, how she had a problem telling _ you _…”

Ben breathed hard through his nose as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He wanted to scream, to run, to beat Kylo into a bloody pulp, but he couldn’t do _anything._ Out of all the instinctive responses his body could default to, he was cursed with the most useless one: freeze. 

“So, now that’s out of the way…” Kylo’s hands slapped against his knees as he stood with an expectant look. “Where’d you hide my---”

Before he could finish that question, and incite even more of Ben’s rage, two voices called up from downstairs. 

_ “The results are here!” _

* * *

Han and Rey’s voice, shouting simultaneously, alerted the house.

Both twins raced to the stairs, pushing past each other to get downstairs first. Rey grinned at the thundering of their feet, and bounced-- literally _ bounced _\--as the boys entered the living room. Han chuckled, waving the letter over her head teasingly. Every time she jumped to snatch it, he swiped it out of the way.

“Oh, hurry up, would you?” Leia called, appearing from the kitchen. She carried a tray of coffee, and sat it down upon the table for everyone. Rey didn’t need any; her nerves buzzed as if she’d been hooked up to a live wire.

To ground herself, she plopped in a chair and laced her hands together, tucking them under her chin as Han ripped the seal of the envelope. 

“Ready, kid?” he asked, barely loud enough for the others to hear.

She met his eyes, and her breath caught in her throat. This was it. If the results were positive, she was undeniably part of the family. If they were negative…well…that was it, then. She’d be back on the street. Alone. An orphan.

Closing her eyes, she took a fortifying breath and nodded.

He opened the envelope and extracted the paper. As he flipped open the folded pages, she craned her head to look. 

Their eyes landed on the word at the same time.

_ “Positive,” _Han boomed.

She exhaled shakily, staring at the word as if it might change just to spite her. When it made no sign of transforming, tears sprang to her eyes, and all the weight of the world was lifted from her shoulders. 

She and Han stared at each other for a moment before he dropped the paper to wrap his arms around her. She hugged him back, laughing shakily as she buried her face against his shoulder.

Leia folded her hands together and brought them up to her lips as if in prayer. Her smile was wide, all of her anger at her husband apparently forgotten as she watched a father and daughter united at last.

Rey and Han had held their embrace for a long time. Though they had both been sure, there was something about it being confirmed before their very eyes. Something that made it feel so fresh all over again. Something that made it feel like that very first day, yet so much _ happier. _Because this time both of them, without a shred of doubt, had wanted it to be true.

“Rey.” Leia called her name softly. Rey lifted her head from where it had been pressed against Han’s shoulder.

“Sorry-- I uh… I stained your shirt there,” she said, looking down at the wet spot her tears had left and chuckling softly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, wiping at his own eyes. “Just a bit of dust in there--” 

Rey went over to Leia, who reached out and took her hand between her own. Her eyes were clear and soft as she spoke. “Rey, you are part of this family, and always will be. I want you to know I’m _ overjoyed _by this news.” 

Fresh tears streaked down Rey’s cheeks as she leaned down to give Leia a hug.

It was the first they’d ever shared.

She basked in Leia’s warmth, in the motherly comfort she radiated in waves. She smelled like sunflowers, and it soothed Rey in a way she’d never felt before.

_ Ben. _

She looked up, wanting to share this moment with the man who had so quickly become her closest friend--and now, her brother. Her smile dropped when she didn’t spot the twin she had been looking for, only _ Kylo. _

The way he gawked at her, one would think she’d sprouted antennae and a beak. No doubt he thought the results had to be a mistake, or that she’d stolen his or Ben’s toothbrush to fake it. 

At least he was silent. 

Seconds after their eyes met, he turned his heel and headed upstairs. Had Ben gone to his room, too?

After daintily dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, Leia glanced about the room and frowned. “Where’d the boys go?” 

“Upstairs,” Han grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked back to Rey. “But that’s fine for now. They’ll come back down for food. I feel like having a celebratory dinner.”

Leia nodded about the same time Rey said, “That sounds perfect.” 

Still, Rey glanced upstairs once more. She could understand why Kylo had disappeared, especially after the look of shock she had seen on his face, but she hadn’t even _ seen _Ben’s reaction. 

Her chest ached and her gut swirled. She’d wanted to share that moment with him. But maybe he just needed a moment to process...

_ I’m sure it’s nothing, _she thought, though the tightness in her shoulders lingered.

“Well, I’m going to start getting ready right this second!” Leia announced. Giving Rey another hug, she grinned before heading off into the bedroom.

“I guess I could run a comb through my hair,” said Han, throwing Rey a wink.

“I’ll go invite Ben,” Rey announced. Even if he hadn’t been there to share in the news, he could at least share in the celebration.

Bounding upstairs and to his door, she gave it a couple knocks.

After a beat, Ben’s voice sounded from the other side, “What is it?”

Was something wrong…? He sounded choked up.

_ No…it’s just muffled through the door, _ Rey convinced herself before calling out to him.

“We’re gonna head out to dinner together in a little bit. Any suggestions on where we should go?”

Another beat of silence. Her brows furrowed. 

“I’m not hungry. Go ahead without me.”

She swayed slightly on her feet, torn between stepping away and forcing him to open the door and tell her what the hell was going on.

In the end, she opted for a bit of wheedling, "Well...it's sort of a ‘_ congrats on being an official part of the family’ _ dinner. You could just order an appetizer, maybe? Or have a beer?"

“I know, I’m sorry, I just...I’m not feeling that good, okay? Go ahead, have fun.”

Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came. 

Finally, when sound did emerge from her throat, it was in the form of a small, “Oh...okay.” 

Turning away from his door, she walked to her room in a daze, mind frazzled. She didn’t know what to feel. She should be over the moon, but Ben’s reaction -- or lack thereof-- threw her off. She could barely focus on getting ready.. 

When she came downstairs a little while later, Han and Leia were waiting on the couch. Their heads were bent together and they were speaking too softly for her to hear. Kylo lounged on the recliner, engrossed in his phone. 

Clearing her throat, she waited until she had their attention to say, “Ben— uh— isn’t feeling too well. So he’s not coming.”

Kylo glanced up the stairs with a curious look, but failed to hide the smile creasing the corners of his eyes. “Mm, that’s too bad...” 

“Is he sick?” Leia asked, the lines of her face deepening. “If he’s sick, maybe we should take him to—“ 

“Ben’s a grown man. If he needs a doctor, he’ll make an appointment himself,” Han cut her off. Grabbing his keys, he jerked his chin in the direction of the garage. “Come on, let’s go. I haven’t had anything all day but crackers and coffee...”

Kylo jumped up from his chair, tucking his phone into his back pocket.

“You’re coming?” Rey asked, careful to keep her tone even. He’d been convinced she was a scammer, but now that they had the DNA proof...

Well, he probably still thought she was scamming them. 

“It’s a special occasion, isn’t it?” His little smile spread even wider as he brushed past her, following Han out to the car. 

Rey’s eyes narrowed. What was his angle? Surely, he had one... 

“If you think you’re getting a free meal out of this, you’re sorely mistaken,” Han grumbled as he slid into the driver’s seat, giving Kylo a pointed look in the rearview mirror. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course we’ll pay for his meal,” chided Leia. “As long as it’s within reason...”

Sliding into the backseat beside Kylo, Rey asked, “Where are we going?”

“Wherever you want,” Leia chirped, turning in her seat a little to glance back at Rey as Han pulled out of the driveway. “But if you want a recommendation, I know of this _ fantastic _ little bistro, Chez Marie-Pierre...” 

“_ Chay mah perie _?” Rey tried to repeat under her breath, as Han gagged and shook his head. 

“Rey doesn’t want any of that frou-frou crap, she’s got _ my _ DNA. Ain’t that right, kid?”

Laughing, she quickly nodded. “Absolutely! Though...Chipotle sounds really good. That’s not too fancy, right?”

Kylo let out a low whistle beside her. “Wow, really shooting for the stars there...that’s a whole half-step above McDonald’s...” 

Embarrassment tinged her cheeks. She shot him a glare.

“I hate to agree with _ him _, but you do deserve better than that for a celebration dinner…” Han said.

Rey’s blush grew. Swallowing thickly, she ducked her head. 

“How about Cantina?” Leia offered. “It’s southwestern, not too fancy, but not too casual either..._ great _ margaritas...”

Rey’s head snapped back up. Her gaze instantly found Han’s in the rear view mirror. 

_ Of course _. Why hadn’t she thought of that sooner? 

“Sounds perfect.”

Aside from the classic rock crackling from the radio, and Han and Leia bickering quietly over directions, the ride was mostly silent. Fiesta lights and palm trees signaled they’d reached the restaurant, a creamsicle orange building with a waterfall out front. 

“We almost got thrown out of here once,” Kylo muttered to Rey as their parents stepped out of the car, just out of earshot. “Dad tried to fight the bartender. Also, Ben got _ trashed _ here on our 21st birthday...”

“Fight the bartender?”

“Mmhm...he thought we’d been overcharged,” he snorted. “Mom almost joined in, until she realized Dad was just bad at math.”

Rey chuckled. She could imagine Han doing something like that. She beamed at the older man as he ushered them into a booth. Glancing over to Kylo, she asked, “So what does a trashed Ben Solo look like?”

Kylo slid in beside her, almost to the point of touching, then leaned even closer to whisper in her ear. 

“_ Embarrassing. _” 

Before he could elaborate, a waitress came by to take their drink orders. Leia ordered a mojito while Han and Kylo both got margaritas. Rey just ordered a coke.

“Little sis is too young for booze,” he teased Rey after the waitress walked away. “But don’t worry, I’ll share.”

Reaching for a chip and dipping it in salsa, she quickly looked over to Han and Leia and said, “No, thanks. I’m good. But back to Ben being embarrassing… I would have liked to see that.”

“Well trust me, you don’t want to _ hear _ it. It was karaoke night,” Kylo said with a visible shudder. 

“Are you talking about the time Ben and your mother did a duet?” Han chimed in. Leia glowered at him as if willing him not to go on, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Bon Jovi, wasn’t it?” 

“Journey, actually.” 

“God...” Han groaned, shaking his head. “Wish you’d seen it, Rey. It was...a sight to behold.”

Ben and Leia singing a duet? To _ Journey _, no less? she chuckled at the very idea of it. 

“I wish I had been there,” she agreed, grabbing another chip. “What’s your go-to song Da— Han?” 

She caught herself just in the nick of time. She and Han hadn’t yet had “_ the talk _”, and she certainly didn’t want to just presume she could call him ‘Dad’. Though... She may like to, eventually.

Han was about to grab a chip, but paused mid-reach. After a blink, he showed a smile, too small and sincere to match the sarcasm in his answer. 

“Do I look like I have a ‘go-to song’?” 

“Um, yes?” Kylo snorted. “Every time ‘Hotel California’ comes on the radio, you turn it up.”

Leia chuckled, sparing Han a bemused glance. “He sings it sometimes, too.” 

“Yeah, but not in _ public _,” Han muttered, just as the waitress came back with their margaritas. 

“Well, that’s a fantastic song,” Rey agreed, and Han beamed. 

“You should sing it on karaoke night sometime,” she added, and his expression dropped in an instant. 

Rolling his eyes, Han muttered, “I am _ never _ singing in public.” 

While Leia chuckled, Rey glanced over to Kylo when he pushed the drink over to her. He’d already taken a sip, as his lips were stained as dark as the margarita. 

Gesturing from her to the drink, he said, “Try it, it’s good.”

“Uh—“ she looked back to Han and Leia. “I really shouldn’t. Being underage and all.”

“Come on, kid, it’s a celebration. We won’t tell if you don’t,” Han said, raising his own glass to his lips. 

“I’m not seeing anything,” Leia said conspiratorially, shifting her body towards her husband and shielding her eyes. 

Sighing, Rey knew she was beat. Leaning over, she wrapped her lips around Kylo’s straw and took a quick sip. When the flavor exploded on her tongue, she hummed in pleasant surprise. “Oh! Wow, that’s really yummy. What flavor is it?”

“Pomegranate,” he said, then took another slow sip. While Han and Leia were distracted by the menu, he looked back to Rey, flashing a crooked smile. “Told you they were lenient about this stuff...”

Her lips twitched, and she shot Han and Leia another glance. 

“Fine, just this once, I'll tell you that you were right,” she admitted. Then, as just a bit of punishment, she grabbed his straw again and took another big sip. It really _ was _ tasty.

His eyes noticeably lingered on her lips as they closed around the straw, and he let out a low chuckle.

“If you like it so much, I can make you one at home. I used to bartend, you know.”

“No, I didn’t know,” she said, too busy staring at the drink and wondering how much more of it she could steal. “I thought you had always been in a band.”

“I _ have _ always been in a band. But we weren’t that successful starting out, so—“ 

“You say that like you’re successful now,” Han cut him off with a snort, earning a scathing glare from Kylo. 

“I pay rent, don’t I?” 

Han gave a half-hearted shrug. “At your parents’ house, at almost thirty...” 

“Ben lives at home too, and he doesn’t pay anything!” 

Before Han could retort, Leia intervened with an exasperated groan. “We are _ not _ having this conversation again, not tonight.” 

Kylo narrowed his eyes at both of them, but fell silent, sliding his drink back across the table to take a massive gulp.

Rey peered back down at her menu, considering the banter but not sure as to whether or not she should comment. She was actually surprised to hear that Ben didn't pay rent. 

It didn’t seem fair, but... 

It wasn’t her place to say anything. 

Thankfully, the waitress re-appeared to take their orders. 

The tension diffused a bit as everyone put in their requests. 

Dinner was a very happy celebration, indeed. Kylo kept sneaking her sips of his margarita. A couple times, too, Leia nudged her mojito in Rey’s direction while pointedly staying turned away. 

Plausible deniability, and all that.

By the end of the evening, she was pleasantly buzzed. So was Leia, who insisted on sitting in the back with her, leaving a disgruntled Kylo up front with Han. Rey giggled and laughed with Leia the whole drive home, and when they arrived, she collapsed into bed, knocking out nearly the second her eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Jessa here. Thank you so much for the love and support you have been showing this fic. As we mentioned before, this fic has been adapted from its original RP format. This story is one of the first ones we ever began writing together, and it's still going strong after TWO YEARS! We are so glad we get to now share the story with you, and are so thankful you're enjoying it!


	7. Suddenly, It's a Coffee Shop AU

“Welcome to Jakku Java, what would be your -- preference?”

“Say ‘pleasure’,” hissed her supervisor, and Rey felt a sudden, intense desire to slam her head into the counter. Or his. She wasn’t picky.

Training was…well, it was going. Her alarm had gone off at god-awful-early-o’clock and she’d shuffled out the door a half hour later. The small consolation was that she didn’t have to face the heartbreak she’d become accustomed to every morning; waking up to the sound of Ben’s feet rushing down the stairs.

He didn’t knock on her door to ask if she wanted help with breakfast anymore. It had been a couple weeks since they’d gotten The Big News, and Rey was starting to wonder if Ben had been nothing but a figment of her imagination. She only ever caught glances of him these days. 

Not knowing why was the worst part. Anytime she thought about it, tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

So Jakku Java was a blessing, at least in the way it kept her ears from straining for the sound of Ben once again rushing out the door early to avoid her. Still, forcing a bright, cheery facade before the sun rose was not her idea of a fun time.

“So you do work here after all…” a familiar voice called. She raised her eyes to meet Kylo’s, greeting him with a wide smile as he strolled up to the counter.

She’d relaxed a bit more around him over the last couple weeks. He’d shifted from full-on antagonizing and threatening to…friendly wasn’t quite the word. But nearly. He was around more. He didn’t help her with breakfast like Ben had, but instead lurked close by as she cooked, always calling first dibs on the bacon. He joined them at dinner more often as well, to Han and Leia’s surprise. When they made the mistake of calling him out on it, he quipped that the food was ‘actually tolerable now’, insulting his parents and praising Rey’s abilities in one fell swoop. 

In short, he no longer fit into the villain category of her story. Now, he would be better categorized as a quirky anti-hero. Not that her life was even close to the stuff of comic books.

Glancing over his tattered jean jacket, she snarked, “Kind of you to show up in your own clothes.”

She wasn’t exactly sure if she’d fully forgiven him for that little stunt yet. Even if nothing bad had come from it, she’d hang it over his head for a while.

Snorting, he quirked his brow. “How do you know I’m not Ben pretending to be me–I mean, Kylo?”

“Better luck with that one next time,” she quipped with an exasperated look, then caught herself. “Wait- no-no next time!” 

Her expression was stern for just a moment before breaking into a grin. 

“I hope you’re not going to make this a thing,” she added. “Turning up at my work. Seems a bit stalker-ish, don’t you think?” 

He rolled his eyes, scoffing. “Don’t flatter yourself… but even if it is ‘stalker-ish’, do you take me for the sort of person who cares?”

Quirking a brow, she hummed. “Hm, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“And anyway…” he mused, leaning over the counter with a pointed look. “Isn’t it so much more fun keeping you guessing?” 

She wasn’t about to deign that question with an answer. Heaving a heavy, long-suffering sigh, she picked up a cup and poised a Sharpie over it. 

“Well? I’m determined to memorize the regular’s orders, and if you’re going to happen to show up here during all my shifts, I guess I’ll get yours memorized first, hm?”

His eyes dragged over the menu behind her in deep, exaggerated thought as he crossed his arms, fingers drumming against the counter. “Which one, which one…” 

She huffed, holding her pose while she waited.

The corners of his lips perked up, and he finally gave his order. “Large Deathwish special, iced. Do I get a family discount?”

Scribbling on the cup, she rolled her eyes. “I should charge you double…”

After bringing up the regular total on the screen, she flashed him another smile, and went to brew the six shots of pure caffeine that made up his drink. It was one of the simplest on the menu to execute, but for some reason she still found herself holding her breath when she handed it over to him.

His eyes twinkled with mischief as he stared down at the cup. “Actually, I’ve changed my mind–I want a trenta-shot, no foam, half-caf, coconut milk latte with five pumps mocha, three pumps hazelnut, and two pumps blueberry.”

“You big–!” Rey was cut off when someone cleared their throat behind her. Turning around, she tensed to find her supervisor emerging from the back, just before Kylo let out a low growl.

“Hux? When the hell did you start working here?”

The ginger ignored the question, either firmly set in his ‘work persona’ or just that determined to get under Kylo’s skin.

He met Kylo’s glare with a sterile smile and a pre-recorded tone. “It’s our policy that all guests receive their drink exactly how they desire it. I’ll have Rey whip this up for you right away.” 

She didn’t realize he was scribbling something until he slapped a cup in her hand. When she looked down, she found the clear plastic practically blacked out by Kylo’s ridiculous order.

“That was a joke, Hux,” Kylo huffed, but her supervisor (torturer) just raised a hand.

“Please, sir. She’s in training, and it’s my duty to see she does each and every job perfectly.”

“But–” Rey began to protest before Hux stopped her with an icy stare. Silently swearing to get Kylo back for this later, she set about the impossible task of making his ridiculous drink.

Her supervisor’s commentary? “Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Missed a step. Wrong.”

Rey shot a glare to Kylo every time Hux announced she’d done something wrong. He just stood back and snickered, which made her want to kill him even more. 

Feeling as if she’d dragged herself through war, she finally completed the drink. Nearly in tears from how perfect it looked, she handed it off to Kylo, who wrinkled his nose at it while Hux watched with a twisted grin.

“Now, valued customer, if you would please taste it now so I can be assured that it was done to your liking…”

There was no way Kylo would like anything that sweet---but it was exactly what he ordered. Rey’s eyes shone with malicious, expectant glee as she waited for him to down his drink.

He just shook his head and set it back on the counter. It sloshed thickly against the plastic, more like mud than actual coffee. 

“I didn’t actually ask nor pay for this, I was kidding…”

Neither Hux nor Rey budged. She’d see him take a sip of that devil's drink with her own eyes, or there’d be hell to pay.

After an excruciating pause, Kylo lifted the drink to his lips, cringing before he’d even taken a full sip. She delighted in the sight. Seeing his twisted, pained expression made all the aggravation she had gone through worth it.

“Perfectly disgusting,” he spat before shoving it back across the counter.

Rey caught the drink before it could tip over the edge. Curiosity winning over her better judgement, she took a sip.

Her eyes bugged out of her head as she gagged. The artificial sludge coated her tongue in a sick mix of flavors, no doubt corroding all her teeth at once with its infernal sweetness.

Kylo chuckled behind her as she rushed to the sink and dumped the drink (along with the five others she’d screwed up before). While her back was turned, Hux quietly interrogated Kylo.

“Am I to assume this is the Rey you won’t stop bitching about? The one who’s so friendly with your brother? You seem to be getting along with her just fine…”

“Ben isn’t so friendly now that we know she’s our sibling for sure… strange, right?” Kylo muttered, then raised his voice, apparently wanting to be heard now. “But yes, we are getting along, since she started to behave...” 

Rey glared at him over her shoulder.

“Started to behave?” Scrunching her nose at him as she returned to the counter, she said to Hux, “He talks about me like I’m some sort of dog.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Some people treat their dogs better than their own family,” Kylo countered. Despite his teasing, there was a strangely affectionate look in his eyes that she didn’t quite know how to interpret.

Deciding on a change of subject, she glanced between him and Hux. “How do you two know each other, anyway?” 

“He’s our shitty bass guitarist who we keep trying to replace,” Kylo grumbled. 

Hux simply offered a thin smirk.

The door chimed and Rey hustled to the register, determined to make her next order go smoothly.

Once certain she could handle the customer, Hux looked to Kylo and deadpanned. “I see why you hated her so much. She’s obviously a little monster.”

Kylo opened his mouth to retort, but Rey was already bouncing back over to them. Looking to Hux, she asked, “Mind if I take my break now?”

“HR regulations require me to provide you one…”

“Right,” she trailed off, wondering what alien planet her supervisor had come from. Shaking her head, she turned to Kylo. “Wanna sit and chat, or do you have something better to do?”

He tilted his head with a little shrug. “If you’re asking me to hang out, I guess I could make the time...” 

She rolled her eyes, gesturing him over to a little booth in the back corner of the cafe, far out of earshot of Hux. "Come on, then."

When he slid in across from her, he looked at her for a long moment, lips pursed.

Was there something on her face? She tried to swipe discreetly at her cheek. 

“So...couldn’t help but notice my brother’s been avoiding you...seems a little strange, don’t you think?” 

She frowned and shook her head, reaching for the water she’d brought to the table from the back and taking a sip. "What? No-No. He's not--what? No way..." 

He slowly arched a brow, crossing his arms on the table. 

“I’m not stupid. He’s not doing any of the cutesy shit you guys used to do. And he won’t tell me why—surprise, surprise—so why don’t you?”

She grimaced at his phrasing, but let it slide. Shrugging, she defaulted to the excuse she’d been using to assure herself, "He's probably just busy with school. The end of the semester is coming up soon, so…”

“If he were busy with school, he’d tell you—and probably apologize to an annoying degree about it,” Kylo countered, much too quickly for her liking.

He's right, a voice whispered, but she ignored it. "I don't know, then. If he really is avoiding me, how should I know? It's not like he’d give me the courtesy of telling me why."

He held her gaze for another long moment, but soon broke eye contact and leaned back. “Thought you might’ve had a fight, or he’d given you some sort of idea...but if you don’t know, I have a theory...”

A theory? She knew better than to entertain it, but...she was curious. Too curious. Leaning her arms against the tabletop, she debated a moment longer before taking the bait. 

“Alright, then, what’s your theory?”

His eyes flicked back up to hers, the words poised and ready. “That it has something to do with the results, obviously. Looked like he walked away the moment he found out for sure you were his sister...strange, since he ‘always believed you’.”

She fell back in her seat with a scoff. “Come on, I thought you actually had something. He has always believed me, so there’s no way that having his belief confirmed would make him suddenly start avoiding me.”

He let out a long sigh, looking up and away from her. “I’m not saying he thought you were lying, per se, just...that maybe, deep down, he hoped you weren’t actually related to him.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” she protested, brows furrowed. “I wouldn’t have stayed if the results hadn’t been positive. He knew that. I thought he would’ve been excited because-- y’know-- we could’ve kept doing all the things we were doing. Cooking together, sharing books, watching the stars. If anything, I thought you would’ve started avoiding me.”

“I only avoid liars. You were proven not a liar, so you’re cool.” 

“Wha—“ she scoffed, then chuckled. What kind of logic was that? “Well, I’m glad that you think I’m cool now.” 

After another pause, he met her gaze with a more serious expression. “But really, do you think most siblings hang out that often? Especially when you’ve only known each other a little over a month? Can you think of no reason why he’d suddenly feel strange about being close to you?”

She gave a weak shrug. “I... I don’t know. I’ve never had a real sibling before. I thought that maybe it was just another sign that I belonged — he and I getting along so well— but now... I don’t know. I don’t understand why he would just—“ 

Her throat constricted, and she cast her eyes back down to the table. She couldn’t say the word. It hurt too much.

He lowered his voice a bit as he leaned closer. “Remember when I said he’s more like me than you’d think? I take back a lot of what I said before, but not that. He just feels more guilty about it.”

She blinked, raising her eyes back to his. When had he ever said— oh. Wait, he had said that, hadn’t he? The day she’d made breakfast with Ben for the first time. But— 

“What do you mean? Guilty about what?” 

Was he referring to what a jerk he’d been in the beginning? Did he think that Ben was avoiding her to tick her off?

He closed his eyes and dropped his chin, shaking his head. “Jesus, you’re in as much denial as he is…”

She glowered at him, arms crossing tighter over her chest. Denial? She wasn’t in denial.

“I get it, it’s icky to admit,” he continued. “But when you’ve been separated your whole life and suddenly live with someone you have so much in common with, weird feelings are bound to pop up...”

Heat crept up the nape of her neck as she recalled how tightly his body pressed against hers, pinning her against the countertop. How he rolled his hips under hers when she’d pinned him to the ground after chasing him, hot and hard and— no. 

“I don’t have any kind of weird feelings.” She glanced back to the register, where two people stood waiting. “Looks like I should get back over there. See you at home, Kylo.”

He rolled his eyes when she stood, muttering under his breath, “That’s great, do what the rest of this family does and shove everything deep down, that’s healthy...”

What the hell was wrong with him? As he stomped off, she returned behind the counter and put on her best professional smile, but his words lingered in the back of her mind long after the door clanged shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Julia here! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to us! I know it's still a bit of a slow burn right now, but fear not, things will heat up CONSIDERABLY within the next few chapters. As always, here's the [Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QQPRBDYisCdvuM3dlfZo1?si=itQqQP4fTqyamBWAkOiWpA) <3


	8. Birthday Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated. Please be mindful of them. Spoiler for the chapter ahead: Rey falls asleep and Kylo gets a bit handsy. Nothing overtly explicit, but if it's not your cup of tea then please don't read after she sticks her tongue out at him.

Ben begged his parents not to throw a giant house party for Rey’s birthday. For the past ten years, they’d respected his wishes to keep all celebrations family-only— mainly because Kylo would humiliate them if they did anything more. But even with the risk of a Kylo-related-disaster, Leia  _ clearly _ couldn’t pass up using Rey as a bragging chip slash Cinderella story in front of all her esteemed friends. 

And this was how he ended up on his fifth glass of champagne. Trapped in his own home, surrounded by strangers and ancient family friends, answering boring question after boring question for the occasional, vaguely familiar face.

“What are you in school for?” 

“When are you going to finish your doctorate?”

“What can you even  _ do  _ with a history degree?”

“Do you have a backup plan, like accounting or engineering?”

God, he wanted to die.

He would’ve just faked sick if he thought he could get away with it. But there was no way in hell he could skip Rey’s birthday and not be called out for it. If not by her, then certainly by Kylo. 

His fingers tightened around the cold glass in his hand as a week-old memory bubbled to the surface. He’d been hiding out in his room as usual when Kylo decided to interrogate him for over half an hour, demanding to know why he’d been avoiding Rey. Ben iced him out, of course, giving no answer beyond ‘none of your business’ or ‘fuck off’-- but Kylo  _ knew _ . If his earlier jabs were anything to go on, he’d known for a long time. 

How long before Rey knew, too?

His breath halted as a flash of emerald fabric turned the corner from the den to his hideout in the kitchen. He barely pushed past Uncle Lando and Mon Mothma in time to shrink into a corner by the stairs, where the iron railing dug into his shoulder blades with every shaking breath. 

_ Get it together, you coward, it’s her birthday…. _

He tossed back the rest of his drink, grimacing as the bubbles burned his throat. He  _ had _ to talk to her sometime tonight. Even if she’d let her hair down in perfect, shiny waves, and glossed her lips, and wrapped up her curves like a goddamn Christmas present, she was his  _ sister _ , and she deserved an audience. 

No, more than that. She deserved _ answers _ . She needed to know it wasn’t her fault he’d ghosted her, that it was him who was fucked up, that he did it for her own safety...

Sober-Ben would’ve known this was a stupid idea. But being genuinely  _ trashed _ for the first time in well over a year, he couldn’t take the guilt a second longer. 

When she rounded the staircase, he grabbed her shoulder, leaning on her heavily as he swayed in place. “Rey…I have...have to tell you something…”

His vision wobbled as she struggled to keep him from toppling her over. “Okay, Ben, okay. Here, just...follow me. Let’s go somewhere less crowded to talk.”

He shook his head, slapping a hand against the wall to steady himself as he tried to get his thoughts out. Why was this so hard? Oh, right, she was distracting as hell. Her dress wasn’t even that revealing, but his eyes kept raking over it, from her bare shoulders down to her black heels. 

“No time...listen, I have to tell you…” he kept trying to say, but his thought fizzled out as Rey dragged him through the crowd and outside into the night air. 

“Let’s go to the woods. Alright? Here.” 

Rey offered soft words of encouragement as he stumbled across the patio. Having space to move and breathe helped clear his head, and he was about to try again at his confession, when he saw Kylo’s poorly built campfire flickering between the trees. 

“Why’re we going to _ him?  _ Why are you even friends now, I thought…I thought…”

“It’s fine, Ben, we’re just frenemies,” she responded through gritted teeth, struggling slightly with trekking across the grass while supporting his weight.

“Frenemies…?” he muttered, not really enlightened by this term. Since those results came out, everything had gotten so complicated and strange. Kylo had been absolutely  _ awful  _ to her, but she seemed to have forgotten that overnight. Was she trying to replace him? 

‘Replace him’, Jesus…Even that sounded like something his brother would say.

“Why’s  _ he _ here?” Kylo called out, echoing Ben’s earlier question.

Ben dug his heels into the earth, but Rey was relentless, tugging him closer to the campfire even as his brother laughed at how he staggered. 

“You have a few too many wine coolers, princess?”

“Shut  _ up, _ Kylo…”

"He's here...because we can't get a moment..oof!..to ourselves in the house," Rey bit between breaths. Sweat ran down her temple, and she wished for about the thousandth time she hadn't let Leia rope her into going to the salon to have her hair and makeup done for the party.

"You were smart to hide out here, Kylo. It's a zoo in there," she grumbled, glancing toward the house where way too many bodies could be seen moving around in front of the windows.

"Even upstairs?" Kylo's eyes narrowed as he glared up at the house. "If anyone's in my room, I swear to god--" 

"No one's in your room, calm down..." Ben groaned, slumping to one of the logs set by the fire. Again, he tried to think of an exit strategy, but was shaken from his thoughts by the scraping of cardboard against rock and earth. 

"Couldn't...exactly...fit...my present...with the...others," Kylo grunted as he dragged a refrigerator box out from behind a thick row of trees. His hands settled on his hips when it thumped to the ground, and he looked to Rey with a breathless, expectant smile. 

"Go ahead. Open it."

"What the hell is that...?" Ben croaked, squinting at the box as the smoke wafting from the fire stung his eyes. Kylo, naturally, didn't dignify him with a response, waiting in silence as Rey tore into the box. 

Ben didn't know what he was expecting. An old guitar she'd never use? A stolen Harley, maybe? When Rey gasped with delight rather than horror, his chest tightened, and his lip curled as he peered at a mountain of factory-made desserts, ranging from Goldfish to Twix.  _ Ugh _ . Kylo really  _ had _ gotten to know her. He couldn't afford a proper gift, but he sure as hell could indulge her vices. 

Rey barked a laugh as she filed through the box, shaking her head. "I can't believe you-- These are  _ all _ my favorites!"

"It's like a year's supply to a normal person," Kylo snickered. "But maybe a month's supply for you."

"More like a week's supply," she jested in return, smiling at him so wide the corners of her eyes crinkled. 

Ben rolled his eyes and lurched back to his feet, stuffing a hand deep in his pocket to withdraw a small, blue velvet box. "I got you something too, Rey..."

She was two seconds away from grabbing a Little Debbie's Nutty Buddy when his sudden movement had her head turning. "Oh. Thank you, Ben..."

His heart thumped hard against his sternum--whether from standing up too fast or from anxiety, he couldn't tell. His throat bobbed as she took the box, praying Kylo wouldn't say anything to ruin the moment. For once, his brother was silent, and Ben wrung his hands while Rey opened the box.

When she did, her breath audibly hitched. Inside was a small, crystal-clear teardrop pendant, engraved with the initials  _ RS _ . Carefully, reverently, she ran her fingers over the glass.

"Oh...wow..." 

"I don't know if you planned on changing your last name...but I thought you should know you're a Solo to me. To us, I mean...." 

When he glanced to Kylo, he found him already staring back with an arched brow and pursed lips, like he desperately wanted to say something, but not in front of Rey. 

"Fancy," he finally muttered, then flashed a grin in her direction. "But mine's better, right?"

She rolled her eyes at him, lips parting as she readied a retort, but a shrill ringtone cut her off.

_ Ding-Ding-Ding! Ding-Ding-Ding! _

Brows furrowing, she reached into her purse for her phone, head tilted as she looked at the screen. She paused a moment before answering. 

“Hello?” Her brows furrowed further before her expression lit up. “ _ Finn?! _ Oh my gosh, Finn!”

_ Who the fuck is Finn?  _ Ben’s head jerked towards his brother. Kylo had hung out with Rey more often lately, maybe he knew who this guy was--or at least, his expression might tell Ben if he should be worried. 

Kylo stared hard between Rey and her phone, his stance rigid as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

“Finn, can you just ho–” Rey laughed into the receiver, “Hold  _ on _ .” 

Lowering the phone from her ear, she looked between the twins, asking, “Do you two mind if I go back inside?” 

“That depends, what did he want?” Kylo crossed his arms, even as Ben waved her on.

“Yes…you can go...”

He tried his best to seem nonchalant, but with champagne still buzzing through his system, his tone and expression refused to match his words. 

After a moment of glancing between them, Rey changed her mind. 

“Actually, it’s okay.” Bringing the phone back up to her ear, she said, “Hey, how about we catch up later? I’m a little busy.” 

She smiled into the receiver, nodded slightly, and hung up.

“So...who’s Finn?” Ben asked.

When she only responded with a blank, tight-lipped stare, he coughed and continued, “It’s just...I’ve never heard of him before. Where does he live? Is he from around here?”

He knew he’d messed up somewhere, but wasn’t sure how, until she turned to Kylo. 

“Haven’t I mentioned Finn to you before?”

“Uh...yeah, once.” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “Foster buddy...said he moved to Oregon?” 

Rey nodded, then turned her attention back to Ben. “I guess I would have mentioned it to you had you been  _ present.”  _

He flinched back, shoulder hitting the rough bark of a tree. Again, he ached to tell her why he’d been avoiding her…but he couldn’t do that here. Not with Kylo. Besides, the more he thought about it, the more he realized telling the truth was quite possibly the worst thing he could do. Not just to Rey, but to the whole family. 

She’d probably be happier if he just left. 

“Right then. Um. I’d better get back….” He staggered back towards the house, eyes glued to the ground as a familiar hollowness settled in his chest.

“Wait,” Rey groaned behind him, but he didn’t turn. 

He was about halfway to the house when an arm wrapped around his, forcing him to halt. He looked to her, heart aching as his gaze met hers.

“Maybe we should talk?” she asked.

“About what?” he sighed, glancing down at where she touched him. Why did she have to do that? 

She looked over his shoulder toward the patio bench, settled just far enough from the campfire without being too close to the house. “Over there. Please?”

He hesitated, but gave in with a shrug, following her across the yard. Squeezing into the far corner to the bench, he mindlessly fiddled with the end of his tie, avoiding eye contact at all costs. The tension in the air was so thick it nearly choked him. It clawed at him to say something, despite the thousand reasons why he shouldn’t. 

When Rey broke the silence, her voice was slightly hoarse. 

“I want us to be friends again.”

He took in a short breath, eyes still set on the ground. Friends…yes, they’d been friends at one point. Siblings could be friends, or enemies, as he and Kylo were. But none of these words could possibly encompass how he felt towards Rey.

Leaning forward, trying to capture his gaze, she said, “That’s all I want, Ben. I don’t know why you’ve been avoiding me, but…I don’t  _ care,  _ okay? Any reason you have isn’t good enough for me. I just want  _ you  _ again.” 

She didn’t care to know why? Did that mean she already knew, but wanted to pretend otherwise, like he had for so long? 

This disease was so insidious. When Rey had first stepped out of his father’s truck, he would’ve been blind not to recognize her beauty, but he hadn’t dwelled on it. Pretty girls weren’t exactly hard to come by (especially in California). But then came the sympathy. This poor stranger, dragged into his nuclear disaster of a family with nowhere else to go, seemed in desperate need of a friend. Just like him. And when they ended up talking about almost any subject for hours, he’d never felt so at ease, so understood. 

He should’ve known  _ why  _ they had so much in common. When he was just talking to her, cooking, hanging out, it was easy not to feel guilty. He wasn’t doing anything wrong.

It was a different story when he was alone. Every sick fantasy he’d repressed during the day came out at night, no matter how hard he tried to stop himself. By the time she sent out the DNA test, he was already hoping the results would be negative, and that somehow, she’d get to still live with him. Maybe because everyone was so fond of her. Only then he could accept his feelings without remorse. And oh, if she felt the same way back...

But no. Just like she’d said from the beginning, just like all their commonalities suggested, she was his sister. And that was all she’d ever wanted to be. 

If she knew how he felt, this conversation wouldn’t be so civil. If she knew, she wouldn’t want to be his _ friend _ , she’d want to move out as fast as possible. 

Avoiding her had done more harm than good. He could see that now. It didn’t cure him in the slightest, but it had certainly hurt her. If one of them  _ had _ to suffer in silence for the rest of their days, he’d rather it be him. 

“I’m so sorry…” His voice was little more than a whisper as his arms wrapped around his ribcage. “I’ve missed you too. So much…”

“Just– just please don’t _ abandon  _ me again.” 

Her voice cracked at that word, and he winced. 

“I didn’t…I didn’t mean to make you feel like I abandoned you. I didn’t do it to hurt you, I swear…” 

With no words left, he reached over and pulled her into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms desperately around him in return, her cheek pressed into his hair. As she held him, he hid his face in her neck, eyes screwed shut to stop the impending onslaught of tears. He was so tired of crying. He’d cried almost every day lately–at least, when he wasn’t entirely numb to the world, slogging through his routine like a zombie. 

As wetness seeped through his shirt, he realized she was crying too. Because of him.

“I’m sorry...” he whispered shakily, holding her even tighter as if he could squeeze out all the sadness. 

Her hand slid to the back of his neck, and he let out a soft sigh, enjoying the feeling much more than he should have. If only it were her lips touching him instead of her fingers. 

He resisted a little as she started to pull away, not yet ready to let her go, but he eventually relented. Smiling weakly, he gently brushed a tear from her cheek. 

“Do you maybe want to go on the roof?” she asked softly.

He was about to say yes when footsteps crunched through the grass behind him. Turning around, he cringed to find his brother sauntering over. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Kylo feigned innocence but Ben knew better. He’d probably eavesdropped on the whole conversation.

“Yes, you are,” Ben growled. Naturally, his twin ignored him, shifting his focus to Rey.

“Don’t leave so soon! The party’s just started. It’s a lot more fun with you around…”

“Then join us,” she said. “Come to the roof.” 

Ben gave Rey a sharp look. That was  _ their  _ thing, not Kylo’s. He wasn’t even sure if she and Kylo had a thing of their own, but if they did, he didn’t want to know. Turning back to his twin, Ben prayed he’d decline the offer.

Kylo gave a skeptical glance to the roof then shrugged. “Eh, why not?”

Ben groaned internally. He wished he could tell his brother to piss off, but if he denied Rey’s wishes, he’d just look like the bad guy. That was the last thing he needed right now. After abandoning Rey for so long, being the ‘good’ brother was all he had going for him. 

The three of them braced themselves before reentering the party. Dodging the guests’ pestering had been a challenge, but somehow, they’d made it to Ben’s room as a group. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but since when do you sneak out on roofs?” Kylo asked. “You do know there’s an iota of  _ risk _ involved, right?” 

Ignoring him, Ben opened the window and gestured for Rey to go first.

She kicked off her heels, but cursed when she tried to lift a leg on the edge, only for her dress to impede her. Rather than go change, she pulled the material up to her thighs to crawl through the window. 

Kylo didn’t even try to be subtle as he gawked at her, his eyes pinned on her ass until Ben shoved him in the shoulder. His only response was a smirk that said ‘ _ what are you going to do about it?’ _ . 

Kylo climbed out to the roof next, followed by Ben. Rey was already on her back, using one arm as a pillow, and they settled on either side of her. 

The muffled sounds of the party punctuated the silence between them. After a moment, Rey slipped her hand into Ben’s, and his chest rose with a shuddering breath.

“So…you two do this often?” Kylo asked, squinting up at the constellations.

Rey nodded. “Yeah. We come up to stargaze sometimes, or just to talk.”

She turned to smile to Ben, and when she squeezed his hand, he couldn’t stop a grin from breaking his face in two. Everything was just how it was before. Maybe even better--though he’d prefer if his brother wasn’t present. 

“I assume Kylo eventually apologized for his atrocious behavior?” he asked after a moment, still curious as to how, exactly, Rey and his brother made nice. 

Kylo leaned over her to flip him the bird. “Not a chance.”

Rolling her eyes, Rey turned back to Ben. “He hasn’t technically apologized, but he hasn’t been acting like a _complete_ arse lately, so I’ve forgiven him.” 

With a grin, she recounted the story of the ‘Cavity-Concoction-From-Hell’ she’d made for Kylo on her first day at work. 

“...you should’ve seen his face when Hux forced him to try it! That was revenge enough for me,” she concluded, shooting Kylo a sickeningly sweet grin.

“Hey, I got her to try it too, so I wasn’t the only one,” Kylo muttered, as if that helped his case. 

Ben chuckled quietly at the story. “I’m glad  _ someone  _ can knock him down a peg or two.”

Rey smiled up at him, then turned to Kylo with an appraising eye.

“He’s actually not all that bad...” She raised a brow at him, dropping her tone conspiratorially. “Or am I just special?”

Kylo snorted and shook his head. “You’re just special, trust me.” 

When she stuck out her tongue at him, Ben cringed, knowing how Kylo would take that. Sure enough, he stared at her mouth for far too long before she settled down again.

As they fell silent, Ben lost himself in the stars, thoughts drifting to countless ideas until Rey’s heavy breathing distracted him. When he looked her way, her eyes were closed. 

And Kylo’s hand was on her leg.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ben hissed, barely loud enough for Kylo to hear. One part of him wanted to shake Rey awake and drag her inside, but the other begged him to stop this  _ before _ she woke up, before his lesser half scarred her for life. 

Kylo just tilted his head at him, arching a brow as if to ask ‘Who, me?’, all while his fingertips danced over her thigh. Ben glowered and reached to stop him before a breeze rolled over the roof. Her dress billowed back, revealing a flash of freckled skin and blue lace, until Ben snatched the material and yanked it back down. Kylo rolled his eyes and pouted. 

“Boo, you’re no fun.”

Breathing hard through his nose, Ben looked up to Rey, half expecting to find her gaping at them in horror. She merely shivered in her sleep. When his gaze drifted down again, a strangled noise caught in his throat, and Kylo practically purred with delight.

“Look who’s not wearing a bra…”

That scrap of silk she called a dress barely covered her chest as it was. Now, it did nothing to shield her from the cold, nor hide her hardened peaks. 

Ben tried to tear his eyes away. He really did. But when would he ever get another chance to burn this image into his brain, to save it for his next late-night session of shame? He already knew what he’d imagine. Just him and Rey, sprawled on a soft bed instead of a hard roof, with his idiot brother nowhere in sight. This flimsy dress would be the only thing between them, but not for long. His lips parted at the thought of slowly peeling it off her, unwrapping his long awaited gift, when Kylo’s snicker splashed cold water onto his consciousness. 

“Like what you see?” 

If Rey weren’t lying between them, Ben would’ve slapped the smirk off his brother’s face. “You’re sick…”

Kylo snorted and glanced pointedly at Ben’s crotch. “Says the man currently pitching a tent.”

Heat rushed to Ben’s face and he abruptly crossed his legs, jaw tight and stomach rolling. Goddammit. The only thing worse than getting hard over his sister was having his fucked up brother see it happen. 

“Oh, don’t be so coy,” said Kylo. “I’m not judging you. I’m the last person who’d ever judge you...”

“Yeah, the one time you  _ should _ .”

Staring hard at the sky, Ben counted down the seconds until his blood cooled, when he could safely awaken Rey without her noticing anything off. A rustle of fabric interrupted his plan. 

“She’s so soft...especially here,” Kylo whispered, eyes black in the shadows as his hand once again slipped over her thigh. “Come on, touch her.”

“Stop it,” Ben bit, fist clenching to restrain itself. 

Kylo’s fingers just crept higher, grazing up and up until they nearly disappeared beneath her dress. “You know you want to...” 

“I said stop!”

Rey sucked in a little gasp, and Kylo ripped his hand back to his side. Neither twin dared to breathe. After the longest moment, she just rolled towards Ben and fell back asleep. A soft sigh of relief escaped him. With her hand still in his and her head resting on his shoulder, she seemed to prefer him over Kylo even in her sleep. But she’d slept long enough. 

“Rey…it’s time to wake up…” 

Kylo groaned as Ben gently shook her awake. A whimper sounded in her throat as she rubbed her eyes, lips stretching in a little yawn. 

“We’re...still on the roof?” She blinked blearily up at the stars, then at them. “Can’t believe I fell asleep up here...must feel really safe with you guys.” 

Ben’s stomach twisted at that. He could feel Kylo’s smirk, but didn’t dignify him with so much as a glance.   
  
“Come on,” he said, tugging her back towards the window. “Let’s get you to bed.”


	9. Just My Type

“The treats are mine, you gave them to me, you cannot have my Little Debbie!”

“It’s just _ one _, Rey, come on!”

"The treats are _ mine _ . You gave them to _ me _. You cannot have my Little Debbie!"

Kylo huffed and made another grab for the snack cake. “I really regret showing you the Boondocks now...”

Snapping the box out of his reach, she snarked, "If you don’t leave my food alone, I'll start chanting '_ swiper no swiping _'."

“Fuck, that’s even worse.” He gave her a once-over and snorted. “You do realize you have chocolate on your face, right? And your fingers...and smeared all over that precious necklace. Do you sleep with that thing on?”

Hand flying to the necklace, she inspected it closely. She made a pained noise when she saw a large blob of chocolate smeared on its crystal-clear surface. Bringing it to her mouth, she cleaned it with a swipe of her tongue. "There. Good as new. And _ no _, I don't sleep with it on, but it's the first thing I put on in the morning."

He wrinkled his nose at her display, though his eyes lingered on her tongue. “I’m sure Ben appreciates your...devotion.”

The necklace fell back against her chest and she shrugged. "At least he doesn't try to steal his gift back from me. Unlike _ someone _."

Eyes narrowed, he leaned in close and flicked at the necklace. “Only because this isn’t Ben’s style...nor is it shareable.”

She leveled a glare at him, but couldn't stop the faintest quirk of her lips. "My _ snacks _ aren't shareable, either."

“What good are snacks if you don’t enjoy them with your nearest and dearest, hm?” 

"Nearest and dear-- Are you high?"

“It’s safe to bet I’m high at least ninety percent of the time. Hence why I require munchies.” He pressed his palms together in front of his face, eyes big and soft as he glanced between her and the little cake. “Can’t you split it with me? _ Please _...?”

Stuttering out a laugh, she cried, "By the _ Maker _, you are bloody ridiculous! You know that, right? I'll give you half if you admit to me right here, right now, that you are a ridiculous man."

A toothy smile broke his facade. “Yes, yes, I’m ridiculous, now _ gimme _.”

"Fine, take it, you nitwit," she griped, handing over the promised piece. "Just know that I will forever resent you for each and every bite you take."

He snatched the cake and stuffed it into his mouth, closing his eyes and chewing slowly with a satisfied groan. 

“Mm, so good...” Swallowing, he licked his lips, then his fingers. “Now was that so hard, you greedy thing?”

Her face pinched and she bit at the inside of her lip, as if he’d taken the last meal she’d see for days. "Y-yes..."

“And people say I suck at sharing.”

Dropping the dramatic expression, she rolled her eyes and offered him a grin. "I hoped I could weasel you into buying me five more packs. Do you hold no soft spot whatsoever for your little sister?"

“Five more packs!” He scoffed, hands settling on his hips. “Do you realize how many were in that fridge box alone? Soft spot, indeed...I bet the price of all that combined cost more than that pretty pendant.”

She snickered and reached into the pantry for a packet of Twix. In the corner of her eye, she spotted Ben as he strode into the kitchen, and a wicked smirk curled her lips. Her hand closed around one chocolate-covered stick before she reached over her head and offered it to Ben. "Want one?"

His footsteps stalled behind her, and after a pause, he took the gift. “Thanks.” 

Her eyes slipped closed for a moment as he pressed a kiss to the top of the head. As he went to grab his water, she leveled a manic grin at Kylo.

“Unbelievable!” He crossed his arms and glared down at her. “No more presents for you next year.”

"What?" she asked, voiced coated in saccharine sweetness. "Like I said, Ben never tries to steal back the presents he gives me. I'm a lot more inclined to share when my stash isn't being constantly swiped at."

“Bullshit, he gave you _ one _ present, I’m the only one who gave you several! And _ constantly _ swiped at? It was just this one time, you little—“ 

“Shut up, Kylo!” Han shouted from the living room. “You’re giving me a goddamn migraine!”

Rey stuck out her tongue and rushed to the living room before Kylo could retaliate with a punishing pinch. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” she said as she jumped into the seat next to her father, squinting at the screen he was glued to. “What in the..._ Ice Road Truckers _? What is this?”

“Only the best show ever.” 

Her brows furrowed as a shaky camera followed an eighteen-wheeler, rendered nearly impossible see thanks to the swirling blizzard. “I don’t think I get it…”

“Eh, you will.” Han took a sip of Scotch just as Kylo walked in front of the TV. 

“Really, Dad? At ten in the morning?” 

“Ah, shove it, you stoner,” Han growled, glass clinking as he waved sharply for his son to move. Kylo, of course, just slid two inches to the left, then two inches to the right.   
  


“Oh, I’m sorry, am I blocking your view?”

Before Han could summon the energy to grab the nearest projectile and hurl it at him, Ben returned from the kitchen and plopped down beside Rey. She smiled and shifted so she could place her cold feet on his warm pant leg. It didn’t satisfy her as much as placing freezing toes against bare skin, but it would do. 

When she glanced up at Kylo again, he stood fully out of the way of the screen, eyes set on her and Ben in a long, cold stare. After a second, he lifted his chin and turned on his heel.

“Well, better get ready for that date. Toodles.”

She twisted over the back of the couch, eyes wide as they followed his steps towards the staircase. “Wait, _ what? _”

Han, meanwhile, shook with a full belly-laugh. “A date? _ You? _” 

“Even you managed one at some point,” Kylo growled. He was already halfway up the stairs, but paused when Rey addressed him again. 

“You’re seriously going on a date?” 

Puffing out his chest, he nodded, lips spread in a smug grin. 

“Mmhm. Sexy redhead. Lots of tattoos, big tits...” 

Han rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the details.” 

“Bullshit,” Ben scoffed. “What’s her name?” 

Kylo’s jaw rolled for a long moment before he answered. “Ruby. Now, if you’re done with your interrogation, I’m going to be late to her show...”

Rey chewed at the inside of her lip, debating all the questions she wanted to ask versus what she _ could _ ask. What redhead? Did Rey know her? Was it someone who came to the cafe? Or someone he met through his band? Probably his band, considering he mentioned he was going to her show. What kind of show was it? 

Yeah, she couldn’t ask _ any _ of those questions without coming off as a clingy, nosy brat. 

“Have fun,” she finally said, and turned back in her seat. 

Her eyes glazed over as she focused on the TV rather than the fading thud of Kylo’s footsteps. Fingers twisting together, she tried and failed to not think about where he was going…who he would see. Before her musings consumed her, Ben nudged her lightly in the side. 

“If she’s real, and that’s a big _ if... _I bet he strikes out within five minutes,” he whispered with a conspiratory smile, and her shoulders relaxed. 

“Yeah, I bet you’re right.” 

The thought of Kylo making a fool out of himself brought her bit of impish delight, but also a strange sense of relief. Why did the idea of him dating make her so uneasy? Maybe she just wasn’t ready to introduce a new person into their lives. Into their family. 

Yeah, that was it. 

A few minutes later, the garage door opened, signaling Leia’s return home. Her footsteps echoed up the steps much faster than usual, and when she stepped in front of the couch, her smile lit up the room.

“Guess who I ran into?” 

“Hell if I know, you ‘run into’ a new person every day...” Han muttered, but her smile didn’t falter. 

“Amila Holdo!” 

Ben perked up, tilting his head. “Aunt Amila? We haven’t seen her since...jeez, I must’ve been ten...” 

“She’s in town on business all week, so guess what that means?” Leia let the suspense hang in the air until Han let out a weary sigh. 

“_ What, _ woman?” 

Leia produced a set of keys from her pocket and gave them a triumphant jangle. “We get to stay at her beach house!”

Han rubbed his temple and groaned. “Sweetheart, you remember last time we took the boys on a trip, it was _ chaos _.” 

Rey barely heard him, her mind already filled with seafoam and sun, salty air and sparkling sand...

“I— I haven’t been to the beach in years. Not since I was a kid.”

“You haven’t?” Leia’s expression brightened even more when Rey shook her head, and she clasped her hands together, turning to Han. “See, now we _ have _ to go!” 

Ben nodded in quiet agreement. “It would be nice to get out of the house.”

“Remember the shows, the bars, the _ casinos...? _” Leia urged her husband with the same kind of puppydog look her son had used on Rey a half hour earlier. “Come on, I know you had fun.” 

Han’s head fell back in the recliner and he huffed out a sigh. “Fine...but only if Kylo stays behind.”

Leia’s expression soured, brows knit and lips in a thin line. “Absolutely not. We’re not excluding our son from a _ family _ vacation.” 

“He’ll just get himself arrested!” 

Rey’s eyes widened. “_ Seriously? _ Arrested? How?” 

Her questions were lost in the argument, drowned out by Leia’s soft, commanding voice and Han’s boisterous baritone. 

“No, he won’t, he’s grown up a lot since then…”

“Grown up, my ass! He probably won’t even want to go—“ 

“Go where?” 

All eyes turned to Kylo as he descended the stairs. He’d changed into his best clothes (a slick leather jacket, fresh Jordans, black jeans _ without _ holes in them), and given himself a fresh shave.

Rey’s throat constricted as her eyes raked over him. He looked like every bad boy stereotype she’d secretly lusted after in high school. And it was all for some faceless, big-titted redhead.

Her hands fisted in her lap, gut rolling with an emotion she didn’t want to interpret. Quickly, she turned back to Ben and let her gaze rove over him. He sported a slight shadow already, despite the fact it was only ten in the morning and he smelled like mint aftershave. The scent of it, like his presence, calmed the restlessness inside of her. 

Looking back to Kylo, she kept her eyes trained on his as she explained. “Aunt Amila’s beach house. She gave the keys to Leia and said we could use it for the week.”

“Cool.” 

That was his only response. She watched his back as he stomped through the living room, grabbed his keys, and disappeared around the corner. The thunderous slam of the door hit her like a blow to the chest.

“See?” Han threw his hands up, as if Kylo’s exit said all they needed to know. “Doesn’t sound like he wants to go.”

“Fine with me,” Ben muttered, then looked to his mother. “So when do we leave?” 

“First thing tomorrow morning!“

* * *

Rey woke up alert and nearly buzzing out of her skin. She’d barely been able to sleep the night before. Her alarm had only let out one shrill beep before she silenced it, all but jumping out of bed. 

Neither Ben’s sluggish silence nor Kylo’s constant complaining could get to her. No, not this morning. 

Han made a valiant effort to pile everyone in his car but was quickly outvoted. Riding in the Falcon would’ve made the whole trip an absolute nightmare, with the cramped space and the fact that it often stopped running at random intervals. After loud protestation from his wife and sons, he begrudgingly followed them to Leia’s soccer mom SUV--the only real option for a group with two to three overgrown adults.

When Rey climbed into one of the two middle seats, it didn’t escape her notice that Kylo shoved Ben aside to take the empty space. Ben ended up stuck in the very back, crammed next to the extra luggage and looking none-too-happy about it.

Despite this, the drive started off quiet and easy, considering the highways were fairly uncrowded and everyone was half-awake. Han’s dad-rock radio was the only sound for miles.

Rey glanced over her shoulder to find Ben staring out the window, lost in his own little world with headphone wires disappearing beneath his hair. She’d thought to pass the time with him somehow, but he looked so serene, she didn’t want to disturb him. 

So she turned her attention to Kylo, who had reclined his seat back as far as it could go and donned his darkest sunglasses. His sleep-disheveled hair fell in his face as he nursed a tumbler of coffee. 

"So, how was your date?" she asked, her tone purposefully lighthearted.

It took him at least five seconds to realize she’d directed a question at him. 

"My date...? Oh. Yeah. It was cool," he deadpanned, taking another sip. "She, uh...really wore me out.”

_ Well, then. _

She blinked once, twice. What the hell was she supposed to say to that? ‘Good for you, bro?’ She’d rather be sick. 

“Are you...going to see her again?”

He was quiet for a beat. Glancing back at Ben, he shrugged. "I don't know. Depends..."

Her brow twitched, and her tone turned a bit harsher than intended as she asked, “Depends on what?”

"You know, if she holds my interest," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "If anything _ better _ comes up."

She snorted. “Right, as if anything could be better than a busty redhead.”

His head rolled back towards the window. "Yeah, that's...just my type, you know. Fiery."

“Fiery? Okay.” She hummed, staring emptily at her lap. She should just leave it there. Drop it. Her foot tapped a steady beat against the floor.

“What else is your type, then?”

His brows raised above the ridge of his sunglasses, and he straightened a little in his seat as he turned back to her. "Independent. Smart--streetsmart, I mean, not necessarily booksmart. Funny, open-minded...a jack of all trades."

As he listed off each trait, she found herself looking for the ones she fit, then promptly stopped herself. Why the hell did she care if she fit into her brother’s preferred type? What was wrong with her? 

After a pause, he leaned over his arm rest and asked, "What about you, then? What's your type?"

Her gaze snapped to his. Damn those sunglasses. She didn’t realize how much she relied on being able to see his eyes. Especially when they were always so expressive. 

“This isn’t about me. I only asked in case I, y’know, found a girl better than your current flame.”

The corner of his lip curved in a crooked grin. He let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "So it's okay for you to interrogate me about my love life, but I can't ask about yours?" 

She scoffed. “I don’t _ have _ a love life. You do. How’d you meet her, anyway?”

He ground his teeth and gave another shrug. "Friend of Phasma's. Met her at a party. So what about that friend of yours, uh...Finn, was it? Anything ever happen between you and him?"

A soft smile lit her expression, briefly, as Finn’s warm, cherubic face flashed before her eyes. “No, no. Nothing like that. Well— I think maybe he had a crush on me. A little one. But all he can talk about now is his sexy, Latin pilot boyfriend. Poe, I think his name was.”

"Oh. I see..." Another pause, and then, "You still didn't answer my question. What's your type? Hypothetically, of course."

Her eyes rolled to the ceiling and she sighed. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

"A grown-ass woman who's never dated, nor even _ thought _ about what kind of person she'd like to date? You take a vow of celibacy or something?" 

“I didn’t say I’ve never dated,” she countered quickly. “I just said I have no love life...currently.”

"So then you _ should _ know what your type is, you're just hiding it from me," he hummed, regarding her behind his sunglasses like she was a puzzle to be solved. 

She cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. “Has Ben ever had a girlfriend? Do you even consider Ruby a girlfriend now? Or is she just...someone you’re seeing?”

Again, Kylo’s eyes shifted to the backseat, and he shook his head. "Nah. He's not nearly charming enough to get a girlfriend. And Ruby is...just someone I'm seeing, yeah."

Ben had never had a girlfriend...ever. The knowledge shouldn’t have pleased her as much as it did, and yet…

When she glanced back again, he’d closed his eyes. No doubt sinking deeper into the music. What was he listening to? Probably something by Bach, or Mozart, or Tchaikovsky. 

Turning back to Kylo, she groaned as she found him still pinning her with an expectant expression. She could expect him to drop a juicy subject about as much as she could expect a dog to drop a bone. 

“Alright, _ fine _. There’s this guy that comes into the coffee shop all the time…”

He perked up, leaning in close enough for his eyes to be somewhat visible behind the dark lenses. “What’s he like?”

“Tall, dark hair… Funny. I laugh a lot with him...though he’s a prick sometimes.”

"That so...?" His throat bobbed as he swallowed, then showed a faint, tentative smile. "Think anything would ever happen with him?"

A fluttering sensation swooped into her gut as he closed more and more of the space between them. 

“I don’t know,” she answered softly. Lifting one shoulder in a weak shrug, her eyes darted between his as she said, “But who knows? I could meet a guy at the beach. One who never acts like a prick. One I can talk to for hours and hours about _ anything _. Someone who makes me feel safe, rather than adventurous.”

His eyes flickered up and down behind his glasses, searching her expression with deep consideration. After a pause, he frowned, head shaking ever so slightly. 

"I don't think a girl like you wants _ safe _. Not really. You're too interesting to be happy with some boring, average Joe..."

Her smile wavered. “Maybe…Or maybe I need a little bit of both. Someone free-spirited but down to earth, hilarious but sweet, safe and exhilarating. Not many people come to mind for all that.” 

Snorting at her own words, she curled her legs up into her seat and let her cheek rest flat against the headrest. “I should just face it; I’m doomed.”

“Sure sounds like it.” His eyes narrowed, shifting between her and Ben. “A series of antonyms _ would _ be hard to find in one person...” 

“But you’re lucky. You’ve already found your type, right?”

He took another sip of coffee, smiling wryly around his straw. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that...it probably won’t last.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” she quipped, though she couldn’t find it in herself to put any heart behind her words. 

Turning to the window, she felt her lips tug into a small, pleased smile. Her vision glazed as she stared out the window. Trees, cars, signs. They all passed in a dizzying blur. She barely saw them, mind racing through what she’d said. What they’d _ both _ said. 

But it wasn’t long before her thoughts shifted back to Ben again, and soon enough, she was just going in circles. Kylo, Ben, Kylo. Even if she never found her perfect partner, she would always have these two. Vastly different yet wonderful in their own way.

A gruff laugh from the front seat interrupted her internal monologue. Her eyes snapped to Han, and she conceded her thought. 

She had _ three _ wonderful men in her life. And that was more than enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Jessa here! Julia and I hope you liked this chapter. Get ready for some NSFW-themed tags to be added when the next one drops. ;) 
> 
> If you would like to see Rey's locket, gifted to her by Ben in the last chapter, click [here](https://flic.kr/p/2icyUvc)!


	10. Beach Blast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is finally getting NSFW, folks. Be sure to review the tags!

Kylo’s conversation with Rey gnawed at the back of his mind for the rest of the drive. Or at least until the sleep deprivation got to him. He awoke with his neck cramped and his cheek smushed against scorching glass, through which sat a two-story, cream-colored bungalow. Palm trees partially secluded the property, and an attached stairway led up its side to a roof deck. A mom’s dream vacation home if he ever saw one.  
  
Yep, this had to be the place.  
  
He slung his bags over his shoulder and trudged inside on autopilot, not thinking to stay behind and help Rey as Ben did. The entire first floor had an open floor plan with nearly the entire back wall made out of glass. Light reflected off the sea and sparkled off the crisp white walls, making him squint even behind his sunglasses. When he looked to his right, he found two glass doors, behind which sat a picturesque office.

“Han and I will be in the master bedroom upstairs,” Leia said behind him, though he had a pretty good guess she was addressing Rey. “There’s two bedrooms downstairs, and Amila said the office has a futon. The boys can fight over that one.”

“I can take the futon--” Rey began to protest, but Kylo didn’t stay to hear out the rest of their civil debate. He dashed straight into the nearest bedroom, slammed his bags on the bed, and called base.  
  
Ben (the savage) had no respect for base. Nor dibs, for that matter. He scrambled inside a second later with some bullshit rationalization, and before you could say ‘well,_ actually_’, a screaming match erupted. 

“For Christ’s sake, Leia!” Han was just audible through the glass. “Did you really bring us to_ another _place that didn’t have enough rooms?”

* * *

Ben resigned himself to the fact he’d be sleeping on the futon. Kylo had gotten to the room first, and clearly wasn’t about to give it up for anything. But after being shoved in the back of the car, squished between coolers and suitcases for five hours, and _still _carrying Rey’s luggage after all that, he deserved to be a little petty. Maybe get in a punch or two.  
  
Unfortunately, not even that could last long before Kylo had him in a headlock.

“If you’re so desperate to have this room…I’ll just share the bed with Rey,” he hissed, pinning Ben to the floor. “How would you like that, hm?”

Before Ben could bite out a reply, bare skin and black polyester flashed past the door. They froze at the same time. 

Ben wriggled out from under Kylo and rushed to the hall just in time to see Rey slip out the back door. Through the window, even at a distance, the sight of her prancing away in a little ruffled bikini was enough to make his mouth go dry. 

“Nice…”  
  
Ben cringed as Kylo squeezed in beside him to watch, eyes wide and lips curved in a disgusting grin. God. He could at least _try _to hide it. 

Still, Ben rushed back to the room to change to his trunks. He’d outrun his brother this time, even if there was no real prize for getting to Rey first.  
  
They squeezed out the door about the same time. In his mad dash, Ben kicked up a mountain of sand, which left Kylo loudly cursing behind him as some of it got in his eyes.  
  
When he reached the edge of the water, Rey rose up out of the waves, and he swore his heart punched his uvula. The world might as well have gone into slow-motion as water rolled off her toned skin. Her bikini wasn’t particularly stringy or translucent, but to say it left little to the imagination was an understatement, considering his imagination had to work overtime until now. 

Her hand rose to shield her eyes as she called out over the crashing waves. “You two done squabbling for a minute?” 

“Uh-huh...for now,” Kylo panted, catching up beside Ben. “I think...we found something...we can agree upon…”  
  
His eyes raked over her body before Ben elbowed him sharply in the side. 

How she hadn’t called his brother out on his ogling yet, he had no idea. Maybe Kylo did it so often she thought it was normal. Maybe she didn’t think anything of it, since she’d never had a family before and didn’t know how things were_ supposed_ to be. Oh God, he was fucking everything up for her. She’d end up in therapy for years and it’d be all his fault…  
  
“Oh?” Rey cocked her head with a little smile. “What did you agree upon?” 

Ben cut in before Kylo could even take a breath. “That we wanted to get in the water. It’s been such a long time, you know…”

“Then let’s go!” she cheered and dashed back into the surf.  
  
Ben almost toppled into the rolling white foam as Kylo pushed past him to jump in after Rey. He landed with an obnoxious splash while Ben stepped forward more slowly, adjusting bit by bit to the cool water when he was hit by a sudden wave. He would’ve fully expected Kylo to splash him, but it was Rey. Snorting at her antics, he flung water right back at her and joined them where it was about waist-deep.

With his main focus on defense, Ben’s splashes remained playful, whereas Kylo’s arm swung like a catapult to hurl the largest waves possible. At one point, he even laid back and cycled his legs like he was in the Tour de France, churning up water whilst keeping himself mostly shielded. 

It was unclear who won this battle (though Kylo, of course, claimed it was him). Once they’d exhausted themselves, they waded around for another half hour before Ben pushed through the shallows back to dry land.

“Better go inside before I end up like Kylo on our last family vacation.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, following him up onto the beach.

“Oh, he just decided to fall asleep on the sand. No shade, no sunblock, _ nothing. _He got burnt to a crisp and spent the whole week bitching and bathing in aloe.”

While Rey bit back a laugh, Kylo zoomed past Ben. “First shower’s mine!” 

Ben sighed and pushed his legs to go faster, but after two aching strides, decided it wasn’t worth it. He had no energy left for another brotherly brawl. Rey, however, had plenty of energy.

“Oh no you don’t!” she shouted as she took off after Kylo.  
  
Ben had barely brushed the sand off his feet and stepped into the AC when Rey tackled Kylo. He crashed to the floor with a yelp and twisted in her grasp, his wet body squeaking against the linoleum as he tried to pin her beneath him. 

“I called dibs first! You’ll just have to wait your turn, little girl...”

Ben, not being an idiot, thought to step in. No doubt his brother would turn this into yet another game of ‘Let’s See How Gross I Can Be And Still Get Away With It’. 

Speaking of which, how_ did_ he think he’d get away with this? Their parents had to be just around the corner--  
  
Or not. When Ben glanced out the front door, the car was gone. Han and Leia had probably taken off to visit one of the local watering holes. Meanwhile, his siblings were rather _preoccupied,_ and a hot shower was waiting ten feet away. 

Eh, Rey could handle herself. Even without her constantly reminding them of that fact, she’d more than proved it by now, at least where Kylo was concerned. Besides, Ben deserved to be selfish for a change. Padding quietly to the hall bath, he shut the door and locked it behind him. 

* * *

Rey broke into a maniacal laugh when her tackle was met with a startled yelp. She’d never heard Kylo make such a noise, and it amused her to no end. 

They writhed on the floor as they fought for dominance. His expression shifted between strained snarls and triumphant smirks as he grasped her wrists and tried to wrestle her arms down. With one fluid movement, she twisted out of his grip and rolled on top of him. She may have been quite a bit smaller than her opponent, but she was strong. Lips spread in a breathless smirk, she tried not to notice the warmth of his skin against hers, or the fact that they were barely clothed.

It was in that moment of distraction, of her trying _ not _to be distracted, that Kylo flipped her. Back cold against the floor and hair splayed in every direction, she struggled valiantly, but his weight kept her pinned.

Running water cut through the sound of their laboured breaths, and he glared towards the bathroom. “That sneaky bastard…”  
  
She kept up the fight as he shifted to straddle her fully. “I’m still going next!”

He raised a brow and shook his head, leaning even closer until his chest practically crushed hers. “Oh, I think the fuck _ not _. The youngest goes last, that’s the rules.” 

She grunted, but rather than acknowledging the timbre of his voice, or the growing pressure between her thighs, she focused on the sheer weight of his body. Bloody _ hell. _ He might as well have backed a car over her. 

Craning her neck to escape their proximity, her lips curled into a slight smirk as she stared back down the hallway. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that a gentleman lets ladies go first?” 

“I don’t know, never had a sister to open doors for…”

She managed to free one hand out from under him, but only succeeded in making him rub against her more to chase it. As his fingers closed around her wrist, the combined tickle of his wild hair against her cheek and his hot breath in her ear made an involuntary shiver race down her spine.

“And you should know by now I never cared much about being a gentleman.”

Her eyes darted around as her sun-kissed body flushed hotter, and her voice struggled to keep steady. “Well, maybe it’s time you learned–”

She cut herself off with a gasp as he released her wrist only to yank the loose tie of her bikini top. The knot came free in an instant, and her free hand quickly reached up to cover herself, but Kylo’s chest was still too tightly pressed against her to allow her arm to wedge between them.  
  
“What are you doing?!” she hissed, wriggling against him with renewed vigor.

He barked out a laugh and held himself down on her harder. “I’m winning, that’s what.” 

“You’re ridiculous!” Still, she grinned despite herself. His laugh was infectious, especially to the part of her that enjoyed this on a very basic, _ childish _level. She hadn’t wrestled like this since she was small. She’d forgotten that it was actually pretty fun. 

But then there was that traitorous little side of her that enjoyed their position for entirely different reasons. And enjoyed it too much. Her lips parted, panting in small bursts that had nothing to do with exertion. She reveled in the electricity coursing between their bodies, and when their eyes met, her heart stopped.  
  
His gaze was dark, hyper-focused on her with that telltale intensity she had come to expect from him, but with an undercurrent of…_Something else. _She swallowed thickly as her awareness shifted to a part of him that pressed quite tightly against her. A _harder _part of him. When she looked up again, his eyes fixated on her mouth. His chest shook with a ragged breath, and slowly, ever so lowly, he leaned down. 

Maker, she wanted him to kiss her so badly. She should be smacking him away, or at least dodging him with a teasing laugh. Instead, her eyes slipped closed, her chin tilted up, and she braced for collision. His hips pushed slightly forward, grinding his hardness against her as he leaned in closer, closer….

He was less than an inch away when the bathroom door burst open. She flinched, wide eyes turned sharply on Ben.

Wrapped in a towel from the waist down, he loomed over them, eyes narrowed and lip curled. 

“Still going at it, I see,” he muttered. “I wonder if anyone won…”

When he trudged off to the bedroom to change, Rey took advantage of Kylo’s distraction and flipped him off her. Sprinting into the bathroom, her hand poised to slide the lock home, but she wasn’t quick enough. 

His body slammed against the door and sent her stumbling. She only had a moment to recover before he was inside, looking smug and then– _ Looking at her chest. _ It was then she belatedly noticed the cold air prickling across her skin. Her bikini top had completely slipped off in her mad scrambling. He stared– _ actually _stared with his jaw hung open like a dolt. 

Cheeks hot and heart threatening to explode from shame, she threw one arm over herself and snatched a washcloth. There was barely enough material to stretch over her breasts. She didn’t have much to hide, she knew, but it was still incredibly embarrassing. Especially after what had just happened…

Which had been _ wrong. _ Ben might as well have dumped ice water over her when he appeared. What was about to happen between her and Kylo could never, _ ever _ reach fruition. 

If only her traitorous body were on the same page. Her pulse still drummed at the surface of her skin, which tingled everywhere that Kylo had touched. Speaking of which...she glanced down. 

Kylo’s mood had not been affected at _ all _ by his brother’s interruption. While she gulped, he smirked. 

“Even though I _definitely _won that fight–and called dibs first anyway–I’ll be nice and propose a compromise…” He motioned towards the shower. “We can both fit. And after what just happened, don’t pretend that the idea would disgust you so much...”

“You know that’s a stupid idea,” she hissed, and he cocked his head.

“Is it, though?” He reached behind him, and the door locked with a soft ‘click’. 

“Ben would notice.”

“Do you think I care if Ben notices? He won’t do shit.” 

As Kylo advanced, her heart picked up its thunderous tempo, and she took two hesitant steps back. “Don’t you remember what happened last time?” 

This should’ve felt as frightening as the last time he cornered her. But that had been ages ago, and _ so much _had changed between now and then. 

“Ben will think you’re up to your old tricks again,” she added with a frown.

“But I _ am _ up to my old tricks…” he mused, then bit his lip, eyes scanning over her body again as he took another step closer. “He saw us on the floor and didn’t intervene. Anyone could tell you weren’t in any position you didn’t want to be in…so if he knows we're here together...don’t expect him to try and save you.” 

Her back collided with the cold tile walls when she retreated another step. She hissed and jerked forward, shivering where she stood. Now she really had nowhere to go. The sink lay to her left and the large shower waited her right, open wide and emanating with with just a little residual warmth.

Kylo crowded her once again, and when his eyes raked over her, she found herself flooded with the same satisfaction she’d felt when he’d stared at her on the beach. An insane voice in her head begged her to drop the washcloth so she could see that awestruck expression once more. Instead, she clutched it tighter to her chest. 

“I don’t need to be _ saved. _ I’m more worried about what he may do to _ you,” _she shot back. He rested his hand against the tile beside her, caging her even further with his body.

“Oh, so it’s me that needs to be saved from _ him?” _ He snorted and shook his head. “Touching as it is to have you worry for me, I can handle Ben.”

His hand fell from the wall onto her shoulder, then dragged slowly up her neck to cup her chin. Stray black locks brushed slightly against her forehead as he bent down to look her in the eyes. “You’re not going to let him ruin our fun, are you?”

“This–This is more than just _ fun _though, isn’t it?” She tripped over her words when his hand grazed her hip. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as his touch shifted higher, and she gripped the towel so tightly her fingers strained from the effort. 

“Mm…depends on your definition of fun, I suppose…”

“_ Fun _being more than just…just wrestling on the ground.” Her gaze wandered with his, taking in the sudden, sun-kissed appearance to his skin. He felt warmer than usual, too, though that may have been due to their shared closeness.

“Yes…it’s going to be more than that…” he whispered with a slight nod, eyes fixed intently on hers. “_ So _much more.”

“I know that I’ve only just recently become a part of a real family, but I’m pretty sure _ this _is taking it too far, isn’t it?” 

She was grasping for straws and she knew it. Kylo had made it obvious he didn’t give a damn about family ties, and he’d probably worked out she couldn’t will herself to feel as disgusted as she should. Life had given her no basis for such innate, ‘common sense’ judgments. But she couldn’t just give in…could she? 

Sure enough, Kylo only chuckled at her question. “I’ve never been close with my family. So you see, I have to balance that out by being _ extremely _ close with you.” 

Something tugged at her little towel, and her muscles faltered for a moment when she glanced down to find his fingers curled tight around the material. Clutching the towel tighter to her chest, she frantically searched his eyes, but didn’t know what she should be looking for. Danger? Red flags? They were well past that point. 

He frowned slightly and released the cloth, but his other hand remained on her jaw in a gentle yet steady hold. Her eyes were intent on his as he leaned in, then fluttered closed when his lips brushed the corner of her mouth. The ghostly pressure somehow relaxed and excited her at the same time. With a soft sigh, she gave into her baser instincts and slowly, carefully, nudged her face towards his. 

The force in which Kylo kissed her nearly sent her head slamming back against the tiled wall, but she surged forward, seeking out his lips with equal desperation. She might’ve expected his kiss to be rough, but his movements felt surprisingly sloppy. Inexperienced, even. Still, raw passion easily made up for that, and a whimper escaped her as his mouth moved over hers with reckless abandon.

His palm slid from her jaw to her back and yanked her tightly against him. At the same time, his free hand tugged at the towel with more and more insistence until finally, she let it go. 

She clung to him desperately while he dragged her towards the shower. His tongue pushed forward, past the seam of her lips, and a low moan escaped him as he explored her mouth. 

Her tongue clashed against his in a battle of wills; a new form of wrestling. Her fingers raked through his wild, salt-crusted hair, one hand settling on the nape of his neck while the other worked its way back down and to his chest. His muscles flexed beneath her palm as he reached for the shower handle. It turned with a squeak, and a heavy, hot stream rained down upon them. 

She groaned softly against his mouth as his hands covered her chest, her back arching into him as shivers shocked her spine. His teeth closed over her lip, and she returned the bite, smirking at the feel of his teeth on her skin, and hers on his.

He broke the kiss and she whined, only for her jaw to drop open when he tugged down his swim shorts. 

_ Oh. _

Her eyes snapped back up to his, and she was hit with a second onslaught of nerves when his fingers hooked under the last scrap of fabric protecting her modesty. Despite what he’d said before, that their fun would be so much more than mere play, the naive part of her hadn’t quite expected they’d go this far. 

Yet it also felt as if it wasn’t far enough. All her life she’d wanted to touch and be touched, and no matter how much she’d tried to suppress it, she ached to feel him, _ all _of him against her. So after a moments’ hesitation, she met his eyes and stepped out of the bottoms.

Her skin crawled and her heart fluttered as she stood bare under his scrutiny. No man had seen her nude before, and while all he could really see was a soft triangle of hair, she might as well have been put in stirrups. At least she had an attractive doctor. His eyes drank her in slowly, tracking the water as it flowed between her flushed breasts, over slight curve of her abdomen, and disappeared between her thighs. 

The ferocity of the kiss he gave her then was enough to cement the fact that her tomboyish, natural appearance pleased him. Unbidden, a flash of the image of that redhead came to her mind, and she smirked against his lips. 

“Thought yours was the more curvy type,” she murmured. Her hands worked their way down his back, just barely brushing over his buttocks.

“You’re so gullible, sis…” he chuckled. “Can’t you tell I made all that up?”

Gasping sharply, she smacked the side of his head with a bit more force than intended.

“Are you _ kidding me?” _After a moment, a laugh burst out of her chest. “How did I not see that coming?”

He rubbed his head where she smacked him, then scowled and flipped her around to smack her right back on the ass. She jolted with a yelp. The sting quickly dissolved from pain to...something else. Why did she want him to do that again?

His lips brushed her ear as leaned over her, holding her in place against the glass of the shower wall. “I had to make you jealous somehow...clearly, it worked…”

That telltale hardness pressed against her, and she bit her lip, then scoffed at his insinuation. “I wasn’t _ jealous… _I was just…drawing comparisons. You’re the one who lied about it.”

He bit the back of her neck, slightly harder and more possessively than the nips he’d delivered before. She moaned deeply and much too loudly. The slight pain, the breathy growl against her skin, the sheer animalistic nature of the bite had her knees nearly buckling under her. 

“Now you’re the liar…do you know what lying gets you?” He ground himself harder against her backside, then pulled back, only to deliver another slap to her ass.

She curled her toes, bottom stinging and warm, pleasure coiled tight in her gut. His chest vibrated against her back as his teeth caught her neck again. Jaw slacked open, her breath left her in sharp pants and her legs jellified. Only his hands, firm on her hips, kept her from collapsing.

When she met his eyes over her shoulder, he pressed himself against her slippery form again, and one hand snaked around her waist to dive between her thighs. Her bottom lip was going to be bitten bloody, but _ damn _if it wasn’t worth it.

A soft keening sound escaped her as his fingers ran softly, hesitantly over her outer folds, then jolted when they pressed against her with sudden confidence. His breathing fell ragged and uneven against her back. Her forehead softly smacked against the glass pane as she arched into his touch, seeking more of that delicious friction, until the slight rub of his length between her thighs made her gasp.

He slid against her more purposefully, and a quiet, strangled moan escaped her, her body _ desperate _ for more contact. It felt so good to push back against him, even as a part of her screamed it was so _ wrong. _

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” her traitorous mouth whispered. 

“Bit late for that, don’t you think?” One finger dipped inside her as he arched over her further, humming close to her ear. “Fuck…you’re so wet for me…”

Her body welcomed him with no resistance, and her breath fogged up the glass as her hips rocked on his finger. “That feels…so good…” He was right. There was _ no way _she could bring herself to stop this now. 

A low groan rumbled in his throat as he pushed his finger deeper, curling it slightly until he hit in the spot that made her clench around him. He pumped it slowly in and out, helped along by her movements, then slipped in a second digit. 

“So tight…” he panted against her ear as his fingers spread ever so slightly inside her. “God, Rey….I can’t wait to fuck you…I wonder if you’ll even be able to take it…”

His words flooded her core with more heat, but when she fully processed the implication, a small surge of panic laced her desire. She wanted him–_ ached _ for him, but then there was _ that. _If she knew anything for certain, it was that she couldn’t go all the way with him. Not yet. 

“I can’t–” Her voice was a small whimper. She craned her neck back again, tried to look at him properly. “Kylo, I can’t go– I can’t do that. Not…not yet.” 

“O-okay…” He nodded quickly and swallowed. Body stiff behind her, his voice was hesitant as he asked, “Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes..! Maker, yes,” she breathed, and boldly reached back to stroke his length. As she marveled at the silky smooth texture of it, he let out a strangled moan, hips bucking into her hand.

She grinned and stroked him more eagerly. It was such a strange sensation: like velvet draped over a metal pole. When books described a man as hard, they meant _ hard. _She swallowed thickly, wondering what it would be like to have him inside of her.

_ Another day. _

His thumb found that sensitive bundle of nerves and she threw back her head, water droplets falling over her lips and into her open mouth. Her throat strained to keep from crying out as sparkling tremors chased up and down her spine. So close, so _ close– _

The rhythm of her hand over his cock faltered as the pressure built in her abdomen, but he didn’t seem to mind. His thumb just circled faster, his fingers curled deeper, and her walls clenched harder around him as she begged him not to stop. Her body temperature rose higher, higher, higher until she crashed down with a keening cry that she had to muffle with her hand. 

She’d never had an orgasm like that in her life. It ripped through her like a tidal wave, leaving her a boneless, euphoric, fluttering mess. Dizzied in the aftermath, the shower blurred around her as Kylo spun her in his arms, kissing her with an intensity that sent her mind once again to the clouds.

When the kiss finally broke, her awareness shifted to his hardness, swollen and straining against her abdomen. 

“Let me return the favor…” she murmured and sunk to her knees, which were already spent and ready to give out on her any moment as it was. Her eyes stayed trained on him as she carefully, experimentally flicked out her tongue to taste him.

Satisfaction coursed through her at the sharp sound of his breath. He watched her mouth with rapt, almost _ worshipful _attention, arm stretched out to steady himself against the shower wall. A grin spread her lips even wider as she licked strips up and down his length while working the base with her hand. 

While emboldened by his awe, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing. Her knowledge mainly derived from trashy romance novels and the stories that she’d overheard other girls gossiping about. 

She glanced up periodically to gauge his reaction. Every time she did, his eyes met hers, and the intensity of his gaze, the way he drank in every single movement, left her cheeks burning. 

As his hips bucked, she finally wrapped her lips around his tip. Her tongue flattened experimentally against it, and she took more of him into her mouth in small, careful increments. 

Her eyes snapped up to his face as her free hand reached to fondle his balls. Again, his breathless reaction spurred her on, and with a smirk creasing the corner of her eyes, she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked him harder.

A stream of curses and other incoherent whispers flowed freely from his lips. He leaned back against the wall, mindlessly clawing at it until he thought to hold onto her hair instead. It wasn’t long before he--consciously or unconsciously, she couldn’t tell--slightly pulled her forward.

Realizing right away what he was silently asking for, she slipped her eyes closed and concentrated on her breathing while trying to take him all the way to the back of her mouth. 

His fingers tightened in her hair as she bobbed her head a bit faster, and he let out another ragged moan. “Fuck… Rey… I’m… I’m….”

While she knew what that meant, it didn’t lay out what she should do about it. Was she supposed to pull away now? Or would that ruin his mood? His fingers were coiled in her hair to a point that it was almost painful, but did that mean that he wanted her to stay like this? The idea of his cum painting her throat made her thighs rub together with need, but at the same time, she didn’t know how she’d react to the taste. 

Better safe than sorry. He hissed at the loss of her mouth before she brought both hands to his length, gripping tight and stroking quickly. His hips rocked back and forth, his fingers twisting restlessly in her hair, until that wave finally hit him.

His release took her by surprise even though she’d been expecting it. He cried out her name much, much more loudly than he should have, but she hardly noticed, distracted by the hot, sticky spurts she’d quite stupidly aimed directly for her face. She jerked her head in time for his cum to land on the side of her jaw and neck, though one strand managed to capture the corner of her lips.

She brought a hand up to one of the stains, eyes wide as she looked to Kylo. The way he had shouted her name echoed in her ears now, and while it warmed her body to know she could please him so well, her muscles tensed to think Ben had heard them. 

“Sorry…” Kylo whispered, though his smirk said otherwise.

“You’re not even a little sorry.” She couldn’t actually be angry with him, not with that look in his eyes; the appreciative surveyance of the mess displayed on her body. 

He fell to his knees in front of her just as she reached for a cloth. She found herself unable to deny his kisses, even if they were getting in the way of cleaning up. 

“I couldn’t help it…” he murmured. “You were so good…so amazing…”

“So were you,” she hummed against his lips, then reached up to gently tap his cheek. “But we need to get out of here. _ Now.” _

The corner of his eyes creased, the subtlest of warnings before he slapped her ass. She squeaked and shot him a half-hearted scowl. Dragging the washcloth over her skin one more time, she was quick to follow him out of the shower and grab her towel. She looked around the room for stray evidence as she dried off. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary, other than the hand towel that had been unceremoniously discarded on the floor. She quickly put it back in its proper place. 

Wrapping the towel around herself securely, she tiptoed to the door and peeked her head out to see if the coast was clear (it was). 

Looking to Kylo, she murmured, “I’m gonna go change.”

The door to her room was open when she padded out to the hall, but on a cursory glance back, she found the other door--where Kylo would have to get dressed--closed. That meant only one thing.

Ben was inside.


	11. Nuclear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit hits the fan.  
No, seriously, it gets real. If you're easily triggered by violence, skip at least the first half of this chapter, there'll be plenty of dialogue in the second half to explain what happened without all the visuals.  
And if you wanted a purely fluffy/smutty Breylo fic, I'm sorry, we're angsty bitches here at forceofduality. Hope the rest of y'all enjoy the pain train.

When Kylo opened the door, Ben was crouched on the edge of the bed, eyes red, cheeks wet, and fists strangling the sheets. The concentrated fire of his stare almost rendered his twin to ash.

Kylo’s shoulderblades brushed the walls as he inched over to grab his bag, then slipped back towards the door, silently surrendering the room to Ben. It wasn’t enough. Just before he made his escape, Ben lunged. 

Kylo landed flat on his back after the first blow. His head lolled against the hardwood, eyes dazed, before Ben delivered a brutal kick to his side. His cry echoed in Ben’s ears as he leapt down to finish the job. 

His knuckles soon split from pounding into his twin’s face, but adrenaline muted all sensation. At least before Kylo flipped him with his legs and returned the beating. Their fights had never extended beyond punches and kicks. And four out of five times, Kylo would win due to his superior strength. But this time, Ben grabbed his arm mid-swing, and bit down so hard copper exploded on his tongue. Kylo jerked and howled before kneeing him straight in the crotch. 

A different scream rippled at the very edges of his consciousness--a feminine plea, a protest, a command--but Ben ignored it. Kylo did too. They slammed each other against the floor over and over, filling the air with awful cracks and yelps and snarls. Anyone who heard the fight without seeing would’ve thought it was two wolves rather than two men. 

Ben’s knee hit the dresser and something smashed. Pungent musk singed his nose and made his eyes water. To his right lay the shattered remains of a cologne bottle, and as Kylo’s elbow pressed down on his throat, he grabbed the biggest shard. 

One, upward slash, and Kylo fell back. The air smelt of iron. Another bellow, more inhuman and prolonged than the others, rung in Ben’s ears, but he wasn’t done yet. Pinning his brother once more, he wrapped his hands around his throat. 

Kylo clawed at his fingers as they constricted his windpipe. Eyes wide, face pouring with blood, he gasped for air that refused to come. 

Darkness burned through Ben’s veins as he squeezed tighter and tighter. Kylo had been the bane of his existence since they took their first breaths. He made life unbearable, raining down fresh torment every chance he got, just because he _ could _. Their parents gave him more than he ever deserved only to receive ingratitude and verbal abuse. He dragged Ben into hell more times than anyone could count. He was a sadistic leech who never cared about anyone but himself. And now…now he had to ruin their sister too, using her body like it was his personal plaything. He fucked her just to prove he could, to fuel his ego, to take a stab at the one person Ben loved more than anything in the world. But Ben refused to roll over for him this time.

Kylo would never hurt anyone ever again…

This was the last thing he thought before Rey slammed into his side, and he skidded across the floor. Wet sputters and gasps sounded a few feet away. For a moment, Ben was knocked back into reality, realizing what he’d been about to do…but his guilt didn’t last long before he turned on Rey instead. 

“How could you do it?” he seethed as he crawled towards her. “How the fuck could you do that to me?!” 

_ “ _Ben–” She choked on his name. “Ben, please...” 

“Please_ what?” _

“Ben, Ben we didn’t…we didn’t--”

He didn’t move any closer, but his nostrils flared, eyes cold and hard. “I know…what I heard...”

As Rey scooted away, Kylo dragged himself between her and Ben, limply shielding her with his body. As if _ he _ was her protector. As if Ben was the one she needed protection from. 

"It isn't what you think-- It wasn't like--" she faltered, and a horrible smile twisted Ben’s mouth. 

“You really think I’m stupid, don’t you? Stupid or _ fucking deaf. _”

"No, _ no _. I'm not denying something happened-- It's just-- not--"

“Not what? Not my concern? Nothing I should _ react _ to?” His palm slapped forward to pull himself closer to her, but landed in a warm, red pool. Kylo looked paler than usual.

Rey flinched, eyes wide as they flicked down to his bloodied hand. When she looked to Kylo, finally focusing on him, a strangled gasp escaped her. "_ Fuck _ \-- Kylo, get up. We need to go to the hospital. _ Now _." 

Nothing seemed real as Ben gazed over his twin. Purple bruises laced his skin like a chain of large pearls wrapped several times around his throat. A shallow gash split his face from his right brow bone to his jaw, still dripping and jagged as lightning. Kylo blinked one eye at a time, neither fully able to focus on Ben, nor Rey when she dragged him up. He had just enough sense (or a strange flash of modesty) to reach for his clothes bag before staggering to his feet. A smeared red trail followed his footsteps as they left Ben behind.

* * *

Kylo didn’t remember falling asleep. He couldn’t tell if it had just been hours or a minute, but before his eyes fluttered open, he was aware of two things: a sharp ache on the side of his face, and a warm body beside him. It was the body that made him flinch. But when his hand brushed against smooth, soft hair, and his eyes finally cracked open to find Rey curled up against his chest, he melted into the pillows. 

“How long have you been here?” he murmured, voice hoarse with sleep.

Her head whipped up. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, but relief colored her expression. “Hey there...You’ve been out for a while. Maybe a few hours? The doctors gave you some strong pills to help with the pain. Do you— do you need some more? Are you okay?”

“Doctors...?” He squinted, then hummed as his memories slowly appeared through the fog. “Right...well, they seem to be wearing off...” 

That was probably what woke him up, come to think of it. Still, the returning sting wasn’t half as bad as when it was fresh, when it burned like the bite of a viper. 

“Just another one of those and I’ll be fine,” he said, and gestured to the bottle on the nightstand. “Probably won’t even need them after a day or two...cut myself more than once before, I heal fast...”

She wasted no time sitting up to grab the pills and glass of water from the nightstand. “Right, I’m not surprised, but...the cut...there’s a few stitches and the uh— the doctors said you shouldn’t emote too much over the next couple days.”

When he swallowed the pill, the stitches stretched a bit, but he drank through the pain until the glass was empty. 

“That’s going to be hard,” he said, already making the mistake of showing a tiny smile. “Ow.”

She winced sympathetically, bringing her hand up to gently rest against his good cheek. 

“No emoting,” she murmured, and leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“That...” He breathed when her lips parted from his, heart fluttering and jaw strained. “Makes it even harder...not to smile, you know?” 

When she pulled back, there was a small grin on her lips. She returned the glass to the nightstand and carefully pressed him back against the pillows. “You should rest a bit more. You’ll heal faster.”

He leaned back as she bid, but shook his head. Sleep wouldn’t come until the pain faded again. And considering he _ had _ slept for a few hours already, he had some questions. “Have you talked to _ him _ since we got back?”

Smile faltering, she shook her head. “No...no. The door to his room was closed when we came back. I brought you in here and— and didn’t want to leave you alone.”

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed, but he certainly wasn’t surprised. “Figures,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Hope he fucking rots in there...”

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. When she spoke up again, it was in a lowered tone, her gaze pinned soberly on his.  
  
“Kylo, what...what _happened?_ When I walked in, you were already rolling around on the ground wailing on each other…” 

He let out a dull sigh. “What do you think happened? He heard us. So he jumped me.”

“But I never thought he could—” She gestured to his face with a pained grimace. “And the next second, his fingers were around your throat and I—I thought he was going to_ kill _you.”

Now it was impossible to keep the emotion from his expression. He told himself this was like any other situation where he needed to lie, to keep a poker face. But as the drugs kicked back in, focus became harder and harder to grasp. 

“I’ve had people threaten to kill me before. Or just wish me dead. But never actually...” The muscles around his mouth and jaw twitched, as if words were fighting to escape. When he didn’t release them, they climbed higher, springing from the corners of his eyes as tears. He shuddered. “It really felt like—for a second, it felt like it was over. It got dark. Like that’s it, my whole life, just...cut right there.”

Expression pinching, she gently stroked her thumb along his good cheekbone. Her eyes flicked between his, breath caught. She swallowed once, twice, pushing past the lump quickly forming in her throat. “When I saw— when I saw how hard he was choking you I...I just had to make him stop. Then he turned to me with this_ look _ in his eyes and...” 

“You thought he’d do the same to you.” 

She gave a weak nod before a ghost of a smile flickered over her lips. “You still tried to protect me, though....”

The unmarred edge of Kylo’s lips lifted in an almost-smile. “I didn’t have a choice.” 

As broken and useless as he’d been at that moment, he had to at least try to protect her. Even if she ultimately didn’t need it. 

After a pause, he glanced to the door, expression wary again. “So...how, exactly, do we know we’re safe now? There’s no way in hell I’m bringing the cops into this, but...I’m kind of in a vulnerable state, here. It’d be all too easy for him to smother me in my sleep.” 

She pursed her lips as she followed his gaze toward the door as well. Her eyes were dubious, but she didn’t dismiss his fears completely. “Maybe...when our parents come home, I’ll talk to him. Somewhere they can’t hear, obviously, but...”

“They’re_ still _ not home?” Why was he surprised? They never were home when he needed them. “What are you going to say?”

“I...I’m not sure what to say, or do. I don’t know if I should be angry, or apologize…”

He jerked up at that, almost sitting all the way up before a sore rib made him wince. “I don’t know what you should say....but I know for damn sure you shouldn’t _ apologize _. You’re his sister, not his cheating wife.“

“Woah, careful...” She frowned and gently pushed him back into the covers. Color bloomed on her cheeks a moment later, and she shook her head. “I’m also _ your _ sister. And he heard— well— y’know. He must be so disgusted...”

He raised his good brow and snorted. “He’s not disgusted, Rey, he’s jealous. _ Murderously _ jealous. You heard what he said: ‘How could you do this to _ me?’ _ Like you already belonged to him. Like you _ owed _ him.” 

She froze. Blinking. “I thought— yeah. I thought maybe he had feelings for me, but....” She ran a hand over her face and groaned. “That just makes this all even worse.”

"Worse for him, maybe. Better for us. Good thing he can't report a crime he's also guilty of..."

She blanched. “But what if he tells Han and Leia...”

"He won't. They would never believe him anyway--well, they might believe him over me, but they certainly won't take his word over the _ new _ favorite child."

“What, me?” A stunned smile quirked the edge of her lips. “I thought your jealous streak was finally at an end, big brother...”

"It _ is _, but the fact remains. That's the order of favorite children." He shrugged, then took her hand. "And you're my favorite by a long shot."

She rolled her eyes, but threaded her fingers through his and blessed him with another peck on the lips. “Well that’s no surprise…”

The painful grin that came from her affection only faded at the sound of an engine outside. 

"Fuck." He stole another kiss while he could, squeezing her tight before reluctantly releasing her. "Tell them I went to the wrong side of town and got jumped, then climbed a fence and cut my face. And that I'm fine, I don't want to press charges, I didn't see them too well anyway--you know the drill. Also, I'm passed out, so _ no, _they can't come in and see me."

She let out an incredulous laugh and shook her head slowly. “Why do I have a bad feeling you’re used to making up stories to tell your parents?” 

“Ugh, now you’re really starting to sound like Dad. You can’t have a ‘bad feeling’ about an obvious fact...” 

She just stuck out her tongue and jumped out of bed, checking herself in the mirror as she prepared to leave. He subtly clutched one of the pillows closer in preparation for her absence. It’d have to do until she returned--_ if _she returned.

“Alright, wish me luck,” she murmured. Before her hand could touch the doorknob, he stopped her with the strongest puppy dog look his wound could afford. 

“Think you can sneak in later? For me?” 

Her shoulders lifted with a long-suffering sigh. “I’ll try. Promise.”

Another grin, another wince. He rubbed his stitches and tried to smooth his expression. Now, he might actually get around to healing up.


	12. Interchangeable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride from hell isn't over yet...

So Kylo got jumped by random muggers. And happened to cut his face on a fence._ That _was the story they were going with? Rey’s rushed explanation didn’t sound at all convincing to Ben, but Han and Leia seemed to buy it. As their footsteps trailed upstairs, the tension brewing in the pit of his stomach evaporated, but was just as quickly replaced with another weight—one almost as crushing as the fear of going to jail. 

_ I almost killed him. And they covered for me. _ This guilt was different than the kind he’d been wrestling with for months. He hadn’t just _ imagined _ doing something awful. He’d done it.

_ But so did Kylo. _

Ben tore at his hair, snarling under his breath as he rolled onto his side and curled up tighter. How was he supposed to feel? Because he felt everything all at once, and each emotion somehow felt wrong. Unearned, invalid, shameful.

_ Fuck these glass walls. _ No one ventured far enough down the hall to peer in at him yet, but he still felt like he was on display, like some science experiment. A domestic dog turned rabid.

_ I have to get out of here. _

The opportunity didn’t arise until the lights in the living room flicked off, and a door closed downstairs. He could only assume it was Rey’s. Carefully, he stood to unlock his door, peering far into the dark hall to ensure its emptiness before he rushed out the backdoor. Warm, salty air filled his lungs and calmed his nerves, but only just. He always felt safest when he was up high somewhere. Circling the house to the stairs, he kept each step towards the roof slow and careful, but glanced over his shoulder when he should’ve been looking ahead. 

“Jesus-!” 

He almost toppled back down at the sight of Rey perched against the bannister. Shit. What should he say? Even ‘sorry’ sounded absurd now, coming from him. So he turned around, ready to retreat back into the superficial comfort of his glass cage.

“Ben? Ben, wait!”

His shoulders raised almost to his ears as her feet landed behind him, his spine stiff with one foot on the next step down.

“Can we talk? Please?”

Talk? He didn’t know if he could. But he was really in no position to deny her anything, even if she _ had _— 

_ Don’t think about it, don’t think about it... _ he chanted internally, swallowing hard before he faced her. “I-I didn’t know you were up here, I didn’t mean to, um...intrude.” He flexed his hands at his sides, eyes set on the distant moonlit waves.

“You’re not...I was actually working up the nerve to come talk to you, so...” Her movements were a bit jerky, awkward, as she gestured toward the deck chairs. “Do you want to sit, maybe?”

He swallowed again, but a lump remained lodged in his throat as he stepped forward. “Sure...” He took a seat, hands wrung in his lap as he again stared at the ground. 

_ Who talks first? _

Rey finally did, but her voice was strained. “Kylo came up with a story about getting mugged so uh— so...yeah. Han and Leia believed it.”

“I heard.” He chewed on his lower lip, knee bouncing with excess energy. “Um. Thanks for that, I guess.”

“Yeah, no pro—“ she began, but stopped herself. Seemed even she, in her infinite forgiveness, couldn’t just brush this off.

“What happened, Ben? You— what you did...The doctors didn’t understand why we weren’t pursuing the ‘muggers’. I think they thought I might’ve done it until they saw I didn’t have any marks.”

His fingers unwound and he wrapped his arms around himself, face turned fully away from her now. “You know what happened. You were there. And honestly, I could ask you the same question…”

“What happened between Kylo and I isn’t— It’s not what you think. Why did you attack him? Obviously you heard us, but what exactly do you think you heard?”

One second, Ben almost felt like himself again—able to see his fault as well as the fault of others. But the moment she _ denied _ it again, he grit his teeth and fumed. 

“Why are you still lying to me? You _ know _ why I attacked him, you know what I heard...! Why do I have to spell out the details?” He finally met her gaze, eyes blazing and at his wits’ end. “If you hate me now, that’s well within your right—but do _ not _ treat me like an idiot.”

“I’m not, Ben, I— I’m not denying something happened, alright? But it...I don’t think you would have attacked him unless you thought he’d— that I didn’t—“ 

He narrowed his eyes, fingers curled tight at the edge of his seat. She wasn’t denying anything, but she kept saying he was wrong, like what he _ knew _ happened wasn’t worthy of a nuclear meltdown. 

Eventually, she let out a frustrated growl and just spat it out. “What I don’t think you understand is that I _ consented_, alright? I wanted it.”

The muscle under his eye jumped, and his jaw rolled. “If I thought you hadn’t consented, I would’ve _ actually _ killed him.”

Confusion twisted her features, and she blinked hard. “So you _ almost _ killed him because...?”

A harsh laugh spilled from his lips and he stood, turning away with his hands splayed and chin tilted towards the sky. “My sister fucked my brother, and _ I’m _ the one who gets interrogated...!” 

This must’ve been the millionth time today he’d asked himself, _ this isn’t real, is it? _ But he still had yet to wake up.

“I didn’t _ fuck _ him,” she hissed, rising to her feet as he spun to face her. “Could you _ please _ keep it down? We don’t need our parents hearing you!”

“Oh, oh, _ I _ should keep it down?” God, that was rich. Stepping closer, he seethed, “Did you tell him to keep it down when he fucked you? Oh, sorry, it wasn’t fucking, I mean, something happened but it’s not what I think...”

“So _ now _ you want details?” Her fists curled at her sides, teeth bared. “I’ll give them to you, but don’t you dare act like you’re put off by the fact that we’re related when I _ know _ you would have happily taken his place!”

“No, I don’t want fucking _ details_, I want—“ As her last words registered, he felt the breath knocked out of him. His jaw snapped shut and he inched back. How did she know? Several seconds passed before he could force out a quiet, neutral response. “Why would you say that?”

“Why do you _think, _ Ben?” She let out a heavy sigh and wrung her hands. “Please, if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. But I’m not, am I?”

He was done for the moment she accused him. But he scrambled for hope, praying Kylo had put the thought into her head, that she hadn’t come to this conclusion herself. Then he could deny it, dismiss it as nothing more than his brother’s psychotic projections.

He wasn’t so lucky.

“We’ve had a connection from the moment I walked through the door,” she continued in a soft murmur. “I thought— I _ hoped _ it was innocent, but it’s not. I think I’ve known for a while, in the back of my mind, but it took what happened back there...between Kylo and me, and then the aftermath, to accept it.”

So the feeling was mutual. She wanted him as long as he’d wanted her. That revelation should’ve made him fall to his knees, overjoyed and weeping with relief. Instead, he felt sick to his stomach. 

“It took...crossing that line with _ him _ to know you want _ me? _” 

Were they interchangeable to her? They must be, if she settled for _ Kylo. _ If their personalities mattered at all, if she saw them both for what they truly were, she never would’ve done this.

“_No_,” she protested through gritted teeth, then inhaled deeply, looking everywhere but at him. “Or.... _ kind of._ I don’t— I don’t know how to explain it without sounding horrid. I didn’t even think it was a possibility, okay? And I get that it isn’t— or that it shouldn’t be. But I’ve had it in the back of my mind for a while now. That you and I— that everything would be _ perfect _ if we just weren’t related…”

He didn’t know how she’d explain it either. But he hoped to god she’d find some way to make this less agonizing. He held his breath as she seemed to do just that, spelling out the conflict she’d felt over the past few months, a conflict he thought he’d suffered alone.

“But then Kylo and I— it opened that door. He made it possible. And your reaction made it clear that you didn’t just see me as a little sister to dote on.”

She couldn’t go one second without his brother’s name landing in her mouth, could she? Ice prickled over his skin and his lip curled. 

“You mean he made your fantasy possible. You were using him as much as he used you...”

She reeled back as if slapped, eyes blown wide. “What? Why the hell would you say that?” 

“Because all he does is use people.”

“But he _ didn’t, _ he didn’t use me. And I didn’t use him! I have _ feelings _for him just as much as I do for you, and he...he’s not a monster. Ben, listen…”

His pulse quickened all over again, insides twisting and eyes stinging until he couldn’t take it anymore. “_Stop it. _ Just stop, I can’t—“ He curled over himself, grasping his head in his hands. “This is...this is too much.” 

He couldn’t even focus on one thing to feel overwhelmed about. Where would he start? He wasn’t even over what happened between her and Kylo, or the fact that he’d almost killed his brother with his bare hands, and now Rey had feelings for him, _ and _ his twin, who’d terrorized her from day one, and in the midst of all this **chaos** she chose to spend her time defending Kylo.

“This is...it’s all insane. I know,” she said through shallow, shaky breaths. “I don’t know what to feel anymore. I think maybe...maybe we need some time. To just— to sort ourselves out. To figure out what’s next.”

He dragged a hand over his face as he straightened up. 

“Yeah. Why don’t you figure out which one you like better, we’ll just wait. I’m sure time will make this all less fucked up...” More than done, he went straight for the stairs. He swore he could feel the dagger dig deeper into his back with every step down.

One, two...

“What if I don’t want to choose?”

His head turned sharply at her call, and he found her peering over the banister at him with a pinched expression. Was she _ serious? _ What did she think he’d say, ‘oh, that’s alright, Rey, we can just _ share'?_

“Too bad,” he sneered. “You already did.”

She reeled back, and let out a quiet scoff. “I haven’t. And I won’t. But if you can tell me that you don’t want me, then I guess that’ll be it.”

If she expected him to tell her he wanted her now, after all of _ this _, she could forget it. He wouldn’t give her ego the satisfaction.

“It clearly doesn’t matter what I want. It never did.”

“So you’re just going to leave me again?” 

Her voice came out so small, so pitiful. But it stung deep. A growl rattled his throat as he pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned against the railing. "I'm the only one ending up alone here, so don't act like I'm _ abandoning _ you, alright? You have the one you want."

She fell silent for a long moment, working her jaw. “So because you think I’ve chosen Kylo over you, then you want nothing to do with me anymore? We’re just...done? The fact that I still want you means nothing?”

“You _ did _ choose him over me.” Still, his heart wrenched around her words. As soon as the thought _ she wants me _ flickered back to life, the echo of Kylo’s obscene moan killed it stone dead. 

“Why?” he finally grit out, taking one step back up the stairs. “Give me one good reason why you chose him, one good reason why he _ deserved _ it.”

Her eyes closed before she gave her weary admission. “Because I wanted it. I wanted him. I have for a long time. And he...was straightforward. There wasn’t any doubt, or confusion, or anything. If I knew for sure you felt the same way, then...”

“What would you have done if I hadn’t heard? Keep going back to him, or try me for some variety?” He knew he was being cruel, but quite honestly, so was she. Neither of them—and _ especially _ not Kylo—could claim innocence in this situation. “Of course he was straightforward, shame is a foreign concept to him. Why did you want him? You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.”

“I wouldn’t have just decided to _ sample _ you if you hadn’t known about us, Ben!” she spat, eyes hard in the cold light. “I thought you knew me better than that. Why do I want him? Because he’s _ fun _, alright? Because we have chemistry, and a connection, just like I have with you. It’s different, yes, but it’s still there. You don’t know the person he is with me.”

“Thought I knew you better...I don’t know you at all anymore.” He paused with a scoff. “I suppose it doesn’t matter that he treated you like shit until he found out you were his sister, and only because that meant he could fit you into some sick, taboo fantasy…”

“Oh, like fooling around with Kylo has the ability to change my entire identity, like you don’t have the same fantasies, like you’re so bloody _ perfect!” _ Her voice jumped an octave, nails digging into the railing as if to keep herself from lunging at him. “When you found out I was your sister, what did you do? Ignored me. Avoided me. Acted like I didn’t exist. And it’s alright for me to forgive you for that, but it’s not okay for me to forgive him?”

“I avoided you for your own good! How the hell is that the same as harassing, deceiving, and attacking you? How?! And what I’ve thought of you—thought, not acted upon—has been despite the fact you’re my sister, not _ because _ of it.”

“For my own good, _ really _?” she sneered. “If you didn’t pause to think for a moment about the effect of cutting yourself off from me would impact me, with my history, then you never really cared to know me.”

Guilt clawed at the back of his mind before he kicked it aside. “Processing these feelings has _ clearly _ been no big deal for you, but it was for me, alright? The only thing I could think to do to save you from finding out was to keep my distance. I knew it would hurt, but if I stayed, I was afraid I’d do something to hurt you even more. I know it didn’t help at all in the end—but no matter what bullshit comparisons you want to make, I’ve always known what my intentions are. And they’re nothing like his.” 

He breathed in sharp through his nose, lungs burning like he’d run a marathon through an active battlefield. But she wasn’t close to running out of ammo yet. 

“Nothing Kylo did was right when I first got into this family, but he _ changed _ . Because he got to know me, and I him. Maybe if you kept your hands off his neck for a second and actually _ spoke _ with him, you would get to know him as I have.”

A dry, humorless laugh blew past his lips. “You know, it’s amazing how in almost thirty years of living with my twin, I’ve _ never _ gotten to know him. I’m sure your three month knowledge of him is _ so _ much deeper.”

Holding her hands up in surrender, she took a step away. “You’re right, your experiences with him are the only ones that count. Guess that means I should only see you the way Kylo sees you. Great to know that you’re exactly the pompous, self-righteous prima donna he knows you to be.”

Even though he knew she was being sarcastic, just trying to prove a point, that disgustingly familiar description hit him like a punch to the kidneys. At this point in his exhaustion, it was the final straw. 

“See me however you want to see me, I don’t care. You’re clearly more interested in defending a goddamn psychopath than you are in anything I have to say. Fuck this, fuck you, I’m _ done_.” 

This time he turned his back, he didn’t give himself the chance to look behind. Nor did Rey follow him. Going back inside wasn’t an option. If he didn’t get at least a mile away from her, Kylo, his whole fucked-up family, he’d put his head through a wall. So he took to the street, vision blurred with red-hot tears and feet charging into the night. He didn’t have anywhere to go, of course. No destination beyond ‘anywhere but here’. Honestly, he hoped a car would swerve off the road and hit him, but couldn’t quite bring himself to jump in front of one and make that a reality. 

Just like everything else in his life, he didn’t have the guts.


	13. Hypocrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER/TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains a very brief, attempted overdose.

Kylo never heard Rey sneak into his room that night. Of course, the pills knocked him out so hard he didn’t know this until the sun peeked through the blinds, when he awoke to an empty bed. And seemingly, an empty house. 

As he rolled out of bed in search of coffee, he passed the second downstairs bedroom and the office with the pullout bed. Both were eerily unoccupied. The only signs of recent life were in the kitchen, where a freshly washed mug sat in the sink, and a sticky note had been plastered to the fridge. 

_ Gone out w/Rey, be back sometime today. _

_ Love you! _

_ \- Mom _

He scoffed as he grabbed a k-cup from the cabinet. The note must’ve been for his brother—Leia hadn’t bothered saying ’love you’ to Kylo in ages. Then again, he had been maimed, so maybe that fostered some motherly guilt. Either way, looked like he was on his own today. At least until late afternoon, when Han was likely to wake up.

_ What to do, what to do... _

His growling stomach gave an immediate answer. With nothing in the fridge to satiate him, he placed a grossly unhealthy and expensive delivery order, which upon arrival, he brought with him to the beach—along with a freshly packed bowl. He’d never seen a sunrise so beautiful in all his life. Then again, he’d never taken the time out to watch one before. 

He returned inside an hour later with a full belly and a warm, chemical blanket draped over his brain, keeping all his stings and aches at bay. Though he would’ve been happier with Rey here, it was nice to have a house to himself. 

As he approached his room, his heart jumped at the sight of a figure hunched in the corner, rummaging through his luggage. 

_ Ben? _ Eyes narrowed, he yanked open the door, tensed and ready for another fight. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Ben flinched and spun, eyes widening as they lingered over Kylo’s face. Chest heaving, he quickly looked down. Then, presumably aiming for nonchalance, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat. 

“What does it matter? I’m leaving now anyway.”

“Oh no, you aren’t,” Kylo scoffed, kicking the door shut behind him. “Unless you want to try and kill me again, you’re not getting out of this that easily.”

He was prepared for it, too. Calm as his brother was at the moment, Kylo knew better than to let his guard down. His focus flicked to a table lamp sitting to his right. It’d make for a decent weapon. If Ben attacked again, he’d regret it. 

“Fine,” Ben finally grit out. “I was looking for your pain pills. You won’t use them all, so I figured if a few went missing, well...” 

Kylo lifted his chin with a quiet snort. 

“What could you possibly need my pain pills for? To forget you’re the reason I need them? To drown out your guilt?” 

“Need them? Please,” Ben’s eyes were empty when they finally rose to meet his. “Aren’t you high enough without them? You _ won _. You got Rey, and I’m left with nothing.”

“I was barely left with my_ life _ after what you did.” Kylo stared him down a long moment before a tight, dangerous smile overtook his expression. “But you know what? I’m feeling generous.” 

He shoved past Ben to reach into the nightstand and twist open the bottle inside. Grabbing six pills—likely enough for an overdose—he thrust them out towards Ben. 

“Knock yourself out.” _ Literally. _

He meant it as more of a message than a dare. Knowing his brother, Kylo figured he’d take two, tops. Maybe just one at first, to be on the safe side. But Ben snatched the pills straight from his palm, _ all six of them, _ and shoved them into his mouth. 

His Adam’s apple stalled mid-swallow. Eyes squinted and watering, Ben brought his hands to his neck, clawing, as his face turned pink, then red, then almost purple, as Kylo stood paralyzed in place. Whether or not Ben got the pills down, it didn’t matter. He’d die either way.

Until Kylo’s fist met his back. Five desperate blows between the shoulder blades as his free arm supported Ben’s chest. All coherent thought shut off for about ten seconds to the point he heard a choked gasp. His hands were shaking when he stumbled back.

Ben doubled over, coughing and dry-heaving as mushy pills tumbled out of his mouth in a thick pool of saliva. 

"What the fuck, Kylo?" he rasped.

“Crazy son of a bitch…” Kylo’s breaths came in shallow and uneven, pulse hammering in his right palm. “Maybe you’re new to this whole suicide thing, but pills are for overdosing, not choking yourself to death...” 

In a way, death by suffocation would’ve been poetic. But that didn’t mean he could just stand there and watch.

"It gets the job done either way, doesn't it?" Ben snapped and fell into a crouch. “Can’t even overdose correctly…” 

A sob wracked his shoulders, but no noise came out. He wasn’t letting it. His fingers curled into his hair, twisting and yanking as Kylo looked on, fighting to grasp a single train of thought that could explain what just happened.

_He can try and kill me, and I still can’t let him die. _ Fuck. What was this, some kind of child safety lock programmed into their DNA? If so, it had clearly malfunctioned in Ben, but Kylo’s was in annoyingly perfect order. And it was getting worse. The protective instinct, apparently, went beyond sheer survival and skirted the walls of empathy. The feeling was as hard to swallow down as those fucking pills. 

But who was he to ever resist a feeling?

With a heavy sigh, Kylo lowered himself to the floor, back pressed against the bed frame and arms crossed over his knees. “Why do you want to kill yourself?”

Ben’s chest rattled as he buried his face in his hands, voice weak and muffled when he finally answered.

"I don't want to kill myself. I just--want to forget."

Forget what he’d heard in the shower? Forget what he’d done to his own brother? Forget that for once in his life, he’d _ lost? _

Kylo’s eyes narrowed as he asked, “Which part?” 

"All of it, obviously.” Shuddering, Ben dropped his hands from his face, letting himself sink from his crouch to lean limply against the wall. "I just want to forget all of it."

Kylo paused a long moment before posing another question in a low, measured tone. 

“Are you sorry, at all?” 

He knew he was fishing in dangerous waters, but he needed to know. How wise was his gut instinct? Bad enough he’d saved someone who could nearly murder him in a jealous rage, even worse if that someone felt no remorse. 

Ben flinched at the question, tugging his knees even tighter against his chest. His choked reply was too muffled to hear. 

“Louder,” Kylo commanded. “Are. You. Sorry?” 

Ben’s head finally lifted, eyes red and weary. “_Yes.” _

Kylo sucked in a slow, deep breath, nodded, then rose to his feet. “Come on, then.” 

He pointed his chin towards the door and stepped out to the hall.

Ben eyed him like a feral dog, but Kylo didn’t bother to explain, instead leading him to where he’d left his stash, lighter and bowl on the kitchen counter. He then grabbed Han’s whiskey from the cabinet for good measure.

Glass scraped marble as he slid the bottle over towards Ben. “Nothing will make you forget, least of all the pills. But if you want to feel less shitty about your life, stick with the family classics.”

Ben’s brows furrowed as he caught the bottle. “Why are you helping me?” 

Kylo let out a soft, humorless laugh and reached for the bowl to take a hit. He was already pretty buzzed, but he’d need to be a kite on the wind to handle this conversation. 

“No fucking idea.” The words breathed from his lips in a long ribbon of smoke. “Guess I feel sorry for you.”

He’d always pitied Ben. At least, when he wasn’t resenting him for being the favorite, for having everything handed to him, for acting so goddamn superior just because he was a slave to the system. As if that were anything to be proud of. But at last, God’s most beloved angel had fallen. He could no longer put himself on a pedestal above Kylo. Finally, they were even. Finally, they could talk. 

Ben wrinkled his nose against the smoke and reached for the whiskey. Taking a sip from the bottle, he grimaced. “Guess Rey did change you…”

Kylo looked up from the bowl mid-toke, the lighter’s flame flickering in his field of vision. “Did she say that?”

“She said I didn’t know you.” Another swig. “My own twin. Who she’s known for a handful of months.”

A sardonic smile stretched the good side of Kylo’s face as he turned his back to pour a glass of water. The inside of his mouth felt like sandpaper. 

“Well, she’s right. You don’t.” He took a long drink, then leaned against the sink. “You know more _ about _ me, sure. More shared memories and all that. But let’s face it, we haven’t genuinely known each other for a single minute of our lives.”

“Bullshit.” Ben slammed the bottle onto the countertop with more force than necessary, then winced and dropped his shoulders. “Until literally today, you’ve always been selfish, and sadistic, and...and _ twisted_. What you did with Rey...How did you fake nice long enough to get her on your side?”

Kylo didn’t blink at the slam until several seconds after the fact, then merely quirked a brow. This was why he preferred weed over alcohol when he was angry. But at least if Ben decided he _ wasn’t _ sorry after all, he’d be too uncoordinated to make a successful attack. 

“I didn’t fake anything.” Kylo shrugged. “I don’t have to. If you’ve ever actually watched our interactions, you’d notice they aren’t exactly sweet...”

Ben opened his mouth, then shut it just as quickly as his eyes settled on the window overlooking the beach. “She just got used to you invading her personal space...that’s how it escalated. You always took any chance you could to put your hands on her and she got desensitized to it. She never realized how _ wrong _ it was.”

Kylo’s eyes rolled behind half-closed lids. “Do you think she lived under a rock before she met us? She knows the difference between a platonic touch and something more. She knows what society considers wrong. And as far as that goes, she clearly gives about as many fucks as I do.”

Ben shuddered as he took another swig of whisky. “You still took advantage of the fact she’d never had a sibling before. From day one, you...you didn’t act like a brother.”

“You’re one to talk,“ Kylo muttered, brushing his fingers in a less-than-subtle motion across his cut, and Ben winced. 

“Siblings fight all the time. Sex is different.”

Kylo circled a lazy finger around the rim of his water glass. “Attempted murder is to fighting what sex is to hugging...” 

“Well, neither can ever happen again, or Rey will end up permanently fucked in the head,” Ben persisted, then froze, eyes wide as if he’d come to some great revelation. “No, too late for that. She already is. She said she didn’t want to--she _ couldn’t_\--choose between us.”

Kylo fell silent, eyes narrowed to slits. It was absurd for anyone in this family to assume things could be sane, appropriate, _ normal _. Still, some things could still shock him...like Rey’s apparent confession. He’d been able to read his brother like a book from the start. He looked at Rey as if she were all the stars combined. But as far as Kylo knew, Rey treated Ben the same as she would any close friend. 

“Why would she need to choose?” Kylo scoffed and took another long, deep hit. “I wouldn’t expect her to want me or her _ best friend _ out of her life completely, even with everything that happened.”

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek and looked away, dark hair falling over his face as his fingers mindlessly traced the bottle in front of him. 

“I tried to be a good brother to her...I tried to keep her from ever knowing how I felt and then she just...gives herself to you. And then she says it could have just as well have been me if I’d had the balls to throw myself at her like you did.” His fist clenched hard at the edge of the counter, voice rising sharply. “What the fuck kind of insanity is that?”

“That...is insane.” Insane enough that Kylo still didn’t believe it for a second. “Did she think that’d make you feel better or something?”

“Apparently,” Ben growled, yanking the bottle closer to throw back another gulp. “As if knowing that she wants to fuck me _ and _ my psycho brother would make me feel anything but sick to my stomach.” 

Kylo snorted. “You jumped on the psycho wagon right there beside me. If you have to criticize me to make yourself feel better, try something that doesn’t sound so hypocritical.” 

After a moment, the corded muscle in Ben’s arms relaxed, palm dragging along the bottle to lie flat on the counter. His chest expanded in a slow breath.

“I never wanted to think for a second I could be like you, but here we are...two psychos.”

_Well, there’s a start,_ Kylo thought. But Rey couldn’t possibly have meant what she said to Ben. Or he was paraphrasing. She’d just said what she thought he wanted to hear so he’d calm down, right? She did seem to think if she doled out prizes equally, if she didn’t overtly pick a ‘favorite’, everything would be fine. Kind of like their parents, in a fucked up way. 

But then again...given her enviable position, a young woman caught between identical twins, there was a more obvious answer that Kylo couldn’t ignore. Even if he _ objectively _ had more sex appeal than his brother. 

“Shouldn’t come as a surprise, really,” he murmured. “Not many people come this close to the whole twin fantasy thing in real life....”

Ben reeled back, face pinched. “Do you really think that’s all this is to her?” 

A wry chuckle escaped Kylo before he took another sip of water. “If there were two of _ her, _ I’d want to fuck them both. Even if one was considerably more boring.”

He swore he saw a spark in Ben’s eyes before another scowl overtook his features, and he pushed himself off from the counter onto unsteady feet. “Great, so it’s just a kink. That makes me feel so much better…”

_ Lightweight. _Another smirk tugged at Kylo’s lips as Ben swayed, and he slid his glass of water over to him. Looked like he needed it. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she’s exactly in love with me, either.”

Ben downed half the glass in one go, before his chest heaved in a defeated sigh. “So then...what does she want? You to screw and me to— what— shower her with attention and platonic affection? Is that all we’re good for?”

A dull hum was Kylo’s only response for a minute as he finished off the bowl.

“Kind of seems that way, doesn’t it?“ A long, smoky sigh left his lips, and a connection formed through the warm haze of his mind. “Come to think of it, she said something interesting on the way here...Remember that date I went on?”

“That fake date, you mean…”

Kylo pretended he didn’t hear that. “Rey was very curious about it. About my _ type. _ Can’t imagine why,” he mused with a slight, crooked grin. “So naturally, I listed a lot of her traits, and when I asked what her type was, she mentioned this ‘tall, dark haired prick’ who hangs out at her work. Super subtle, I know. _ But _...”

As he paused to repack the bowl, taking his sweet time, Ben inched closer, clearly on the edge of his seat. He let out an impatient huff just before Kylo thrust the pipe and lighter his way. Blinking rapidly, he parted his lips (most likely to ‘just say no’), but no protest came out. After a long pause, he snatched the pipe.

“Fuck it…” 

_ There’s a good boy. _ Kylo smirked before finally finishing his story. 

“She made a point of mentioning things that definitely don’t describe me. Said she’s ‘doomed’ since obviously, she’d never find someone who’s exciting _ and _ stable, funny _ and _ serious, so on, so forth...”

It took a few flicks for Ben to get the lighter going. The moment he inhaled, he coughed out a waft of smoke, and Kylo snickered under his breath. 

“Wait, what?” Ben asked, voice hoarse. “She basically told you that her type is both of us? A combination of our personalities? Too bad one of us didn’t absorb the other in the womb.”

“Oh, believe me, I _ tried _ to eat you in the womb, but all those morals and responsibility were just too hard to digest…” 

“I would’ve done the same, but decided against poisoning myself with your toxicity.” 

Kylo pressed off the counter with an exaggerated wince, pressing a hand to his heart. “Ooh, that hurts, Ben, it really does. I think I need ice.” 

As his brother rolled his eyes and attempted another toke, Kylo’s eyes flickered over him, taking in the way he grimaced as he breathed in. Not just like it burned, but like it was a sin. That shifty, worry line ridden expression made up his entire brand. 

“If I squint, I _ guess _ I can see the appeal—if Rey likes corrupting the innocent as much as I do,” Kylo mused, more to himself than anything. “But I don’t know, you seem like you’d only do missionary in the dark with your socks on, so...”

“Oh yeah?” Ben barked out a laugh, which continued in a half-repressed series of chuckles. The sound was so foreign, it would’ve been unsettling if Kylo weren’t also fighting to keep a baked grin off his face. “Well, I didn’t think she’d be into...whips and chains, or whatever weird shit you’re into. You seem like you’d demand she always be gagged and only do anal. Doesn’t seem like her style, but what do I know…”

Kylo’s mouth fell open with an indignant scoff. “What kind of Patrick Bateman motherfucker do you think I am? If I needed all _ that _ to get off, I wouldn’t have made a move in the shower. Bit too cramped to crack a whip or hang up restraints.”

“True…” Ben tilted his head, and an unusual dark glint caught in his eyes. “Can’t expect you to do everything on _ your first try…” _

How did he know? Kylo tensed, mind racing with wild possibilities, but circled back to the most obvious conclusion. Neither twin ever brought a girl home. Neither hid condoms in their wallets or nightstands. Neither came home late at night with messy hair and a lovestruck grin. If he could guess Ben was a virgin, it only made sense Ben could guess the same about him. 

“But don’t worry,” Ben continued. “I’m sure you’ll have all your equipment ready next time.” 

“Don’t you know it’s always the quiet, straight-laced ones with the most fucked-up kinks?”

A brilliant shade of red flared over Ben’s cheeks and ears, and he coughed into his hand. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about…” 

Kylo’s lazy smile stretched into a full, Cheshire cat grin. “Don’t back down now. What manner of filth lurks in that head of yours?”

Never before today did he think he’d _ want _ to know about Ben’s kinks, but now that his brother’s dark side was out in the open, curiosity blazed beneath his skin. Ben couldn’t be as vanilla as he appeared. Was he into praise? Humiliation? Choking? Oh god, he _ had _ to be into choking...

Ben shook his head, eyes dull and expression flat once again. “Doesn’t matter. There’s only one person I ever wanted to try it with, and she hates me now, so…”

“What happened to her wanting you?” 

“She did say that, but I...I didn’t believe her. Or it didn’t register. I don’t know.” Ben sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “I was mainly focused on trying to understand why she chose _ you _ first. You were only decent to her after the DNA results came in…”

“Want to know why?” Kylo leaned in with narrowed eyes, making sure Ben was actually listening before he continued. “Because those results proved something. Not just that she was my sister, but that she was _ honest. _ It meant I could trust her word. And because she’s family, I could trust her to always be a part of my life. That’s more than I can say for anyone I’ve ever met. With all that in mind...how could I not care about her? How could I want anyone else?”

Ben’s fingers fell to the back of his neck and he swallowed thickly. "I guess...that makes a lot of sense."

“She’s not a piece of meat to me any more than she is to you,” Kylo continued, barely blinking as his eyes bored into Ben’s. “Just because I show affection differently doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

Ben couldn’t hold his stare for more than a second before curling in on himself, face hidden behind trembling arms. “I fucked up...I _ really _ fucked up. With her, with you...God, I can’t believe I almost...I almost…” 

_ Killed me, _ Kylo finished silently, expression twitching as Ben choked up. Was he this shaken over his own actions? Or was it because his ‘psychopath’ brother had feelings after all? The bruised muscles of Kylo’s throat ached as he swallowed hard. 

“Well...you didn’t, so...” He cringed as his voice came out weak and unsure. What was wrong with him? Up until now, he’d managed to float above Ben’s emotions, even when the waves rose to tsunami levels, but this almost-apology left him drowning.

"I could have," Ben whispered, tears dripping onto the marble countertop. All Kylo could see of his face were his lips, parted with ragged breaths. "If Rey hadn't gotten me off of you...I could have. I don't deserve her. I don't...I don't deserve anything."

Jaw tense and eyes averted, Kylo turned away. He hated when people cried in front of him. It wasn’t that he was unempathetic—quite the contrary. He absorbed the feelings of others much more than anyone knew, to the point he had to shut people out and self-medicate to stay sane. Even when he wanted to help, that didn’t mean he knew how. All he had to offer were the same chemicals that helped him. 

“It’s fine, it’s in the past...” 

It wasn’t _ really _ fine, but that didn’t matter. He just wanted to heal up and let the event fade into his memory. Grabbing a paper towel—the only thing resembling a tissue within reach—he held it out to Ben without turning to face him. 

“Just forget it. Beating yourself up doesn’t fix anything.”

"You're right.” Ben sniffed and swiped his palm roughly over his eyes. "Living with the consequences is the only thing I can do now. I should tell the police what I've done and--and let Rey go. Forever."

“_Don’t you dare._” Spinning on his heel, Kylo pointed a finger an inch from his brother’s face. “Don’t you even think about reporting this. Cops hate me, I hate them, and I’m _ not _ going through a goddamn court case just so you can clear your conscience. If you’re really sorry, you’ll leave it alone.”

Ben’s chest heaved with a hiccup as he swayed backwards, head dipped in surrender. "Fine...I won't tell anyone. But I swear, I-- I am sorry.”

Kylo dropped his hand, let out a soft, shuddering breath, and stepped back. Having always been the one in the wrong, he was never told how to react when someone apologized to _ him _. What was he supposed to say, ‘thank you’? ‘Thou art forgiven?’ 

“At least I’ll get a cool scar out of it.” As usual, it was easier to resort to humor than tackle the issue directly.

Ben bit his lip, hiding a weak smile. "Guess I helped with the whole bad-boy image. I'm sure your fans will go wild over it, huh?"

“Nice of you to pretend I have any,” Kylo snorted and crossed his arms, looking to the window. Sure, he’d hyped up his band for years, swearing his big break would come after just one more gig...but everyone knew he’d never amount to anything. 

“Just sucks I can’t pretend to be you again,” he said. “That was always fun.”

Ben passed him a smug glance as he slid back over one of the bar stools. "Yeah, can't say I'm sorry about preventing you from pulling that shit again."

Arching a brow, Kylo perched on the stool next to him, and rested his good cheek in his hand. “I could always even it out,” he said, making a slashing motion across Ben’s face. “Then you can get the bad boy benefits, too.”

Ben paled. "If...if that's what you wanted from me...to make it even, then--then alright, that’s fair…”

“What?” Kylo glanced over his twin’s unmarred features, and a flash of red burst in his mind’s eye. The justice might comfort him if the gore and the screams didn’t make him shudder. “Don’t be stupid, I was joking.” 

"Oh...right. I knew that.”

“Sure you did.” 

They both looked to the ceiling as something creaked upstairs, followed by a slow series of familiar footsteps. 

“The bear’s awake,” Kylo muttered. Ben only got a second to groan at that before headlights flashed through the window over his eyes, making him squint. 

“Shit...Rey’s home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Solo house, we drink like men. Or high functioning alcoholics. This whole family needs AA.  
Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please let us know what you thought! Your comments keep us alive <3 
> 
> [Spotify Playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QQPRBDYisCdvuM3dlfZo1?si=itQqQP4fTqyamBWAkOiWpA)


	14. Too Late

All her life, Rey had dreamt of spending the perfect mother/daughter day with her mum. She’d imagined going shopping together, having a spa day, chatting about everything and nothing at the same time. Once she’d become part of the Solo family, Leia had filled the once-formless image of the mother Rey had dreamed of since she was small. 

The morning they spent together should have been perfect. On the surface, it was. But every time she managed to sink into the moment, to really enjoy her bonding time with Leia, memories of the previous day assaulted her the second her guard was down. 

Steam in the shower. Muffled moans. Soul-shattering pleasure. 

Shouting. The sound of fists pummeling. A blood-curdling scream. 

A dark rooftop deck. Frustration, shame, and anger. Two words that echoed in her ears. 

_ ”Fuck you.” _

“I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted!” Leia sighed, offering Rey a grin that she did her best to return. They were pulling back up to the beach house, and anxiety was forming like a heavy weight in her stomach. 

“Yeah, I’m knackered,” she agreed. They gathered their shopping bags out of the taxi and stepped into the home. Not a moment later, Han’s voice bellowed from the kitchen, followed by a series of stomps.

“Who the hell drank all my whiskey?!” When Han reached Kylo’s door, he pounded on it so hard it nearly shook off its hinges. “Kylo, get your ass to the store right now and buy me another bottle!”  
  
“I didn’t touch your whiskey, old man!” an indignant voice screamed back from inside. 

“He’s--_ hic _\--right!” A similar voice slurred. “No booze for Kylo...doctor says…”

Han stepped back from the door, jaw slack and brows twisted together. “Ben? What’s gotten into you, you know better than this!” 

Rey gaped at the bedroom door. A mix of emotions swirled inside of her, but the most prominent was confusion. Ben and Kylo were in a room together? Behind a closed door? And one of them _ wasn’t _ already dead? 

“Sorry, Dad...I’ll replace it tomorrow, swear…” 

Shaking his head, Han trudged away from the door, grabbed a Coke from the fridge, and slumped in front of the TV. 

Placing her bags on the ground, Rey offered Leia another smile as the older woman breezed over to her husband and leaned over the couch to give him a peck on the cheek. Han’s features softened, and he put down the remote so he could follow his wife up to their room. 

Stepping forward, Rey raised a hand and tentatively knocked on the bedroom door. Her heart thrummed heavily in her chest. “It’s uh— it’s me,” she called.

Her anxiety spiked as muffled voices sounded behind the door. The words were impossible to make out, but one voice was slightly louder and more slurred than the other. Some shuffling and a second of silence later, and the door swung open. 

“Hey.” Kylo stood before her with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Where’d you and Mom go?”

She mirrored Kylo’s smile and not-so-surreptitiously looked around him for Ben. “We went into town and did some shopping. She insisted on a mani-pedi. Y’know...girly stuff.”

“Right, right...” He barely seemed to take in her words before stretching his arm up against the doorframe, blocking her view of the bedroom. 

“What uh...what are you and Ben doing?”

“Ben?” His brows lifted just slightly. “I haven’t seen him all day...guess he ran off.”

She blinked, smile dropping completely. Lips pressed tightly together, she kept her tone even as she asked, “Really? So...then it shouldn’t be a problem if I come in, right?”

Kylo’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling and he sighed. “He’s hiding from you, alright? And he’s hammered. So let’s let him sober up, yeah?“ 

That stung. Fuck, that stung. She’d figured that much out the second Kylo had tried to pretend Ben wasn’t in there, but...it didn’t make hearing him say it any less painful. She crossed her arms, fighting the urge to wrap them around herself and go running into her room. Her stomach was in knots, the anxiety churning a steady rhythm. 

“Hiding from me, right...” 

Kylo took a step out from the room and reached for her arm, but before he could make contact, Ben’s mussed head popped up from behind the dresser. 

“You said you’d cover for me, not lure her away!” he hissed. “Traitorous prick...” 

“Maybe she’d believe you weren’t here if you kept your mouth shut,” Kylo snapped back, then turned an exhausted eye on Rey. “Like I said—he’s in no state for a reasonable conversation.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’ll just— go,” she muttered, jerking a finger toward the back door.

“No, no, wait! Wait!” Ben cried, stumbling over himself to follow her. Kylo tried to block him with his arm, but Ben just ducked underneath it, staggering to a halt only when he was a foot away from her. “I’m sorry...for hiding and...and the other thing.”

Her expression pinched. She should have wanted to hear it. Should have been excited to get things back on track, but...where was the track? 

Ben swallowed, biting his lip hard as bloodshot eyes wandered aimlessly over her features. “I thought if you wanted to see me, it’d just be to...I don’t know...hurt me? But I guess I deserve that. More than deserve it. Fuck, I‘m such a coward…

“Ben...let’s talk when you’ve sobered up, okay?” she asked softly, unable to meet his eyes. She just...couldn’t talk to him right now. Not when he was drunk. Not when a single misstep from either of them could lead to the chasm that had opened between them growing wider. “I think we’ve both hurt each other enough, already. So let’s not...let’s not talk just yet. Okay?”

She felt his gaze weighing heavily on her for several moments before he sucked in a shaky breath. “Yeah...you’re right...I wanted to wait to say it the right way, I just...need you to know I’m sorry...” 

“She gets it,” Kylo interrupted, one hand on Ben’s shoulder to nudge him back into the room. When Ben resisted, he leaned in close, hissing in his ear, “I need to talk to her too.”

“Just talk?” Ben scoffed, eyes unfocused but hard on his brother. 

“Yes.”

Once again, a mixture of alarm and curiosity coursed through her. How the hell had they gotten this comfortable with each other so quickly? Just yesterday Ben had tried to...to... She tore her eyes away from them, clenching her fists and taking a deep breath.

“Fine...whatever. Not my business anyway,” Ben finally relented, albeit with a narrowed stare and a bitter tone. His head turned back to Rey for half a second, but he didn’t try to meet her gaze, instead sulking back into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. 

Kylo‘s hands flexed at his sides as he turned to her. “Can we...?” he trailed off, gesturing to the back door.

“Uh, yeah,” she agreed softly. What did he want to speak about? She supposed they could talk about anything. There was a lot they hadn’t discussed... She glanced toward the stairs before they stepped outside, briefly wondering what Han and Leia were doing. Probably discussing where to go out next. Either the casino or the bar.

She grabbed a beach umbrella before they walked outside, as well as a couple towels. 

“Oh, you’re uh...planning on staying out here a long time, I see...” Kylo muttered.

_ I have a feeling this is gonna be a long conversation, _ she responded mentally, lips pressed tightly together. 

Stepping into the sun, she shielded her eyes as they walked toward the shore. They said nothing, the air between them tense. Quietly, she laid out the towels and propped up the umbrella. Sitting in the shade, she wrapped her arms around her legs and looked out to the sea, feeling her gut clench in anticipation. What would they tackle first?

“So...I’m sure you’re as confused as I am. Probably more...” Kylo started as he sunk to one towel and shifted to find a comfortable position. “Obviously, Ben regrets a lot of his decisions lately. An apology alone wouldn’t normally cut it for me, but...I think he and I are in a similar position here.”

“What position is that?” she asked softly, feeling her stomach lurch.

“A vulnerable one,” he said without hesitation, keeping his gaze focused on the sea ahead. His expression was strangely calm yet strained, as if he were exerting a great deal of effort into hiding whatever genuine emotion lay beneath. “I don’t regret what we did for a second. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again, if you ever wanted it. But after what Ben told me...I think my expectations need to be brought down a bit. Unless he misunderstood you. But I don’t think he flat-out _ lied _ to me...”

She swallowed, her heart squeezing. Vulnerable. Yes. They were in a vulnerable position. Kylo, Ben...and her. She felt like a tightrope walker toeing along a razor’s edge. What should she say? What should she keep to herself? Was it better to lie? Play dumb? Or just...be honest? 

After a stretch of silent debate, she sighed. “I don’t regret what we did, either. I knew the choice I was making when I made it. I just...wish I had been more careful. Everything is such a _ mess _ now and I— I feel like I’m going to be asked to choose. I felt like that’s what you’re going to ask me to do now. And I...I can’t, Kylo.”

“So he did understand you...” His lids fluttered, eyes shifting down to where his fingers curled around the sand. “Well, I can play along. Keep things simple, no strings, no expectations, just...what we both want. But I don’t think he’ll be able to do the same. So...sorry to ruin whatever you had in mind for us, but you might have to just settle for me.”

Her brows dipped lower and lower as he spoke. No strings? No expectations? What did that mean for them? If they were just two people who’d met through circumstance, then what he described sounded like no more than friends with benefits...but they could never have that. Because she wanted so much more than that. 

Turning her body toward him, she scowled. “I’m not settling, Kylo. Even if Ben never wanted to speak to me again...You’re not some consolation prize, okay?”

“That’s a relief.” 

She ground her teeth, eyes dropping to the ground. “I’m a terrible person. I want everything with you. I want to know you inside and out. But I...I want that with Ben, too.”

His face was still barely readable when he turned to look at her, eyes narrowed just slightly as he worked his jaw. 

“I’m telling you, it’s all or nothing for him. Go ahead and ask—he’ll never agree to share. As for me...” His gaze dropped with a loose shrug and his voice lowered to a softer, tentative pitch. “I want everything too. But sometimes, we get only half of what we want.“

“It’s not fair of me to ask either of you to share, and I know that...” she murmured, feeling her throat constricting. “But I... I don’t know what to do. If I continue down this path with you, then I’m leaving him behind. And of course, vice versa if I were to choose him.” A humorless laugh escaped her. “Hence why I don’t want to choose. I don’t want to leave either of you behind.”

A long, weary sigh left him as he fell onto his back, arms crossed behind his head. “I don’t know what to tell you. I know what I want, I know the price, and I’m ready to pay it. If he’s not willing to do the same...I don’t see why that should keep you and me apart. But I’m not going to beg. If you’d rather leave us _ both _ behind, I can’t stop you. I just think it’s a bit stupid to make all three of us miserable in the interest of fairness.”

He had a valid point. No, scratch that, he had a _ good _ point. If Ben didn’t want to be with her if that meant he had to share her with Kylo, then why couldn’t she just be with Kylo? But then...couldn’t the roles just as easily be reversed? Why should she choose Kylo over Ben? Just because _ he _ would be willing to share her? So she could always tell Ben, ‘ _ Hey, the option was open! It’s just your fault for not taking us up on it! _’?

Head pounding, she squeezed her knees tighter to her chest. “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted again, throat constricting. “Maybe I _should_ regret what we did. It fucked everything up...”

“There’s no point regretting anything, that’s the problem with you two.” His head fell to the side to rest on one bicep, stitches on full display beneath the glaring sunlight. “You can and should feel guilty if you, I don’t know, tried to kill someone—but being sorry over a feeling you can’t help, a feeling you’re bound to act on, one way or another? That’s the most useless guilt in the world. The situation was fucked from the start, we all knew it—there was nothing we could do, or _ not _ do, to stop the inevitable. Ben should’ve already learned that lesson when he decided ghosting you was the best way to deal with his feelings, and look at what happened.“

She listened closely, burying her fingers in the sand over and over as he spoke. Even if he had made another good point, the feeling didn’t go away. If she was going to act on her urges, she should have been smarter about it. She should have waited until they were completely alone, with no chance of anyone overhearing... 

But then...that still wouldn’t have changed the outcome, would it? Kylo might have been spared a scar, but she would have landed in the same exact predicament; not wanting to choose. Selfishly wanting them both. 

“It doesn’t bother you?” she murmured. “That I want him, too? I would have thought you’d be more...upset. Or are you only this chill about it because you think Ben will never agree to share and so by default you don’t have to?”

She swallowed, eyes darting between his. His expression was blank for a long, tense moment. 

“I _ know _ he wouldn’t agree to it. But even in some parallel universe where he proved me wrong....yeah, I could handle it. Just have to detach a little, is all. Works wonders,” he hummed, slowly sitting up again. “Do I _ enjoy _ being one half of the equation for you? Absolutely not. Especially when the other half is mainly filling an emotional void that I could fill myself with enough time. But considering how far I’ve gotten...it’s hard to feel too jealous of Ben.”

“Right...” She ran her hand through her hair, finally releasing the vice grip she had around her legs to stretch them out in front of her. Leaning into Kylo, she rested her temple against his shoulder as her eyes tracked the crashing waves. He wasted no time wrapping an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her even closer. 

“Thank you,” she said after a moment, “For...well, I guess just about everything. For not hating me, for understanding...for all of it.”

“Even when I ‘hated’ you, I didn’t actually hate you…”

Curling into him, she closed her eyes as his voice rumbled in his chest. She searched for his free hand and curled her fingers around his.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever trusted," he continued, voice softer than she'd ever heard it before. "You’ve never once lied to me. And your feelings don’t lie, either, so...I can either sulk about it, or try to understand. Like I was telling Ben, if there were two of _ you _, well...”

A snort ripped itself from her, and raising her head, she squinted up at him. “Seriously? You said that to him? I can only imagine the look of indignant outrage on his face...”

“Like swearing in front of a nun. But I could tell he’d be into it, even if he’d never admit it...” 

Somehow she didn’t doubt that. There were a lot of things she’d learned about Ben in the past 24 hours. His penchant for outwardly refuting anything salacious while secretly coveting it was apparently a running theme. 

Slowly, Kylo readjusted his fingers, intertwining them with hers so that the heat of their palms were pressed firmly together. Her first genuine smile in what felt like ages curled her lips. She liked the tender action. Especially coming from him. He was the definition of a sour patch kid: sour, then sweet. 

Crashing waves and gull caws were all that filled the silence as he glanced over his shoulder to the umbrella blocking their view of the house—or rather, blocking the house’s view of them—before he lurched forward to plant a hot, playful kiss on her lips. It came as a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. It felt good. _ So _ good.

“We should go somewhere,” he murmured, eyes glimmering only inches away as they roamed over her features. “Take the car, find some _ real _ privacy...”

Biting the inside of her cheek, she glanced between his eyes before sighing. “We...shouldn’t. Not yet. Ben is in there sobering up, and I don’t know how he’d react to finding us gone.”

“Does _ everything _ have to revolve around Ben and his moods? Whatever his reaction is, I’m sure it can’t surpass _ this _,” he said, dryly motioning to the fading bruises on his throat. “I already have the perfect excuse, anyway. Dad needs whiskey. So let’s go buy some for him, and uh...’get lost’ along the way....”

She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. “Ben was practically falling over himself trying to apologize to me. He was a mess. If that’s how he’s acting drunk, I have no idea how he’s gonna be when he sobers up. I still need to talk to him, and I’d just rather not throw some gasoline on the fire, alright?” 

His face fell and his fingers slipped free of hers, legs tensed to stand—maybe walk away. Realizing her temper had started to flare, she took a deep breath and leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. “We’ll ‘get lost’ another time. I promise.”

He froze, and after a long moment, his eyes creased in a hidden smirk and he held out his hand to shake. “I’ll hold you to it. If we don’t get some alone time after he’s done confessing his sins, I’m gonna throw you in the car and carry you off to Mexico.”

Her brows raised, a disbelieving laugh escaping her. Grinning wide, she took his offered hand and gave it a firm shake. “Alright, alright. It’s a deal, then.”

Over the sound of the waves, a distant shout could be heard. Peeking out from around the umbrella, Rey spotted Han leaning outside the door with his hands cupped around his mouth so he could shout to them, “Hey! Wrap it up soon! We’re gonna head out for dinner at Canto Bight in a bit! Leia wants everyone to dress up, so hop to it!” 

Giving Han a thumbs-up, Rey stood and started gathering her towel. “Well, this ought to be an interesting dinner.”

* * *

“I don’t want to go.” 

“It’s a family vacation, Ben.” 

“I feel sick.” 

“No wonder, you drank all of your father’s Jack Daniels!” Leia’s hands slapped against her thighs as she gave her son an exasperated stare. “Come on, food will help with your hangover. And you love Canto Bight, don’t you remember? It was your favorite place the last time we vacationed here.” 

“Only because they had an arcade next to the casino,” Ben muttered, but realized he’d lost. Everyone knew there was no point arguing with Leia. 

Within ten minutes, he was once again alone in the backseat with Rey and Kylo in the middle—but this time, it was his own choice. And at least he wasn’t crammed in with the luggage. Earbuds drowned out whatever conversation was happening in front of him as he kept his eyes glued on the neon signs flying by, trying to think of anything other than his siblings. 

When they got to Canto Bight, it was exactly as he remembered. A black and gold monument to all-American greed, lit up on all corners with lights that sparkled like diamonds. The sight didn’t dazzle him like it used to. He lagged behind, eyes on the checkered marble floor as Leia led the pack to the VIP section. Only she truly fit in here, having packed an actual evening gown for the occasion. Han came in the same old cargo shorts and sandals, and Kylo, of course, wore his usual all-black uniform of jeans and a T-shirt. The best thing Ben could find was a short sleeve button down and khakis. 

“Don’t suppose you want a drink, hm? A spot of whiskey, maybe?” Han chaffed when the waitress came to take their drink orders. 

Unamused, Ben kept his eyes on the menu and shook his head. “Just water.” 

“Me too,” Kylo said across from him. Naturally, he’d squeezed in beside Rey, leaving their parents in the middle of the curved booth with Ben alone at the far end.

“I’ll have a ginger ale,” Rey requested softy, fingers tapping a nervous rhythm over the top of the menu. She’d dressed in a simple cream blouse and jeans and pulled half of her hair into a little bun at the top of her head.

“Rey and I had a lovely morning,” Leia gushed, flashing her a wide smile. “Wrestling her into the spa took a considerable amount of effort, but I think you relaxed into it toward the end. Am I right?”

Wrinkling her nose, Rey said, “Hmm...I would phrase it more like I simply stopped trying to resist it.”

Ben’s eyes snapped up to his brother when he heard a muffled snort. 

“Rey’s always resisting things she knows she’ll like,” Kylo mused, and Ben’s fist curled under the table. “Wish you’d brought me along. I could use a good massage.” 

His underlying message flew right over their parents’ heads as Han snorted. 

“Pretty sure it wasn’t _ that _ kind of massage place, kid.” 

“Han!” Leia smacked his shoulder, but couldn’t completely hide her grin. 

“I mean it,” Kylo insisted with a side glance to Ben. “I’m still really sore all over...” 

Han rolled his eyes and waved him off. “Well, think about that next time you go wandering in bad neighborhoods.”

Ben caught the glare Rey shot at his brother, along with Kylo’s flinch that could only be borne of him receiving a kick under the table, followed by an exaggerated pout. No words were exchanged, but he might as well have had a transcript of their thoughts. Rey’s caution had nothing to do with their parents. They’d stay blind to the unnatural relationship between her and Kylo until she was literally caught in bed with him—and even then, Leia would probably see it as some innocent, childish sleepover. 

No, Rey was shutting Kylo up for Ben’s sake. He didn’t know whether to resent her for it or be thankful. And as for Kylo...he might’ve forgiven Ben, taken pity on him, babysat him while he was drunk, but that didn’t mean they were friends.

In fact, now that he thought about it...maybe Kylo knew exactly when Rey was coming home, and that was why he brought out the booze. To buy himself more time with Rey while Ben was too incapacitated to give her a coherent apology. Sneaky bastard.

The rest of the conversation faded into the background as he watched Kylo’s arm stretch towards Rey, mostly out of view beneath the table. He kept up a bored expression, but from the flex of his bicep, it looked like he’d just given something a good squeeze. Rey flinched and choked on nothing, but reached for her ginger ale as if that were the culprit.

If Ben had a fork in hand, he would’ve bent it in half. If it were a knife instead, he would’ve flung it in his brother’s eye. But violence clearly didn’t teach Kylo a goddamn thing.

“You okay, sis? Got a little choked up there,” Kylo practically crooned, patting Rey on the back in a gentler mockery of what he’d done for Ben just earlier that morning. 

_ Okay, I can’t take this anymore. _

“Hey, where are you going?” Leia asked as Ben started to slide out from the booth. 

His eyes rolled while his back was still turned. “How many places could I possibly have to go?” 

With that, he stalked off, not quite into the restroom but to the exit door beyond. Once out in the back parking lot, he finally felt like he could breathe—but that was about it. His head hurt. His chest hurt. Everything hurt. But honestly, at this point, he barely noticed it.

Eyes closed, he tried to will away the storm stirring inside him with deep breaths and visualization, just like his uncle Luke taught him. It always helped when he was nervous about a test, or pissed because of some prank Kylo pulled. But this was so much greater. The more he tried and failed to calm himself down, the more his blood boiled, until Rey’s voice made him snap.

“Ben?”

_ ”What?” _ As soon as he whirled around and realized she was actually there—not some figment of his imagination—he shuddered and stepped back. 

“Shit, sorry, I...I didn’t mean to...um,” he fumbled over his words, hands jammed in his pockets as he shifted his weight from one foot to the next. 

“No, I’m sorry,” she quietly assured him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Away from everyone. But uh...maybe this isn’t the best time. I can leave, if you want.”

“No, no, I’ve been wanting to talk to you, too. I would’ve done it earlier except K—“ He stopped himself there, jaw wiring shut. Blaming Kylo would only make things worse. In fact, it’d probably be best to never mention him in Rey’s presence ever again. 

“Never mind. Anyway...what I was trying to say earlier is that...I’m sorry about what I said. And for a lot of other things. I don’t know exactly what I _ should _ have done instead, but...it wasn’t that.”

“I’m sorry, too. I...I didn’t handle our talk last night very well either. I shouldn’t have gotten all sarcastic and mean…”

His stance relaxed at her words, head lifting in acknowledgement, but her next question made his arms wrap tightly around his ribcage. 

“But it sounded like the two of you...talked? How did that go?”

Of _ course _ she’d ask about Kylo right when Ben decided not to talk about him. 

“Um...I thought it was good, but I don’t really know anymore. Guess it was more ‘too good to be true’ than anything else.” He looked everywhere but at her, swallowing hard. “I mean, there was a moment when he could’ve let something happen and didn’t...and he helped me work through some stuff...he seemed like a totally different person. But looks like he’s back to normal now, so...”

She took a step closer, expression pinched as it looked like she might reach for him, but she stopped herself short. “Right, well... I guess what I’m wondering is— what now? You’ve apologized, and so have I, but things aren’t just going to go back to the way they were. I guess...I want to know what you want. You know what I want, so...”

What now? As if he should know? A mirthless laugh flew past his lips before he could stop it, and he shook his head, fingers digging into his sides. “I think we figured out what we both wanted last night. And...it just doesn’t fit. I’m sorry for how I handled it, the..._ unnecessary _ stuff I said, but other than that, my feelings haven’t changed.”

“Well, mine haven’t either. I don’t want to choose between the two of you. I told Kylo that, too. I don’t want to lose either of you, but... he said you would never be willing to share. And I get that. It’s selfish of me to ask. But.... I don’t know what to do. If I choose neither of you, then all three of us will end up with nothing. I don’t know how to avoid that, though.”

His teeth ground together as she started off, eyes dark and pinned on the ground. How many times did he have to hear this? Earlier today, he might’ve felt a _ little _ more okay about it, a little more understanding—after all, if Kylo had enough of a soul to save his life, to be so kind after what Ben did to him, surely that meant Rey was right. That Kylo was at least a _ tiny _ bit worthy of her affection. But now he was back to sneaking around and gloating. Did he save Ben just so he could keep enjoying his pain?

“Well, he’s right,” he finally grit out. “I _ don’t _ want to share.” 

Even if Kylo had changed and Ben was just overreacting to his tasteless jokes, that didn’t change the conclusion they’d reached earlier about Rey. Would she even want him if he wasn’t a twin? 

“Look...we haven’t even...” Unable to say _ kissed _ or _ touched _ or _ fucked _, he motioned weakly between them. “I don’t believe you’re actually attracted to me. Just the idea of me. I don’t know what that idea is, exactly, but I don’t want any part of it.”

“The idea of you? Ben, I don’t even understand what that _ means _.”

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Was she really playing dumb right now? “The whole twin thing, the whole good guy, bad guy cliche...it doesn’t really work with just _ one _ of us, so...yeah. That’s the idea of me.” 

“I _ am _ attracted to you,” she insisted, “I have been for a long time. At first, I just liked how I felt around you. Safe. It was nice to be doted on. But then...I began to like being around you for other reasons. You wanted to know me. Actually know me. And I wanted to know you, too. And then I...I started wanting to get to know you in other ways. I knew— or I thought— it could never happen. So I took as much as I could. Anytime you even brushed against me, it was a thrill. Sometimes, I would imagine you weren’t looking at me like a sister but like... something else. And I wanted that. I _ want _ that.”

A fist clenched around his heart and the corners of his eyes stung. It felt like he was being torn in two. This was all he ever wanted to hear, everything that would’ve made him the happiest man in the world—if she’d said so a few days ago. Before she got her _ thrills _ from Kylo instead. 

He flinched as the door behind her swung open. Turned out it was just another customer passing by, but it reminded him of where they were, who they were with. Their parents would start looking for them soon. 

Ben’s voice was barely above a whisper as he stepped past her to trudge back inside. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just too late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst will be over soon, we promise! In the meantime, enjoy this mediocre [youtube edit](https://youtu.be/ZCDlixbOxP4) for this fic (by me, Julia)


	15. Unbalanced

It was about midnight when Ben rose out of bed. Or the futon he called a bed. That thing would’ve been hard enough to sleep on without about two tons of stress weighing on him. He didn’t want to think about Rey, and he especially didn’t want to think about Kylo—but they’d both wormed their way into his heart and brain, twisting his feelings, his mind, his whole sense of _ reality _ on every turn.

If he didn’t agree to this fucked up open relationship, he’d basically choose Kylo for her. Or she’d keep to her word and choose neither. He didn’t know which was worse. 

_ Turn it off_, hissed a cold voice from the depths of his subconscious. _ Stop feeling. Stop thinking. Do what works. _

What worked for Kylo had to work for him. If he could just get into that mindset...at least he’d get _ something_. 

Ben ignored the pattering of his heart as he slowly twisted the knob to Rey’s room. She couldn’t hear him coming. If she did, she’d want to _ talk_. Once the door was open enough to squeeze through, he slipped in on silent feet towards her bed. 

Now his pulse was in his ears. He chose to hear that as a drumbeat propelling him towards victory as his knees sunk into the mattress, then his hands, caging either side of the soft body curled beneath him. 

Of course, part of this felt wrong. Predatory. But he just kept reminding himself that she liked it this way—wrongness excited her. So as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, they focused in on her lips, parted with soft, sleepy breaths. He’d always dreamed of kissing those lips. Now, he finally had the chance. 

He seized them before he could stop himself. The kiss wasn’t hard enough to be painful, but definitely forceful, messy and desperate, brimming with every emotion he’d repressed since he’d first laid eyes on her.

“Ben?”

He barely heard her say his name over the pounding in his veins, nerves sizzling with sweet, sick adrenaline. But he couldn’t ignore the pressure of hands pushing against his chest. His mouth ripped from hers with a ragged gasp, eyes black and creased with confusion as he stared down at her.

“Don’t. Don’t do this to me,” she pleaded softly. “If I... if I’m going to lose you, just don’t. “

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” he whispered, lips still trembling from the kiss—his _ first _ kiss. “You’re not losing anything. I’m here...”

One of her hands trailed up from his chest to cup his cheek. 

“You’ll leave me,” she whispered. “I want you, but you’ll leave me. You _ will _.”

His jaw locked and he shook his head in quick jerks, blocking out the sheen of her eyes. No, no, no, this was all wrong—he was giving her what she wanted, why was she crying? 

_ Bet she didn’t cry when Kylo kissed her. _

“I won’t, I won’t...” His lips pressed feverishly against her damp temples. “Let me make you feel good, don’t think about it, just be with me _ now _...”

“No...” She shuddered and pushed him with more force. “No. _ No_. I can’t. _ Now _ will be gone. And then— and then when it’s _ later _— you’ll be gone. You’ll leave me. I’ll be alone. Again.”

Her pleas cut him to the core. _ Monster_, they seemed to hiss, over and over until he once again tore himself away, this time all the way back on his haunches. His hair curtained his face as his chest rose and fell with fuming breaths. 

“I’m _ not _ leaving you. Why do you think I am? Why do I have to try so much harder than him? Why is nothing I do ever good enough? What do you _ want _ from me?”

Slowly, she sat up on the bed and pressed herself against the headboard. 

“Ben... It’s tearing me apart. I know what I have to do. I have to— I have to give you both up. You _ and _ Kylo. I just...I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

In any other situation, her tears would’ve made him crumble. He would’ve held her, soothed her, done anything to make her feel better. But she wouldn’t let that happen. She _ refused _ to let the pain stop. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he seethed, fingers twisting in the sheets before he shoved himself off the bed onto his feet. “You’re not losing me, you’re _ pushing _ me away. After you all but begged me to be with you, twice since last night! I’ve done everything in my power to wrap my head around this, to shove my feelings to the side and just _ try _ and bend to your will—but you never actually wanted that, did you? You just wanted to fuck with me. What’s _ wrong _ with you?!”

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve changed your mind?” A flicker of fire lit behind her eyes. “Are you saying you’re willing to share?”

“I don’t know!” His voice was still low enough not to disturb anyone that wasn’t right outside the door, but it rose in pitch, manic and wild. “Can I not just see what it _ feels _ like before I draft out a fucking relationship agreement? Did you ask Kylo to share before you let him touch you?” 

This was so unfair. His fingers were shaking as if he might actually blow to pieces at any second. 

“Why didn’t I think of that?” she muttered darkly. “What a great fucking idea. Let me just lay on my back and open myself up to you so you can have a sample before being asked to make a purchase.” 

“So you can feel things out on a whim but if I want to do the same, it’s a ‘sample’ and a ‘purchase’? Oh fuck _ off_, you don’t know the first thing about how I feel—you never did.” 

“You literally just asked me if you could just see what it’s like to be with me before making a commitment! You’re calling _ that _ a whim?” she demanded, exasperated. 

“Fine, I thought about it, but don’t you _ dare _ call it a purchase like I’m treating you like some kind of prostitute,” he snarled. “I haven’t been in a relationship before, but I’m pretty sure most people don’t agree to one without having any idea what it will be like! _ Especially _ not the kind of relationship you’re demanding!” 

“You know what I think? I think you’re just trying to get even with Kylo. That’s all.”

A grating laugh rattled from his throat as he turned away from her, but she kept going. 

“And you’re trying to bend to my will by _what_? Sneaking into my room at night? Because you still somehow think that’s all I want? I don’t want just your body, Ben. I want _ you _. And Kylo. But I can’t have one without hurting the other, so I don’t deserve either.”

“You said yourself you’d hurt _ all _ of us if you decided not to choose,” he snapped, whirling back to face her. “But now you think that’s the best option, all because I tried to give you what you _ asked _ for? You already know what it’s like to be with me in every other way. The only reason you’re stopping me now is because you don’t want me. **Admit it**.”

The heels of her hands scrubbed over her eyes as she bit back a frustrated cry. “I wasn’t thinking about _ anything _ like this before Kylo. I didn’t think it was anything more than a fantasy; getting to have you and him as something more. So I’m sorry I hadn’t thoroughly considered the repercussions of asking both of my _ brothers _ to be amenable to sharing before I knew either of you even _ wanted _ me.”

He was two seconds from storming out the door before her next words wrangled him back in the fight. 

“I’ll admit this, Ben: I don’t want to hurt myself anymore than I already have. I don’t want to hurt _ you_. Do you really think either of us could touch each other, _ have _ each other, and just walk away?”

“You’ve already hurt me more than you could possibly imagine,” he seethed. “If you gave me a chance, no, I couldn’t walk away. But you’re giving me no choice now.”

“You know what? No.” 

When she scrambled off the bed towards him, he stood his ground, fully prepared to grab her wrist if she tried to hit him. After all, the only way she _ hadn’t _ wounded him yet was physically. Though her hand went for the door instead for his face, it still twisted the knife in his gut. 

“You’re the one who told me it’s too late. So fine. Leave. I’m not giving myself to you out of a sense of obligation. Or to be fair. I wanted to give myself to you because I _ love _ you.” Bringing a hand up to her face, she wiped away the tear tracks on her cheeks and choked on a sob. “But not like this. I don’t want it to be like this.”

_ I love you. _

No. He couldn’t let it sink in, it was just another lie—the cruelest kind she could devise. He had to swallow twice before he could force a word out. 

“Don’t...don’t say things you don’t mean...”

A broken whisper carried her words. “I do love you, Ben.”

His feet were bolted to the floor, throat closed up so tight he could barely breathe, let alone speak. He stood there for several agonizing seconds, willing himself to just _ go _ already—but he couldn’t. Pressure was closing in behind his eyes, heat spiraling up his spine. The dam would break any second. 

A strangled noise rose from deep in his chest as he finally crumpled to the floor, head in his hands and knees drawn tight to his chest. Barely coherent curses burst from his lips as his fist beat against the back of his head. Too weak to do any real damage, but if he could beat himself senseless, he would.

A hand gently wrapped around his to stop him. He tried to yank his hand away at first, but all the fight had been drained from his body, leaving only the faintest of protests before his fingers went limp. His shoulders shook underneath Rey’s weight as she crouched and enclosed around him, somehow suffocating and soothing him all at once. 

“Then how could you...why....You had to know...had to know...I felt it first...” he babbled between sobs and coughs and heaving gasps, emotions swirling too fast and too loud for him to process. 

“I keep trying to explain,” she whispered, voice strained, “I keep trying to tell you I— I thought it was a fantasy. I thought you only saw me as your little sister. Anytime I thought maybe you saw me as something else...I worried I was projecting my hopes onto you. I didn’t _ realize_, Ben. Not until...not until it was too late.”

He wished he’d never met her. 

No, he wished Kylo had never been born. 

No, he wished _ he _ had never been born. 

Why couldn’t any of them be fucking normal? 

“I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so sorry.”

She let go of his hand so she could wrap both of her arms around him. As soon as his hand was free, it returned to his skull, gripping rather than beating. He wished he could reach in there and yank all that sickly matter out—shove a healthy brain in. A blank slate. But the memories couldn’t be erased. Even Kylo knew that. The past two days had been the worst hell of his life, and honestly, he wasn’t sure he had an ounce of sanity left. 

_ She has to know how I feel... Does she love _ him_, too? Wait, what am I thinking, of course she does...can’t expect to get a single thing to myself... How can she love me if she thinks I’d just use her and leave? Who does she think I am? Kylo? Ah, but he’s the doting boyfriend now, I’m the savage... _

God, he was sick of thinking about Kylo. 

“I didn’t come in here for revenge,” he finally spat out once he’d caught his breath, though his face was still hot and soaked with tears. “Tell me I don’t have to spell it out for you. Tell me you _ know _ me.”

“I know Ben, I know...” she whispered. “I’m scared, Ben. I’m just so scared that I’m going to lose everything I love. You, Kylo, this family... I’m so scared of it all slipping through my fingers. Of ending up all alone. Again.” 

“You’ll never lose this family. It’s written in stone now.” Or crystal, in the case of the necklace he gave her. R.S. Rey Solo. That couldn’t be undone—they couldn’t return her like a damaged product, even if they wanted to. “Everyone loves you too much.”

It wasn’t quite the same as what he needed to say, but it was the best he could muster at this point. He couldn’t ruin that moment like he’d ruined their first kiss.

“Ben...after Han, you were the first to welcome me. To make me feel wanted, and special, and _ whole _ . And I— I’m sorry I thought the worst of you. I know you’re not like that. I _ know_.”

His throat bobbed as his palms rubbed over his face, smearing tears into his skin before he took a deep breath, and finally met her gaze. His heart still gushed from several unchecked wounds, but her words managed to heal at least one of them. 

“If you don’t want to lose me, don’t push me away,” he finally said, fingers flexing over his knees as he debated reaching for her hand. “You don’t have to _ do _ anything...but...if you want me like I want you, and you trust me...I need you to show it. Somehow. I know I’m doing everything wrong, but you haven’t told me what the right way _ is_. Don’t make me keep guessing because I can’t take it anymore.

“Okay. Okay. I won’t push you away,” she quietly promised, clinging onto him tighter until her hand found his again. 

He was still stiff as he leaned into her. Warmth flowed from her fingers to his, slowly melting the ice in his veins until he was loose enough to stand with her.

She gently tugged him toward the bed. “Lay down with me. Please.”

Consciously, he believed her assurances, but his eyes were still wary as he crawled in after, curling into himself rather than against her. Did she just want to spend the night with him? See what that felt like? His aching bones and zapped psyche certainly wouldn’t object…

“Come here,” she whispered.

A sliver of moonlight from the window hit his eyes as they flicked up to hers, and he let her tug him closer, chest rising in shallow, uneven breaths until his head fell against her chest. His eyes fluttered closed at the gentle massage of her fingers against his scalp.

“Is this okay?” she asked

Tentatively, he draped one arm over her waist, and gave a quick nod at her question. She might as well have asked if it was okay to give him life-saving surgery. A while after she’d wound her legs around his, his arm wrapped tighter around her and squeezed, clinging on as if she’d disappear at any moment.

_Don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go... _

Once he was sure she wouldn’t, that he had her at least for now, his lips vibrated with four muffled words right over her heart. 

“I love you, too.”

Her soft breath tickled his scalp before her lips pressed to the top of his head, fingers still gliding through his hair. 

“I know...” she whispered softly, and finally, he felt a smile bend his lips.

***

Rey drifted slowly into consciousness. Inhaling deep, her lips twitched upward as a warm, heady sensation dripped through her limbs. For the first time in ages, she woke feeling serene and content. 

Most likely due to the strong arms she was caged in. Sometime during the night, she and Ben had shifted positions. Now she was cuddled up against his chest. Their legs were still intertwined, and she was all but straddling his thigh. 

There was something else. She didn’t understand how she hadn’t noticed sooner, but his hands were splayed over her shirt, fingers moving gently but restlessly, twisting the fabric. And there was something…rather hard pressing against the softness of her belly. 

A quick peek up at him confirmed he was still asleep. Meaning...he was having one hell of a dream. 

Ignoring the cloying heat in her abdomen, she carefully tried to untangle herself. Knowing Ben, if he woke up to find his hands pawing at her and his hips twitching, rubbing his morning wood against her, he’d be positively _ mortified. _

A small squeak escaped her as her attempt to pull away was met with a whine and resistance. _ Strong _resistance. His hands ceased their wandering, arms wrapped around her waist like a vice. How could anyone possibly have so much strength when they were asleep? 

He shook with a gasp, eyes fluttering, and Rey recognized the look of disorientation on his face -- the confusion of being suddenly wrenched out of a dream into cold, bright reality. 

They stared at each other for a handful of seconds. His eyes were glossy, but heated, pupils blown wide. 

“So uh— Good dream?” she ventured to ask, trying for a light tone to curb the panic mounting behind his eyes as he realized where he was. What he’d been dreaming. What he’d been _ doing. _

His jaw tightened before he abruptly released her and rolled over. “Don’t tease me…”

“No, Ben–” Planting one hand on his shoulder, she propped herself up on her elbow to peer around his back and into his face. She realized, belatedly, how he must be feeling. “I’m sorry…”

He still refused to meet her gaze, so she curled up next to him and tucked her forehead against the nape of his neck. She brought one hand up, running it soothingly along the length of his arm. “It’s…it’s alright. We can just forget about it, if you want.” 

After a moment, his tense body settled again, relaxing. 

“Don’t be sorry…you didn’t do anything wrong,” he sighed. “I’ve been trying to forget it for months…look where that’s gotten me.” 

He rolled back over to face her after a few seconds. A weak smile crossed his lips, as if trying to reassure her, but his eyes were pleading. “What are we going to do?”

Her eyes darted between his as she considered his question. 

“I don’t… I don’t want our friendship to change,” she murmured. Before he misunderstood, his expression already falling, she quickly continued, “I’m not saying I’m happy_ only _being friends with you. You know I want more than that. But...I don’t want to lose what we had. I know I was the one to jeopardize everything in the first place, but you’re, well, you’re my best friend. Just hanging out with you and talking about anything and everything… I still want that. So, so much.”

“I don’t want to lose that either...but with Kylo…” His expression darkened and he shook his head. “He already knows what ‘more’ feels like. And he’ll never stop chasing it. Even if his intentions weren’t what I thought, I can’t sit back and just…just let _ that _ happen again and again, knowing it could’ve just as easily been me.”

_ “ _It could still be you, too.” She kept her gaze steady while steeling herself against his reaction. No doubt he would just get angry, but she meant it. 

“If we agree to share you.” No bitterness tainted his tone, though there was clearly no joy, either. More of a dead acceptance. “I suppose there is no other option. If I ask you to choose, you’ll choose neither. I’d rather have part of you than nothing at all.” 

She stopped breathing entirely. Her ears weren’t playing tricks on her, right? _ Ben _ was agreeing to share? “R-really?”

“You’ll obviously be the one setting the rules….boundaries, whatever. But I don’t want him getting more than me just because he’s pushy enough to ask for it.” He bit his lip as he stared up at the ceiling. After a pause, he turned his gaze back towards her. “If we have to share, I just…want it to be balanced.” 

She chewed her bottom lip and nodded. “If we do this, then I would want us all to be honest about it with each other. Maybe not…share details, but communicate. Then if there was anything you thought wasn’t fair… we could fix it.”

“Right now, it feels _ very _unbalanced.”

An idea popped into her head; one that made her heart pick up its tempo. “Well, would you like to even out the scales? Just a little bit?” 

Her eyes settled on his lips, lingering there long enough for her point to be made before she glanced back up to meet his eye.

His breathing turned shallow, eyes widening. His lips parted, and then he practically lunged forward. The world stopped spinning when he captured her lips. His heart hammered hard enough for her to feel it, mirroring her own pulse as he clutched her to him.

She gasped when his tongue traced the seam of her lips. He was more demanding than she had expected, which shouldn’t have really been much of a surprise considering last night--plus the torment he had been through the past few months. She opened her mouth, a soft sigh of contentment leaving her when his tongue gently slid against hers. Testing. Tasting.

Their lips parted, both of them taking a second to catch their collective breath before they kissed again. This kiss was more languid and soft, both of them taking their time. His breathing steadied again as his hand slid lazily along her side to her hip, feeling the rise and fall of her curves.

A part of Rey marveled that she was actually here, with Ben, kissing him. She’d fantasized about this much longer than she would like to admit. Her bones turned to butter, and a small, contented noise hummed in her throat before she broke the kiss to murmur, “You’re good at this.” 

His eyes widened with pleasant surprise. “I am?”

She nodded, a warm smile curving her lips. Just like with Kylo, there was obvious inexperience. But Ben seemed more patient in his quest to learn. And she’d be more than happy to help him practice.

Chin tilting, she captured his lips once more in a sweet kiss. Just before she could deepen it, starting with a small swipe of her tongue to his lower lip, the door swung open with a deafening squeak. 

“Well, well. Isn’t this a cozy scene?”

_ Shit. _ For a fleeting moment, she considered untangling herself from Ben as Kylo waltzed into the room as if it were his own. But then again...there wasn’t really any point, was there? It’s not like she and Ben were doing anything more salacious than what she’d already done with his brother. 

When she worked up enough courage to peek over Ben’s shoulder, she found Kylo’s arms loose at his sides, sweatpants hung low about his hips. Though his demeanor was casual on first glance, his eyes were narrowed as they scanned over his siblings. 

“Didn’t see you in the office. Figured I’d find you in here,” he drawled in Ben’s direction, quirking a brow. “Aren’t you glad it was me and not our parents?” 

Ben gave him a dull glare. “At least they would’ve knocked.”

“You’re up...early,” Rey commented wryly, eyes roving over his face. Her heart gave a painful lurch. The doctor had said he’d look worse before he’d look better...and she knew from experience he was right. The dark blue bruises on Kylo’s face and neck had developed patches of yellow. In the back of her mind she knew it meant he was healing well, but seeing it was...painful.

Her suspicion was confirmed when he gestured vaguely at his wound. “This woke me up. So...did you guys fuck or what?” 

She groaned. “Oh, my god, I regret any and all sympathy I was just feeling for you.”

“_ Oh my god, _ it was just a question,” Kylo said, mocking her tone and exaggerating her accent, before Ben snipped back at him. 

“And the answer is none of your business.”

Kylo rolled his eyes, arms crossed. “Did she give you the terms and conditions first?”

Rey glanced to the door as she sat up straight. It was still very early, but even on vacation, Han and Leia had proven to be morning birds.

“Could you two lower your volume a bit, please?” she asked in a hushed tone, earning another annoyed look from Kylo. 

“They're not going to hear me, they’re upstairs. Probably fast asleep.” 

“Then can you at least close the door?” Ben snapped.

Kylo snorted but obeyed, pushing the door shut before he hopped onto the edge of the bed. 

“You didn’t answer me. Did she tell you you’d have to share, or what?” 

Ben refused to look him in the eye, jaw tight as he nodded. 

“And...?” Kylo pressed on, eyes darting between them. “You didn’t actually agree, did you?”

The urge to repeat what Ben said earlier was on the tip of Rey’s tongue, but she held back. It had to be his decision.

He gnawed on his lower lip, and after a long sigh, nodded again. “Yeah. I did.” 

“You did _ not_.” Kylo reeled back, brows scrunched and jaw hanging. “Stop fucking with me, come on...” 

“I’m serious.”

“It’s true,” Rey expelled the words on a long breath, unable to stop herself from grinning. _It’s true._ _It’s true! _“Ben made the point that it should be fair, though. You know... so we were evening the playing field back out a bit. Before you barged in.”

Kylo’s shocked face turned on her for a moment, but a snide smirk curled his lips when he looked back to Ben. “Do you even know what ‘evening the playing field’ would entail?” 

“I don’t _ want _ to know. We were just kissing.” 

“Aw.” Kylo’s eyes swung back to Rey as he crooned. “How sweet. Far from even, but sweet...”

“We agreed to keep details to an absolute bare minimum,” she warned him. “But if we keep things fair, and separate, then we can all get what we want. You’re...still on board, right?”

Kylo cocked his head. “How do we know things are fair if we don’t know the details? Rely on your word?” 

Ben fidgeted under the sheets, drawing his legs up to his chest so he could rest his forehead on his knees. 

“Okay, just tell me. I’ve been wondering for days,” he grit out. “No _ embellishments _, just...a basic description.” 

Kylo’s grin almost spread ear to ear before his wound made him hiss and wince. Still, once the pain faded, he wasted no time outlining his experiences to Ben. “I fingered her, and she blew me. We both came. Hard.” 

“Fucking hell—“ Ben fell back against the pillows with a growl. “I said no embellishments..!”

“I think he did fairly good, considering...” Rey muttered. Sure, Kylo could have left out the last little tidbit, but...it wasn’t as bad as she’d expected him to be. 

“It’s not just what you do, it’s how well you do it.” Kylo flashed his brother another smug grin. “Good luck keeping up.” 

“It’s not a competition...” 

“Uh-huh, sure.” Palms sliding over his thighs, Kylo glanced back to Rey with a bemused sigh. “You want me to leave you to it, or what?”

Her cheeks went up in flames, reddening to the very tips of her ears. Glancing toward Ben, she stammered. “I—uh— that is... I’m... not sure the mood is here anymore. You kinda ruined it by barging in.”

“Oh _ no _, I did?” Judging from the look on Kylo’s face, ruining the mood had been his exact intention. 

“Asshole,” Ben muttered. 

Rey rolled her eyes, but couldn’t keep a slight smirk off her lips. _ Asshole _ was right, but...she wouldn’t have him any other way. 

“So what changed your mind?” Kylo asked his brother, ignoring the insult. “I would’ve bet my left nut you’d never agree to share.” 

Ben’s eyes rolled to the ceiling and stayed there. “Sorry to disappoint.” 

“Seriously, I’m curious. Why?”

“Because of a private conversation between me and Rey. And...” The hum of the AC was the only sound for several seconds. “And because of what you did for me.“

Her brows twitched together. As far as she knew, Kylo had just helped him get drunk... 

No, what was that other thing Ben said? Kylo had stopped him from doing something...doing what? 

“What uh— what happened?” she fumbled over her words. “Between you two? Yesterday?”

Ben kept his mouth shut, but so did Kylo. He maintained a firm, expectant stare on his twin until Ben finally answered for himself. “He saved my life. I swallowed a bunch of his pills...or tried to. He beat them out of me.”

_ What?! _

Her throat constricted, eyes bugging wide. She stared at Ben incredulously, then looked to Kylo, then back to Ben again. His name choked in her throat as she wrapped her arms around him, tugging him close. 

He fell limply into her arms, still avoiding eye contact. “I’m fine now, I just...” He didn’t finish his sentence, opting to bury his face in her shoulder instead with a deep sigh. 

“I know, Ben, I know, but just let me...let me have this,” she murmured.

She squeezed him tightly for a moment, and reached for Kylo next. She hugged him to her, her heart constricting painfully in her chest.

Kylo was stiff, clearly taken aback as he warily eyed her and Ben. Though awkward and silent, he didn’t retreat from the group hug.

“Could the three of us get any more dramatic?” she asked, tone dripping with a mixture of both awe and sarcasm.

“Runs in the family.” Ben’s voice vibrated dryly against her shoulder, and Kylo snorted. 

“Wait ‘til you hear about Grandfather.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are relieved as we are to see our babies finally drag themselves out of the pit of angst (and NOT die afterwards). Not to say it'll all be fluff and fun from here on out...but anyway, please let us know what you think!


	16. Tide Pools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long one for you guys ;) Hope you like it!  
\- Julia

_ Thump-thump-thump-thump... _

All three froze as a small pair of feet padded downstairs. 

“Kids! Breakfast!” 

Kylo secretly hoped Leia had somehow found the time to buy groceries for a home cooked breakfast—he was really starting to miss Rey’s omelettes—but alas, ‘breakfast’ just meant piling in the car and heading to the nearest drive thru. The fancy part was bringing it back to eat on the roof deck. 

”You’re all very quiet.” Leia crumpled up a spent wrapper as Han devoured her unwanted hash browns. 

“Nice change,” he grumbled between bites. “But someone still owes me whiskey...”

Ben sighed and started to stand from his deck chair, but Kylo shot up first. 

“Me and Rey’ll get it for you. Won’t we?”

Rey had, as usual, been the first to finish her meal. She still hadn’t broken her habit of scarfing down her food like a starving raccoon, and sometimes it seemed like she and Han raced to finish first. 

It took her a second to snap out of whatever daydream she’d been in, eyes trained on the water as she rocked on the hind legs of her chair. “Huh? Oh, yeah! Sure. No problem.”

“I can go with you...” Ben said, but before Kylo could shoo him away (he _ had _ requested time alone with Rey first, it wasn’t his fault Ben squandered sharing a bed with her) Leia cleared her throat. 

“Actually, Ben, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the museum with me.” 

Kylo didn’t bother to repress a snort. _ Aw, museum with Mommy... _

“These two won’t go.” Leia gestured to him and Han. “And I need a tour guide.” 

“Just because I’m a history major doesn’t mean I know literally everything about the past of any given...” Ben tried to protest, but gave up with a sigh when Leia shot him _ that look _. The look that said ‘cooperate, or else’. “Okay, okay, fine...”

“I’ll help clean up,” Rey announced as always. Since it was all takeaway, the process for cleaning up was a quick one, and she went to change afterwards. Kylo lingered outside her door until she emerged in a fresh tank and shorts, with a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. 

“Ready to go?” she asked.

He lifted his fingers, car keys jangling between them. “Does it look like I’m ready?” 

His arm swept around her to lead her out to the car, and once they were on the road, he changed the station from classic rock to heavy metal. He wouldn’t really listen to it with Rey here, but he knew it would irritate Han later. 

“Mm, which one, which one,” he mused as one liquor store after the next passed in his side mirrors. For Rey’s sake, he didn’t want one that looked _ too _ seedy—like _ Greedo’s_, a rundown shack with a parking lot full of Harley’s—but he also didn’t want to walk in some overpriced shop where they’d probably kick him out because his scar looked ‘suspicious’.

“I think I saw one a bit up the road,” Rey pointed, “Near an inlet that had a sign saying something about tide pools. Wanna grab the booze and then go check it out?”

He leaned a bit over the wheel, peering ahead, then nodded when he spotted the sign: _ Tatooine Tides _. 

He left Rey waiting by the car, not wanting to risk her being asked for an ID and compromising their mission. The store was rather unremarkable, aside from a tiny hooded shopkeeper, who had the yellowest eyes Kylo had ever seen and spoke only in gestures and grunts. After buying the first bottle of Jack Daniel’s he saw and stowing it away in the trunk, he grabbed Rey’s hand and led her down to the tide pools out back. 

“Mm, at last...” he hummed when he found the area completely deserted. 

Honestly, he hadn’t expected much from a series of glorified puddles, but when he looked down at one, he gasped. “Look, they’ve got those spiky ball things—what do you call them, uh...” 

“Looks like it’d hurt like hell if you stepped on one,” she muttered, shuddering. 

It took him an embarrassingly long time to remember the name. “Urchins! Oh my god, I need to put one of these in Mom’s purse...”

Laughing, she took his wrist and led him away. “No, Kylo. Let’s not put a sea creature in her Valentino white bag. Let’s look over— oh! Look at that!” 

She pointed to a huge starfish lounging in the water and beamed. “Look at the color...it’s so pretty!”

“Oh yeah, very pretty,” he agreed, then bent to look closer at a green, tentacled thing. “Will this kill me if I touch it?”

“I don’t know if it’ll kill you, but—“ 

He didn’t wait for her to finish before poking the anemone—which luckily, did not kill him, just stuck to his fingers in a strange, gooey sort of way.

She grimaced as it made a gross squelching sound. “I can’t wait until you poke your finger in something strange and get it bit off.”

He almost made a _ Teeth _ joke, but decided to save it, just snickering to himself. “Feels like the inside of a fleshlight.”

“Do I even want to know what that is?”

“You don’t know?” He gaped as he spun back to face her. When she raised a brow and offered a weak shrug, his mind was made up. “I _ have _ to take you to a sex shop, ASAP. Someone who’s banging both her brothers can’t be this innocent.”

A blush erupted over her cheeks. “I should have expected it to be a sex thing...” 

Snorting, he jumped over a pool to join her on a rocky bank, taking both her hands in his as if he were about to ask a solemn question. “Please tell me you at least know what a vibrator is.” 

Or preferably that she’d used one...Mm. That was a nice mental image.

Further color painted her cheeks and she scoffed, looking down at their hands. “Of course I do! I...haven’t ever seen one, but I know what they are.”

His eyes bugged. “Never seen one! Holy shit, you are deprived.”

“Yeah? Well you are _ depraved_.”

Did she never seek out ‘assistance’ because she didn’t require it? She came so easily on his untrained fingers, after all...what if that was her first orgasm? If it was, he didn’t know whether to feel proud or pity her. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he purred, pulling her close to kiss the side of her neck, and she melted into him almost instantly. “I’ll get you so many things to play with...”

“I thought you had plenty of your own equipment for me to play with...”

He chuckled against her neck and gave her a little nip. “Why does everyone keep assuming I have a ton of equipment lying around..?” Aside from a fleshlight (which turned out to be not much better than his hand), he hadn’t ever bought any sex toys, just browsed some shops when he was bored. “I haven’t had anyone to buy equipment for until now.”

“I wasn’t talking about store-bought. Pretty sure home grown is just as good,” she teased, poking him in the chest.

_ Home grown? The hell is she talking about, extra large cucumbers or— _ Oh. Right. His dick counted as ‘equipment’. 

“You can certainly play with that all you like...” His kisses moved to her jaw as his hips ground lightly against her. “But I thought you weren’t ready for me to...be inside you.”

Her hands looped around his waist, keeping him close. She swallowed thickly, murmuring, “Well, now that things seem to be settled with Ben, and we’re all on the same track, _ that’s _ gonna happen soon, right?”

His breath hitched, corners of his lips stretched into a faint, hopeful smile as he pulled back to look her in the eye. “I get first dibs, right?”

"Don't be gross," she chided him with a small laugh.

“I’m not being gross.“ He really wanted to know, and not for competition purposes—at least, not primarily. 

"It doesn't really matter, does it?"

“Of course it matters,” he murmured, gazing at her through his lashes as his forehead rested against hers. “You always remember your first, right?”

“It’s Ben’s first, too,” she murmured. “I think we should probably all have a serious discussion about it, don’t you?”

He bit his lip, eyes lowering to the rocks beneath their feet. “We’re having a discussion now...we can fill him in on it later. Don’t you think it’ll be easier to focus on one of us at a time?”

For once, he didn’t want to rip something away from Ben. If he could have Rey without hurting--or_ triggering_\--his brother, he would prefer it. But this was vitally important. She cared about both of them, sure, but her choice in this matter would reveal who she cared for more.

Her arms squeezed around him tighter and she softly admitted, “I don’t know, Kylo. I was thinking I’d just...ignore the virginity thing. That maybe it wouldn’t matter. Both of you would have your first time with me, and I would just— I don’t know— not? I don’t want to get hung up on who _ I’ve _ been with first.”

He sighed, eyes dull as he stared down at her. “You can’t just ignore your first time. I’m not saying it‘s some holy, sacred thing, but...it should matter who you share it with. And even if it doesn’t matter to you, it’ll matter to _ us_.”

She echoed his sigh and leaned up on her toes to press her forehead to his, hands smoothing up and down his back. 

“I don’t know. I told you from the beginning I don’t want to choose one of you over the other, and I meant that in all things.” Huffing a humorless laugh against his lips, she joked, “Maybe I should just let you and Ben play tug-of-war with me and whoever wins gets to fourth base first.”

“Yeah, sure, that won’t end badly or anything...” His lids fluttered wide open then, and he leaned back, struck by an epiphany. “_Or..... _”

His idea was absurd. Ridiculous. A bit unsettling, and possibly dangerous. So of course, in his head, it was the _ perfect _ solution. “We both have you at the _ same time. _”

Spluttering, she recoiled by instinct, trying to take a step back, but he still held onto her hand. “Wh-What?! That’s not even possible!”

“Sure it is! With enough preparation...and lube...” And he and Ben would have to firmly ignore each other. Pretend she was just that tight. But it could work. It _ had _ to work. Otherwise, he and Ben would actually end up fighting over her, someone would up hurt, she’d get pissed and refuse to sleep with either of them, and they’d all be stuck in this virgin stalemate forever.

“And you think Ben would agree to this because...?” she ventured, looking at him like he’d sprouted two heads.

He let out a dry laugh and shrugged. “Because of the same reason he agreed to share in the first place. Because he has no other option.”

“I still think he’s never going to agree... and I still don’t even think it’s possible! Try not to let this statement go to your head, but you’re pretty well-endowed. I’m gonna guess you two are twins in _ every _ way, so I really don’t see how it could possibly work.”

His lips drew wide in a crooked grin, eyes gleaming. 

“Why, _ thank you. _ I was hoping you’d notice...” His ego was only slightly dampened by the reminder that Ben was his equal in size—at least, from what he could remember last time they’d seen each other naked. Which was a long, long time ago. But in any case... “I’ve seen enough porn to know it can work. We’ll be gentle. And you’ll get such a good story out of it! Not that I expect you to tell anyone it was _ us _, but still, two guys for your first time...” 

She cocked a brow at his assurances, and squeezing her hand, he dropped his tone to a more serious note again. “But really...what’s the alternative? You keep saying you can’t choose.”

“Hopefully Ben will be able to come up with an idea neither of us thought of,” she said with a weak smile, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

“Please. He’s about as creative as a bowl of vanilla pudding.”

“He’s surprised us before...” Pressing her pelvis against his, she looped her arms around the back of his neck and pressed herself into him. “In the meantime...we can do anything we want leading up to _ that_, right?”

His gaze refocused on her lips, then lower and lower as she went on. 

“Uh-huh...” He nodded slowly, hands sliding to her hips. “Anything...”

She played with the hair at the nape of his neck for a moment, then leveraged herself higher, where his lips slanted eagerly against hers. His skin tingled beneath her touch as he yanked her hips against his. It still stung to open his mouth too wide, but he ignored it, tongue tracing the seam of her lips and tasting her deep. 

He only pulled back when he was out of breath and throbbing steadily against her. “Okay...I’m gonna give you a ten second head start...if I catch you before you get to the car, we’re going to ‘get lost’ all fucking day...”

A devious smile curled her lips. “Promise?” 

Before he could say another word, she bolted, running as fast as her legs could carry her. She’d never been one to back down from a challenge. And he’d never been one to let go of an idea, no matter how deranged or juvenile. 

The second her back turned, his knees hit the stone, eyes darting and hands hovering over the water until he spotted... “Ha!” 

His laugh morphed into a hiss as soon as his fingers closed around the urchin. 

“Shit! Ow, ow, ow—“ 

But he was already on his feet again, his little ‘gift’ for Leia stowed away in his pocket and hand stinging as his legs pumped after Rey. He hadn’t exactly counted to ten—but since when was he a fair player?

***

“This is so exciting, Ben! We haven’t been out together, just the two of us, in ages,” Leia gushed, all but vibrating in the plush leather seats of the Uber Black. The sleek vehicle pulled up to the museum, and Leia wasted no time tugging Ben through the door, buying their passes, and pulling him into the exhibits. 

Ben had forced a smile and nodded, but his gaze remained blank and unfocused, even as they strolled through the museum. Under normal circumstances, some of the exhibits would’ve demanded his attention. Artifacts from shipwrecks, wars, native tribes...none of it could sink into the cluttered disaster zone of his mind. 

No way in hell Kylo had _ just _ taken Rey to the liquor store. They were probably out in some alleyway or secluded park right now, finishing what they started, while Ben barely got to start anything. 

If Rey’s affection could be counted in dollars, it was starting to resemble the national debt.

“Tell me about this one,” Leia asked for the umpteenth time, pointing to another display, and a harsh sigh forced past his lips. 

“I already told you, I don’t know. Does anything in here _ look _ like it came from the European Renaissance?” 

Even that was a ridiculously broad category for his expertise—which was 16th century Rome, if she ever cared to listen to the past five hundred times he’d said so. Jesus, how hard was this to understand?

She scoffed and shot him a glare out of the corner of her eye. “You could just read me the plaque, you know.”

What, like she couldn’t read herself? Most of the time, Ben resented it when Han teased Leia about being a spoiled princess, but at times like this, he really did feel like some kind of servant. 

Shoulders deflating, she sighed. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.” 

He didn’t have much of an appetite as she led him from the exhibits to the criminally overpriced cafe. But of course, she wouldn’t be satisfied until he bought _ something_.

They settled at a semi-secluded table by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a park. While his latte sat untouched, Leia had gotten herself a French Dip and smoothed a white napkin over her lap. 

“I think we need to have a chat, Ben.”

His tone matched his thousand yard stare. “About what?” 

“I know what’s going on between you, Kylo, and Rey.”

The words shot through him like an arrow to the heart, and his pulse thumped in his ears. “Wh...what?”

She knew?! No, no, she couldn’t know, she couldn’t possibly have waited this long, been so calm all day if she really knew...could she?

After taking a sip of her sparkling water, she raised one shoulder. “It’s alright, Ben. This whole situation... Rey walking into our lives out of the blue, changing this family forever, it’s bound to stir up feelings we’re not used to. Ones that make us uncomfortable. It’s alright, Ben. It’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling.” 

His stomach didn’t just churn, it tied itself into knots and did a fucking backflip as his knuckles turned white at the edge of the table.

No, no, no, this was not happening—he didn’t want to hear it was alright, he didn’t want to hear anything about this, not from his _ mother_. Where was this coming from?! 

Pausing to take a bite of her sandwich, she chewed and swallowed. “I went through a similar experience, you know. I didn’t know Luke very well when we were young— we were separated when we were little and, well— you know that story.”

Oh god. Not Luke, why was she talking about Luke? Was it true she kissed him? He thought that had just been another one of Han’s sick jokes, and Ben only overheard it once, but...what the fuck. Did incest just run in this family?

Her rings glistened in the sunlight as she waved her hand. “But even so, we grew closer when we were older and off on our own. Then he met Han and the two of them became thick as thieves. I was so— _ jealous _ of their easy friendship. I thought I hated Han. But he grew on me and... well...you know the rest. Anyway...” Leaning back in her seat, she pinned him with a knowing look. “There are a lot of things I don’t know. I can freely admit that. I don’t know why you went moping about for a month up until recently, or why you’re so out of it now, but I have a theory. You’re jealous. Just like I was. Of Kylo’s relationship with Rey. The fact that they’re getting along so well now, when they weren’t in the beginning.”

‘Getting along so well?’ Was...was that all she meant? Platonic jealousy? He swallowed hard, still unable to make eye contact despite his slowing pulse. The leftover adrenaline made him nauseous. 

“Yeah, that’s...that’s it. You got it.” He nodded, tightlipped, hoping this reply would satisfy her and they could never speak of this again.

“Oh, Ben,” she sighed, reaching out for his hand and taking it in hers. His arms pressed tight against his sides when she reached for his hand, but he didn’t have it in him to deny her completely. Not when she was trying so hard to connect. 

Ducking her head, she sought out his gaze. “I know it’s difficult. I’ve been in your shoes. I wanted nothing more than to be Luke’s best friend. His confidante. The one person in the world he could always turn to, and I wanted him to be that for me. I thought our being twins would give us some kind of connection that others didn’t have...and as you’re well aware by your own experiences, that’s not always the case.”

The edge of his mouth twitched in an almost-smile. Once upon a time, he wished he and Kylo could’ve had that stereotypical psychic bond they were _ supposed _ to have—but after he gave up on his brother, he supposed he projected those wishes onto Rey. 

“You’ve always been a wonderful son,” she continued with a soft sigh. “And I know I’ve asked so much of you. I’ve felt bad for it, at times; for putting so much pressure on you...being so demanding. But...if you’ll take my guidance just one last time, let it be this; communicate with them. Both of them. Open yourself up for discussion and let your feelings be known. Don’t just spend time with Rey _ or _ Kylo, but together. Laughter and quality time shared with those we love is the best way to strengthen our bonds to each other and...and to feel better understood.”

His eyes stung as they flicked back up hers, and the fist between his lungs finally unclenched. His lips parted in a soft exhale before he spoke. “We’re...we’re working on it. Rey’s made him more, um...empathetic, so...we’re trying to get along. For her sake.”

“That’s wonderful, Ben.” She gave his hand a couple pats and let it go, quickly dabbing the corners of her eyes with her napkin and straightening her spine back out again. “Well, that’s enough of my prying and wisdom-vomiting. Next time, you come to me when you’re feeling down, alright? It’s painful for me to see you hurting.”

Though he couldn’t promise to come to her with any honesty when it came to Kylo or Rey, he had to ask... 

“Do you think you would’ve handled Dad’s friendship with Luke, or gotten close with Dad if you weren’t...you know...romantically interested in him? Just seems like that’s um...a big difference in our situations.” 

He could never picture his parents just being friends. He didn’t want to think about it, but he knew there was only one reason they got together, and came back to each other time and time again. And _ obviously _ he couldn’t patch the wounds between him and Kylo with sheer chemistry. That was just...disgusting. 

_ So is being in love with your sister, _ a familiar voice sneered, then cackled as he tried to stamp it out.

Leia hummed, considering. “My situation isn’t a direct parallel to yours, of course. But to answer your question...I don’t know. He was always so _ pushy_, your father. Pressing all my buttons and getting me riled up. I really thought I hated him. But then one day he got me all heated and angry with him and then swept me up in a kiss, the scoundrel, and it was history from there.”

His nose wrinkled, lips twisted with a grimace. Yeah, _ that _ certainly wasn’t gonna happen with him and Kylo.

_ Unless Rey decides she wants to take this little threeway to the next level and make you kiss— _

His eyes screwed shut for a second as he tried again to beat the voice into submission. _ Shut up, shut up, shut UP. _

“That’s probably why Kylo and Dad hate each other so much,” he coughed, changing the subject for his own sake. “They’re so similar, you know...”

Leia snorted, rolling her eyes. "Those two are going to be the death of me, I swear. I thank the Maker I had at least one mild-mannered son. You have no idea what a blessing and a balm you've been for me whenever they’re at each other's throats...though I do suppose your earlier point was true. Ever since Kylo and Rey got closer, he's been behaving more. Not exactly like the angel that you are, but the devil horns are shrinking a fraction."

An angel, huh? A snort escaped him as he brushed his hair away from his eyes before finally taking a sip of his coffee. Hm. Not too bad. 

“He said Rey’s the first person he could trust. And I don’t think he was ever actually happy before he met her, so...guess he doesn’t need to get his kicks from tormenting us anymore.”

"He told you that?" After taking a long sip of her drink, Leia shook her head. "It’s...a little depressing to hear he was never happy with the family he already had, but...it's not surprising."

“He told me the trust thing, I just assumed the rest,” Ben quickly clarified, and his expression twinged slightly. The only reason it was easy to assume was because he felt the same way. Not that he’d _ never _ been happy, just...not with his family. But could any of them claim otherwise? There was a reason his parents always had a drink in hand and Kylo stayed stoned out of his mind. But maybe now...just a little...things could change.

The frown that had drawn her features down eased a bit, and she turned warm eyes back on him. "She makes you happy, too. I can tell. Or at least she did, before all this jealousy nonsense got in the way. I hope you're able build your bridges with her again. And, hopefully, with Kylo."

As if on cue, his eyes brightened at the mention of Rey. “She does—we’re better now. Almost back to normal. I don’t think I’ll ever be close with Kylo, but...he’s not _ so _ awful anymore.”

Her brows raised and her smile grew. "That's wonderful to hear, dear. I hope I didn't sound bitter earlier; I'm glad for all that Rey has done for us. She's been a great addition to this family."

“I know,” he said, fingers tracing the coffee cup absentmindedly. “She’s the missing piece we all needed...” 

***

Of all the things Rey had imagined doing on this vacation, being firmly pressed into the backseat of Leia’s minivan while her half-brother snogged her socks off was not among them.

“Fuck,” she hissed, eyes rolling into the back of her head as her core throbbed in response to his attention. His mouth on her neck and the grinding of his hips were perfect— just perfect— _ right there _…

She tugged at his hair and kissed him soundly. Despite the voice in her head chanting _ more, more, more_, her hands were gentle as they cupped his face. She didn’t want to see him in any more pain. Even when he tried to get a little rougher, a little more heated, she chided him. 

“Careful! Slow down. You want to end up looking like Freddy Krueger? Do me a favor and make sure when you scar, you scar sexy...”

He whined against her lips and tugged at her shorts, fumbling to get them unbuttoned. “But there’s so many things I want to try that require...face action.” Shimmying down her body, he pressed kisses all along her toned belly, eyes dark and glimmering through a curtain of messy hair.

“Oh _ fuck_,” she whimpered, liquid heat cloying so thickly in her abdomen she felt like she’d combust if something wasn’t done about it soon. Though her better judgement screamed at her not to, she lifted her hips for him. Only when she was left in her panties with her shirt rucked up to expose her chest did the unthinkable happen. 

Her phone rang. And it was the ringtone she’d set for Leia’s. “Son of a— it’s your mom. We can’t ignore that.”

“Yes we can, it’s called the block button,” Kylo insisted, then growled under his breath as she answered the phone anyway. 

“Hello?”

Rather than the distinguished feminine tone she expected, Ben’s voice greeted her on the other line. “Hey.”

She glanced to the caller ID with furrowed brows. “Hey, Ben...Something happen to your phone?” 

“Oh no, it’s just dead—forgot to charge it the past couple of days. So uh, Dad’s asking if you got to the store yet…” 

She rolled her eyes and turned to whisper at Kylo. “This whole family seriously needs AA...” Her ear pressed back to the phone, and at a normal volume, she answered, “We’re on our way back. Kylo and I stopped to look at some tide pools. Having fun at the museum?”

“Sounds fun. Um...no, we’re back at the house and uh...yeah, Dad’s just nagging me about the whiskey, so...if you could come back and shut him up, that would be great.”

“Sure. No problem. Sorry, we’ll be on our way back right now. Bye...” 

“Thanks, see you soon. I lo—“ 

Hanging up the phone, she expelled a resigned sigh as she looked to Kylo. “Apparently Han is gasping like a fish out of water. He demands whisky.”

Her guilt for cutting off Ben’s ‘_I love you_’ was far outweighed by her caution over letting Kylo hear such a thing, especially when they hadn’t exchanged that particular sentiment yet. 

Still, Kylo seemed to sense something was off as his shoulders heaved with a long-suffering sigh. “Should’ve known better than to think Ben would let us get any _ real _ privacy here...” 

“Hey...” Frowning, she gently took his chin in her hand and forced his eyes to meet hers before a soft grin tugged at her lips. “You’ll finish what you started. I’ll make sure of it.” 

As the haze of lust faded, she decided that it was for the best that they hadn’t gone any further. They didn’t need to risk any_ evidence _being left behind once they got home. It mortified her to just imagine Leia finding something on the backseat and questioning its origin.

After Kylo reluctantly drove them back to the house, he trudged inside, bottle in hand, and practically threw it at Han. 

“Drink up, old man,” he deadpanned as his eyes scanned the house. “Ben! Where are you...”

Leia popped her head around the corner. “Oh, you’re home! Come here, I read a couple articles online that gave tips on how to take care of face cuts. We need to try them out before the healing is too far along.”

Kylo barely glanced her way as he scoffed, peering into the office to find it empty. “I think the actual doctors gave me plenty of tips already, I don’t need pointers from boomer articles...” 

While he was distracted, Ben appeared at the back door, waving at Rey from behind the glass and pointing up towards the deck. He was gone by the time Kylo glanced over his shoulder again. 

“Those were medical tips, not cosmetic ones,” Leia huffed, hands on her hips. “I won’t have my son looking like a convicted felon.” 

He put on a sarcastic pout and whined. “But _ Mom_, how will I ever fit in on death row? You know what those guys will do to me if I’m too pretty...” 

“Sit down and shut up, I’m doing this for your own good.”

Rey snorted. Leave it to Leia to show her love in a no-frills kind of way. And speaking of showing some love... 

After she confirmed Kylo had (begrudgingly) given into his mother’s coaxing, she slipped out the back door and scurried up the stairs and onto the upper deck. Spotting Ben, she offered him a wide grin, fingers laced behind her back. 

“Hi...Come here often?”

“Only when I’m hiding from someone.” Ben approached with a small, tight smile. “I get the feeling I was...interrupting something when I called. Kylo doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine, does he?”

She shrugged and glanced out over the sea. “Yeah, well...we needed to get back with the booze anyway. It was probably for the best. I’m sure Leia’s car has seen enough horrors without— well.” 

He shuddered and gagged. “Don’t remind me...” 

She snickered, then reached out for him, watching his expression for permission before her arms wrapped around his waist. Pressing up on her tiptoes, she inclined her chin, silently asking for a kiss. Ever so slowly, he granted her wish. A soft hum vibrated from his throat as his hands roamed down her back and over her hips. He was _ so _ close to grabbing her ass, but instead led her backwards to one of the chairs and tugged her into his lap. 

“I missed you...”

She could barely make out his words vibrating against her lips as she straddled him. Pressing a kiss into the side of his jaw, she looped her arms around his neck. “I missed you, too...We have...so much to catch up on.”

His lips curved in a breathless smile before they joined with hers once again. 

“Yes, we do...” he hummed in agreement, though judging from the way his hands barely strayed from her waist, he didn’t know where to start. “Um...what do you like?”

“Huh?” she blinked at him, thrown off by his direct question. What did she like? Kissing, of course. And what Kylo had done in the shower had been great. But...honestly? 

“I like your hands on me,” she murmured, “Anywhere. _ Everywhere _. I just like the feeling of you touching me.”

“Anywhere?” His throat bobbed, eyes drifting down to her chest, then to where her thighs spread over his hips. Something hard twitched beneath her and his ears reddened. 

“Okay...I can do that...” he murmured, seemingly to himself before he pulled her into another deep, longing kiss. Warm palms gently cupped her jaw before they trailed down the side of her neck and slowly settled over her breasts. His touch was so careful, he seemed afraid he might break her with a single squeeze.

The cocktail of panic, interest, fear, and excitement swirling in his eyes was intoxicating. Kylo looked at her like he wanted to devour her, which was hot, but Ben looked at her like she was art. Which was also hot. When he kissed her again, she returned his passion before making it softer, gentler. Less distracting. She wanted to focus her attention on his hands. On where they were. What they were doing to her. 

She hummed in satisfaction when his hands finally slipped down to cover her breasts. Arching her back, she softly pushed them further into his palms, and sighed happily as her hips shifted over his. Their breath hitched at the same time when her core rolled over a rigid length.

The friction spurred his fingers to dive boldly beneath her shirt, fumbling with her bra as she traced her tongue along the seam of his lips. A moment later, the elastic band wrapped around her ribs gave way, and two hands pushed under the cups to palm at her. A pleasant shiver raced up her spine, and she nipped at his bottom lip gently. A soft, small noise of pleasure escaped her as his thumbs swiped over her nipples. “Again. Do that again. A little more pressure.”

His eyes were dark and hooded as he gazed up at her, not hesitating to obey her command. The pads of his thumbs dragged in firm circles over her nipples until they pebbled beneath his touch. Just when the initial tingle faded, he surprised her with a light pinch. 

“I want to see...” The words breathed past his lips and he glanced around to the neighboring balconies. She’d barely understood what he was doing before one hand rolled up her shirt and bra, leaving it bunched at her collarbone as his other hand continued to fondle her. A brief moment of heated eye contact was her only warning before his mouth softly closed over one of her peaks.

Her body jolted and her fingers tangled in his hair, applying a bit of pressure to keep him right where she wanted him. The moment she hissed his name, his fingers dug into her back and clutched her tight as he started to _ suck _, practically devouring her whole. He was careful not to bite, but his teeth lightly scraped the soft swell of her breast when he opened wider to swirl his tongue around her nipple. After a good, long taste, his lips pulled back with a soft ‘pop’, and within a second, he had a mouthful of her other tit.

She squirmed in his lap, twitching, panting, shuddering. His lips, his teeth, his tongue, his _ mouth _ was driving her mad. Her hips started a needy rhythm. She ground against him in small, sharp thrusts, whimpering as pleasure fizzled up her spine. “Ben— ah! Oh my god...”

He growled against her when she tugged at his hair, his fingers dragging down her back to grab her ass. The cotton and denim layers between them were all that kept him from thrusting up inside her---and he didn't tolerate that barrier for long. He yanked at the button on his jeans until it popped free, then did the same to her shorts. 

_ Zip_. His lips were cherry red, swollen and glistening in the sun when he finally pulled back to catch his breath. Steady need pulsed in her abdomen, back with vengeance after being denied for so long. 

"More...I need more," he panted in a strained, husky voice that hardly sounded like his own, fingers hooked beneath her shorts as if ready to rip them off at any second. "Tell me what to do..."

_ More _ , he told her. **More**, that frenzied part of her brain screamed its consent, and she wasted no time thrusting her hand down between them to grasp his length. A gasp ripped past his lips, and she groaned at how hot and hard he was against her palm. 

“Oh, _ fuck _...Rey...” His hips jerked and he leaned back with a long groan, pulse visible in his neck as his eyes fluttered.

“Fingers. Put them— put them in—“ she could barely string together a coherent sentence; too riled up and needy for him to touch her where she needed him most. She began stroking him in a steady rhythm, her grip tight. Her stammered request took a second to click, but when it did, he shoved a hand in her underwear and cupped her sex. His nostrils flared with another sharp breath as his fingers skimmed her wetness. 

“I-inside?” He whispered this right as the heel of his palm ground against her clit, and she threw her head back with a sharp inhale, moaning unabashedly. 

“Oh my god, Ben, _ please_. Just like that— yes— keep the heel of your h-hand...” she stuttered over the word when one finger curled between her outer lips and breached the folds within. "_Right there. _ Yes...” 

Her hand started moving at a faster pace, experimenting to see what got her the most reaction. A twist of her wrist on the upstroke, a swipe of the thumb over the slit at the tip, squeezing just under the glands. “God, Ben— this feels...so good.”

His lips pressed into a tight line to hold back a moan, eyes struggling to stay open but focused intently on hers. His palm rolled against her again, up and down before he tried a circle motion, all while his finger sunk deeper and deeper inside her.

“You like that?” The breathless grin curving his lips would’ve looked Kylo-like if it weren’t for his soft, worshipful gaze. 

“I _ love _ it,” she assured him breathlessly, her hips rocking against his palm, grinding herself against his hand harder. A calculated stroke of her hand caught him by surprise, and this time, he couldn’t hold back a raw, strangled moan as his cock jumped. It wasn’t loud enough to draw attention to them, but certainly loud by his standards. 

“_Mmmm _, don’t stop, please—oh that’s perfect...you’re perfect...”

Her cheeks heated at the slick sound coming from between them. Whether it was from him or her, she didn’t know...but she felt a sick sense of satisfaction from hearing it. 

“I— I can feel—“ Her tongue twisted as something tightened deep in her abdomen. Forcing herself to focus back on him, she picked up her pace, nearly bouncing in his lap. “Tell me you’re almost there, Ben. I want— together, I want—“

His free hand curled around the back of her neck. Jaw tightened, eyes dark and determined, he pushed a second digit inside her and curled them in a steady rhythm. “_Yes_, I’m close, so close...let go, baby, wanna see you fall apart for me...”

Another frisson of pleasure wracked through her as her lips molded against his, tongues sliding against each other as his palm slapped against her clit. This was even better than she could have ever imagined. 

“Ben...I’m— I’m gonna—“ she whimpered when he thrust a third finger into her, gasping and shaking as she came with a warm gush. “Oh...fuck— Ben!”

The sudden clench around his fingers made him gasp—then soak her in return. He spilled over her belly in thick, hot spurts, heaving groans muffled by her neck as his free arm clutched her to him. Cheek pressed against his temple, she nuzzled into his hair as she came down from the high. Her hips continued to gently rock against him, riding out the last waves of her orgasm until his fingers finally withdrew. 

“Holy hell...that...that was...” He panted against her skin, head shaking. “I can’t describe...You’re amazing...”

“That was brilliant, Ben.” She felt positively giddy as her lips skimmed gently against his. There had never been a doubt in her mind that she was attracted to him, just as she was to Kylo, but the fact that they’d finally gone this far...never in her wildest dreams did she think all of it would become a reality. 

She stayed in his lap for a moment longer, gently stroking his hair with one hand while the other worked on mopping up their mess with the inside of her tank. “Everyone’s probably wondering where we are…”

He fell back against the chair with a sigh, gazing over his drenched fingers. “Mm...we have to go back so soon...?” 

“Afraid so.” She gave him an apologetic kiss, and he eagerly responded, but as soon as there was enough space between them, he brought his fingers to his mouth instead. The same fingers that had been _ coated _ in her. It was a good thing she wasn’t standing. Otherwise she highly suspected her knees would have given out at the sight. 

His chest vibrated with an appreciative hum, eyes closed and tongue peeking out from his lips as he tasted her all the way to the knuckles. 

“Should’ve gone down on you instead,” he murmured as his hand dropped back to her hip. “But then again, I’d want to take my time with that...”

His words made her whimper, mind racing back to Kylo. What he’d been about to do to her in the van...despite a massive healing wound on his face. 

“How the hell did I get so lucky?” she asked in awe, pressing his lips to his again. Curiously, she swiped her tongue into his mouth. She could taste herself in there. “Maybe...we don’t have to go back _ so _ soon...” 

“**KYLO!**” 

Rey all but launched herself out of Ben’s lap, eyes wide and panicked at the sound of Leia’s shrieking voice. Only a moment later did it register that she’d shouted _ Kylo_’s name and not one of theirs. 

“Forgot which one you were with?” Ben asked, brow arched at her reaction. 

“Of course not,” she replied distractedly, not processing he’d been teasing until a moment later. Still...she never wanted him to even _ consider _ she’d forget who she was with. Coming back to give him one more chaste kiss, she assured him, “It was just hearing Leia’s voice that startled me. She could have yelled literally anything and I would have reacted the same.”

Quickly adjusting her bra, shirt, and shorts, Rey hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “Wanna see what that’s all about?”

“Oh yeah, wouldn’t miss it...” 

When they got inside, Leia was raining a flurry of smacks against her red-faced, cackling son. Most of her slaps only reached his shoulders, but when he noticed Rey and Ben, Kylo‘s howls of laughter turned into winces and cries. 

“Help, help, abuse!” 

“You’re the one abusing me, you little shit,” Leia growled, chasing him around the counter and almost tripping over her fallen purse. When she did, something small and dark rolled out from the bag, leaving a wet trail across the hardwood. 

Curiosity was the only thing that could tear Ben’s eyes away from the circus in front of him. He crouched to get a better look at the object, and his jaw gaped in a disbelieving laugh. “Is that a—“ 

“_ Sea urchin _ , yes!” Leia cried, giving up her chase as Kylo hid behind his sister. 

He didn’t earn much protection. Swinging around, Rey landed a few smacks on him herself. 

“I _ told _ you not to put that thing in her purse! When did you even—“ she cut herself off, cheeks flaming as she remembered him telling her he’d give her a head start to run back to the van. “You little shit!”

“Ow—ow—not the face, I just got it fixed!” Kylo yelped, hands raised to defend himself. “Traitor! You’re supposed to protect me!” 

Despite her put-upon annoyance, she couldn’t help a small curl of her lips. _ As mischievous as ever. _ It was strangely comforting to know that Kylo hadn’t changed _ too _ much

Ben, meanwhile, shook with laughter. He couldn’t stop even as he bent to gather up the urchin with a towel from the kitchen drawer. 

“Ky—Kylo...” He struggled to speak between chuckles, captured urchin thrust out towards his brother. “Go on, just...put this back where it belongs...” 

“You go with him,” Leia insisted. “Make sure he doesn’t _ accidentally _ put it in one of your suitcases instead.”

“Alright, then. Back to the tide pools. Move it,” Rey commanded, shooing Kylo outside towards the minivan.

“Wait, wait, can’t I just put it back in the ocean right outside?” he gestured sharply to the waves fifty feet behind the house. “Salt water is salt water, right? Does it have to be in a tidepool?” 

Ben paused, glanced down at the creature—which he now noticed was _ moving _—then shrugged. “Probably not, but better safe than sorry. Poor thing’s traumatized enough as it is...” 

Kylo rolled his eyes with a soft ‘psh’. “Traumatized, please...doesn’t even have a brain...” 

“It reminds me of you. Prickly and brainless,” Ben quipped as he carried the bundle out to the car. Rey raised her brows and offered him a high-five before he called shotgun. 

“What’s a fire, and why does it, what’s the word? Buuuuuurn?” Rey sung at Kylo with a shit-eating grin as she hoisted herself into the backseat, leaving Kylo as the reluctant driver.

He rolled his eyes as the engine turned over. “You’re so lame...” 

While they drove, Ben got a better look at the bluish white cream smeared over his brother’s wound. “What’s that? Toothpaste?” 

“Some crazy old witch’s potion, I don’t know,” Kylo sighed. “Better question is, what were you up to while I was being experimented on?”

Rey paused to consider the question, glancing over to Ben. Well...they’d agreed honesty was key. “We were evening out the score. Now we’re all on the same playing field.”

Kylo’s brows jumped with a disbelieving laugh. 

“Oh, _ really? _” He glanced at Ben, who’d already slipped on his best poker face. “You lasted two seconds, didn’t you?” 

“No...” 

“Then you were too nervous to get it up, right?” Kylo’s eyes met Rey’s in the rearview mirror. “Come on, sis, give me the performance review.”

“Kylo...” she spoke his name in a warning tone, catching his eye. “We agreed on no details.” 

As they passed a familiar landmark, signaling they were getting closer to the tide pools, she was reminded of the conversation she’d had there with Kylo. She bit her lip, glancing between the two. How could she possibly choose between them? How did they broach the subject with Ben? She had no clue…

“You mean _ he _ agreed on no details,” Kylo continued, naturally refusing to let the subject drop. “Because he doesn’t want me to know how bad he did.” 

Ben was silent for a long moment before he muttered under his breath. “You’ll see how I did if she lets you touch her before the day’s over...You’ll _ feel _ it.” 

_ Oh my god. _Burying her face in her hands, she shook her head. She knew she should’ve changed her damn shirt. 

“What is _ that _ supposed to mean?” Kylo snapped, but in typical Ben fashion, his brother didn’t elaborate. A silent smile plastered over his features as he gazed out the window. He was the first to get out when they parked, gently carrying the urchin past the sign pointing to the tide pools. 

As soon as he was out of earshot, Kylo glued himself to Rey’s side, hissing desperately in her ear. “Please, you have to tell me, I’m _ dying _ here...”

She’d hoped their arrival would put an end to the discussion, but she should have known better. 

“Alright, _ fine_. We uh...well, we sat on one of the rooftop chairs and he used his fingers on me while I used by hand on him. He uh— made a mess on my stomach. So that’s what he meant when he said—“ she grimaced, nose scrunching. “Anyway, I didn’t have time to clean up before Leia pushed us out the door.”

“You did it on the _ roof? _ In broad daylight? Oh my god, is that his kink, exhibitionism?” Kylo’s snickers turned to a gasp as he looked down at her belly. “Oh, you dirty girl...I’m gonna have to give you another shower...” 

“Shush!” Her cheeks erupted into flames, but her shove was playful. She bit back a grin at his latter musing. “I might let you.”

When they reached Ben, he had already deposited the urchin in one of the tide pools, and now knelt to watch as it rolled over sea stars and bits of coral. 

“Shame we don’t have a tank,” he sighed, looking up at Rey with a sheepish smile. “I’m kind of attached now.” 

Kylo plopped down beside him with a snort. “I’m basically the same thing, right? You gonna put me in a tank?” 

“If I can find one big enough for your ego, sure...”

Rey rolled her eyes at their banter as she joined them. “Don’t you think it’d be more fitting to put me in a tank? I’m the only one whose been an _ actual _ urchin before.”

“You’re so right.” Kylo threw an arm around her shoulders and gave her hair a playful tug. “We’ll decorate it with garbage and feed you scraps so you’ll feel right at home...” 

“Gee, thanks!” 

She pinched his side in retribution, and he shifted his teasing to his brother, elbowing him in the side with a gleam in his eye. “Finally found out what your kink is. I could’ve guessed so many things, but not _ that_...” 

“Kylo...” she groaned, sending a beseechingly apologetic look to Ben, whose expression scrunched in confusion. 

“But I don’t...we didn’t...” 

Kylo held up a hand, stopping Ben’s denials short. “Look, I’m sure it’s a thrill having strangers watch you get off, but we can’t afford to get caught with our _ situation_...” 

“No one saw us!” Ben’s whole face glowed pink, arms wrapped tight around himself as his eyes darted around, making sure they hadn’t been heard. “And that’s _ not _ my kink...” 

“Oh? Then what is?”

Rey poked her finger into the tide pool and swirling it around, pretending to be interested in the creatures below while her ears stayed perked. When Ben stayed silent, Kylo let out a frustrated growl.

“Why do I have to launch a full blown interrogation to get any answers out of you two? Communication is the first rule of polyamory!” 

Rey glanced at Ben out of the corner of her eye, and found his blush deepened as he spoke. “This isn’t—we’re not in a polyamorous relationship...” 

Kylo scoffed and flicked him in the ear. “You’re in the _ definition _ of one, dumbass.” 

Batting him away, Ben shot him a narrow-eyed glare. “Why do you care so much what I’m into? It’s not like you’re going to be there for it, so what does it matter?”

Kylo’s grin turned wolfish, and after sparing Rey a wicked look, he leaned in close to tell his brother the big secret. “Actually...I _ am _ going to be there for it. At least, at a certain point...”

Her eyes widened, and she hastened to explain, “Kylo— we’ll think of something else. Figure something else out. _ That’s _ not even an option, and you know it.”

“It’s the _ only _ option, and _ you _ know it!” 

“What’s the only option?” Ben let out an exasperated huff, eyes darting between them. “What are you talking about?” 

Kylo cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders as if preparing for a fight before he turned back to face Ben. “Well, brother, before I answer that, I have to ask you something. Would you ever, in a million years, let me be the one to take her virginity?” 

“_Hell _ no.” 

“Mmhm, that’s what I thought.”

“_Or _ we could shift the focus away from my virginity and onto both of yours, and then it won’t matter who I’m with first,” she protested. It was a weak argument and she knew it, but there was _ no way _ Ben would choose Kylo’s alternative. Hers was the best they had.

“But...but it does matter.” Ben swallowed hard, and Kylo threw up his hands behind him, mouthing ‘I told you so’. 

Great. The one time Ben and Kylo finally agreed on something, it had to be _ now_.

“I know it’s your body and all.” Ben’s palms rubbed over his knees as he worried his lower lip. “But...I want our first time to be together. It’s...special.” 

“Exactly,” Kylo grabbed his attention again. “But Little Miss Indecisive here isn’t ever going to pick which one gets that special moment. If you want to pop your cherry anytime this century, my way is the only way.” 

“And what’s ‘your way’?” Ben’s brow creased hard, wheels spinning into overdrive. “You just...being there? I don’t get it.” 

“More like being _ in _ there, right there beside you.”

Ben reeled back as soon as Kylo dropped the bomb, eyes wide and mouth twisted. “No—no, we’re _ not _ doing that. You kissed her first, you touched her first, it’s _ my _ turn—“ 

“There are no turns, we’re even now. And you know this is different. It matters just as much to me as it does to you.” 

Ben stared at him for a long moment, taking in his soft, serious expression, before Rey’s wry words broke the silence 

“Kylo thinks that just because he saw it in porn it can easily happen in real life…”

Ben nodded sharply, eyes flitting between them. “Yeah, it can’t happen in real life...we’d never fit...right?” 

Kylo shrugged. “Don’t know until we try.”

If Rey was completely honest...the idea didn’t repulse her. Far from it. She still wasn’t certain they wouldn’t rip her in two, but if Kylo was to be believed...if all they needed to do was some prepping... 

“I’d try it,” she admitted. “I would. After we do some research and figure out if it really is possible.”

Ben blinked hard before his eyes dropped the ground, hand dragging through his hair. All the redness from earlier had drained from his face. “Even if it is...even if that’s what you want, I—It’s so fucked up. I know this whole situation is fucked up, but still...” 

“It’s no dream come true for me, either, but it’s _ hers_,” Kylo said, head tilted and lips drawn in a thin, matter-of-fact smile. “You had to know she’d want us at the same time sooner or later. And you _ love _ her, don’t you?”

“Kylo, stop... don’t pressure him into this,” Rey murmured, placing a hand on his arm before turning to Ben. “He’s not wrong in terms of me wanting it. I...I do. But only if both of you do, too. The last thing I want is for either of you to regret your first times. We’ll...figure out another way.”

Kylo backed off with a dull sigh. “I’m just being honest. Someone has to tell him the truth. He can waste his time trying to convince you to choose him, or give you up for one night...or share. The choice is his.” 

Ben still couldn’t look either of them in the eye, lower lip bitten raw and fingers twisting together. “I can’t _ think _ of another way...I um...I just need time to process...” 

“That’s fine. No rush.” Kylo patted his back in a strange moment of affection, ignoring Ben’s flinch before he rose to his feet and extended a hand to Rey. “There’s still plenty of one-on-one foreplay to be had, after all...”

She gawked at him, thrown off by his sudden change in tune. Was he actually backing off? She would have expected him to keep hounding Ben until he fled back to the car just to escape the pressure. Had Kylo finally learned to be tactful? Maybe he always had been, but only when the result really mattered to him. 

“He’s right. No rush.” She finally took Kylo’s outstretched hand and let him help her up. Wiping the sand off the back of her shorts, she gave a subtle nod at his latter suggestion, mind jumping straight to the ‘one-on-one foreplay’ they _ hadn’t _ done yet, but both brothers had been so eager for. 

She swallowed hard and glanced to Ben. His mask had come back on, making his eyes impossible to read. 

“Um...we should probably get back,” he said, clearing his throat. “Mom said we’d head home today...”

“Really?” Her eyes went wide, glancing between the two of them. What day was it? She’d lost track in all of the...drama. She blinked, mentally calculating the nights that had passed. Was it really Sunday already? It felt like they came to the beach house just yesterday...but also a lifetime ago. 

Absolutely nothing would be the same when they returned home.


End file.
